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My husband and I are starting the long process of finding a future place to live- we just want to try something new. I've been here 40 years now and I'm so ready for a change. My kids are 16, 18 and 21. Even though I know my two oldest can go out on their own, they have both expressed a desire to come with us, even if they live on their own. This is my worry: We live in a very safe small, WY town. Some of the places we want to move have higher crime and I just don't think my kids quite understand the dangers that they could encounter if they are not paying attention. They are kind, trusting kids.
I have found that living in a small town and watching a lot of crime documentaries isn't necessarily a good idea lol. I find that I am extremely paranoid when we head to a bigger city during vacations, etc. So I want to learn to relax and enjoy life in our new home wherever that may be, but I want to have a healthy awareness. Of course we all have a basic idea of things: Don't ride with strangers, lock your doors, don't get involved with the wrong types of people, that sort of thing. What else can you think of that I need to communicate with my teens? I just want them to be able to start this new life and embrace it fully, but I want them to take seriously the fact that not all places in this world will be like small-town Wyoming and that they need to take the dangers seriously. Please help.
It really depends on where you move, but I don't really think you need to worry too much about your kids adjusting.
Most 'street smarts' are just common sense, and it has been my experience that children who were raised in small towns often have much more common sense than those who were raised in urban areas.
When we moved to IL from FL six years ago, our son was 16. We lived outside a small town in FL (3000) and moved to a largish city in IL of 100,000.
Our son adjusted just fine. The only issue I recall was that he always got suckered in by 'homeless' people and gave them money.
It does depend a lot on where you move, but people are people everywhere. Good and bad.
The best advice I can give is to always be aware of your surroundings, especially if you are in an area that you are unfamiliar with.
But please just try to relax and enjoy your new adventure.
Unless your kids have had an *extremely* sheltered life, I'd bet that they have a pretty good idea of what goes on in the world.
You will all be fine
If something sounds to good to be true it probably is.
Never, ever give out your personal information no matter who it is who says they are calling.
Don't let people get too close to you on city streets - ie, if someone "accidentally" spills something on you and just magically has a napkin to clean it up, just walk away.
Don't be afraid to be rude to someone if you get a bad vibe. Oh, that nice young man wants to help you carry your bags to the car, but he gives you the heebie jeebies? Trust that instinct. Don't worry about hurting his feelings. You're never gonna see him again, what's he gonna do, tell his friends about the lady who was rude to him?
For a good book, read Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" - not scary, but will change your common sense....and your spidey sense.
Most people are good and most areas are fine. Enjoy your adventure..
Mollybygolly and Twingles, thank you so much. Molly I had to laugh when you brought up your son giving the homeless money. We went to Denver once and were standing in line for a concert and a big, homeless man targeted my son for money. To make a long story short, security had to be called in and it took four men to get him out of there. Very scary situation. I'm guessing he was mentally ill, as he kept talking to himself and then would start yelling and talking in "tongues". My son has since gone to Denver several times since with friends and seems to be able to handle himself fine now lol. Thanks for the good advice both of you and Twingles, I have heard that book is excellent. I will definitely read it. TN, AR and NC are the three main places we are considering at this point.
I think that any of those three states will be relatively "safe" as long as you research the particular areas you are considering.
Obviously big cities will have more crime, but there are hundreds of smaller 'cities' and rural areas that are very safe.
I've done a lot of research on TN, and would love to live there. I just don't think the winters will be warm enough for me, so I'm leaning towards FL.
My husband and I are starting the long process of finding a future place to live- we just want to try something new. I've been here 40 years now and I'm so ready for a change. My kids are 16, 18 and 21. Even though I know my two oldest can go out on their own, they have both expressed a desire to come with us, even if they live on their own. This is my worry: We live in a very safe small, WY town. Some of the places we want to move have higher crime and I just don't think my kids quite understand the dangers that they could encounter if they are not paying attention. They are kind, trusting kids.
I have found that living in a small town and watching a lot of crime documentaries isn't necessarily a good idea lol. I find that I am extremely paranoid when we head to a bigger city during vacations, etc. So I want to learn to relax and enjoy life in our new home wherever that may be, but I want to have a healthy awareness. Of course we all have a basic idea of things: Don't ride with strangers, lock your doors, don't get involved with the wrong types of people, that sort of thing. What else can you think of that I need to communicate with my teens? I just want them to be able to start this new life and embrace it fully, but I want them to take seriously the fact that not all places in this world will be like small-town Wyoming and that they need to take the dangers seriously. Please help.
I think City Data has good info on any place you might go. I wouldn't over think this. You can find a nice mid sized city that is safe for you and your kids.
In terms of mistakes people sometimes make, I'd rank mistakes such as leaving one's billfold or purse in a locked care, or leaving the car unlocked, or forgetting to lock all the doors in a house as pretty, well, stupid, and inviting theft. There are some hazards you can't really know how to avoid, such as someone shooting up a shopping center or hijacking your car. (Never happened to me and I've always lived in a pretty large suburban area.) But not leaving your possessions unguarded is pretty standard stuff to me.
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