Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hi all,
I would appreciate any advice from someone who has been through something similar.
My husband and I are desperate to escape the long, cold winters and high cost of living in Boston MA. We are going to need to move to the suburbs soon because of the public schools, which means a commute time of over an hour. Even in the suburbs, housing is crazy expensive. We have good salaries but to afford a single family home would eat up much of our money each month.
We have our sights set on Charleston SC (specifically, Mt. Pleasant). It appeals to us mostly because of the weather and the lower cost of living, but the shorter commutes and proximity to the beach are also very appealing. My husband's job will pay the same there (mine will pay about 30% less) but housing costs half of what it does in Boston. We have visited once for the purpose of scouting for a move and we loved it. We do have some hesitation about how well us Northern Liberals will fit in down there.
Our biggest hesitation about moving is leaving our extended family. Currently have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and our 3rd on the way. My mom lives 15 minutes away and babysits for us often, even taking the kids overnight once a month or so. My sister is 40 minutes away and my dad is an hour away.
We don't know anyone in Charleston.
Our jobs are very transferrable and we can work pretty much anywhere.
What would you do? Move for climate and a better lifestyle (similar salary with lower cost of living, shorter commute)? Or stay close to family and friends? Would you wait to move until the kids are older so we have more help while they are little? Or move now before they are really established in schools with their friends etc?
Probably better sooner than later since the kids are young and while your jobs allow you to be transferred. Moving from a really high cost of living state to the south will be very advantageous in many ways, other than just the cost. The lifestyle, people and overall benefits will be worthwhile. You both work and have young children so that puts you in the best position to make friends and establish roots at your new location.
Yes, you are moving away from family, however that’s very common today since people often relocate to find a better job, advance their career or you must do to stay with an employer who’s moving south to lower their overall expenses. Generally, will have better relationships with your family since visits and quality time will be more more important and efficient than when you were right down the street from them. You and your family will enjoy a higher quality of life. We recently moved from the NY area to Roanoke Virginia and love it here. It’s amazing how warm and friendly people are in this area and we’re loving the much shorter and milder winters, not to mention the cost of living.
Good luck deciding but like many others, you may end up saying, Wish we did it sooner!
As young as you are, you will make new friends pretty much anywhere you go.
Your northern liberal attitude will be an issue for some people but not all. Keep that rule of not discussing religion or politics and your life will be easier (I moved from CT to KY and had that issue).
As for your kids, they will adjust better now than later.
If you are certain about where you want to be, I would do it.
My husband and I are desperate to escape the long, cold winters and high cost of living in Boston MA.
Our jobs are very transferable and we can work pretty much anywhere.
Our biggest hesitation about moving is leaving our extended family.
What would you do?
You become the anchor that your relatives relocate toward.
I settled in Dallas, Tx while my siblings and parents continued to live in the San Franscisco Bay Area. In Texas, my family had a great house to live in.
Over the years it became more and more impossible to even consider moving closer to my family. So my son would visit his grandparents for a couple of weeks in the summer and many of our family vacations were just to see my family. My adult brother and sister never really became close to my son. He never experienced living in the bosom of an extended family. When my sister’s husband died unexpectedly, of course I flew in for the funeral but wasn’t local to hang with her. When my own husband was in hospice, I was away from the support of my family. Then my Dad died, and I wasn’t local to be a source of ongoing comfort to my Mom.....couldn’t drive over on a weekend just to have coffee with her. Sure, we stayed in touch. I phoned a lot. Not the same.
Hi all,
I would appreciate any advice from someone who has been through something similar.
My husband and I are desperate to escape the long, cold winters and high cost of living in Boston MA. We are going to need to move to the suburbs soon because of the public schools, which means a commute time of over an hour. Even in the suburbs, housing is crazy expensive. We have good salaries but to afford a single family home would eat up much of our money each month.
We have our sights set on Charleston SC (specifically, Mt. Pleasant). It appeals to us mostly because of the weather and the lower cost of living, but the shorter commutes and proximity to the beach are also very appealing. My husband's job will pay the same there (mine will pay about 30% less) but housing costs half of what it does in Boston. We have visited once for the purpose of scouting for a move and we loved it. We do have some hesitation about how well us Northern Liberals will fit in down there.
Our biggest hesitation about moving is leaving our extended family. Currently have a 4 year old, 2 year old, and our 3rd on the way. My mom lives 15 minutes away and babysits for us often, even taking the kids overnight once a month or so. My sister is 40 minutes away and my dad is an hour away.
We don't know anyone in Charleston.
Our jobs are very transferrable and we can work pretty much anywhere.
What would you do? Move for climate and a better lifestyle (similar salary with lower cost of living, shorter commute)? Or stay close to family and friends? Would you wait to move until the kids are older so we have more help while they are little? Or move now before they are really established in schools with their friends etc?
You are going to get opinions from all over the place and many will not be highly applicable to your personal situation. Here's mine - coming from a parent of 3 kids who moved from a Southeastern state far, far away from family in the Midwest to a Midwestern state closer to (but still mutiple hours away from) family.
I personally would not move for climate. You might face the inverse of what you are trying to escape. For example, in NC, it would get so hot/humid in the very middle of summer that for a couple of months my kids really couldn't play outside for any length of time. Sunscreen is not optional. As someone who spent long days of summer (your time off of school as a kid, for the most part) outdoors, that felt a little tough. Now here, the kids are going a little crazy from being cooped up in the winter, but the reality is also that they'll be playing outside when they're done with school, as when it's cold out it's also dark earlier in the day, and they have some after school activities that help take the edge off of that a little . Not that we're not sick of winter at this point and wishing on a certain level we were in NC enjoying an early spring. However, I also remember what spring brought to our house with my son's asthma in NC. We spent so much time dealing with flare-ups in the spring and fall from his allergies that we ended up in the emergency room, he was restricted from playing outside even in temperate weather some days, and we would wake up multiple times at night when he'd have breathing issues. Now, there's snow on the ground, yes, but he sleeps through every night without a problem (unless he has a flare-up due to a virus). If any of your family has allergies or asthma, make sure you look into the impact a southern climate would have on those.
Regarding child care, you might get lucky and find fabulous child care help that you will trust and be able to pay to go on dates regularly. Or you might not. Or it might take a few tries. You will not, unequivocally, find help that rivals that of your mom or your family. No one is going to watch your 3 kids overnight for free. You will not trust a lost of people to do so even when paid. And your kids will see less of your family, although the impact of distance is not as severe now as it was decades ago. We Skyped and Facetimed every week. We've always been far away so I don't know what it's like to drop my kids off at Mom's or mom-in-law's for date night, so I think I would take the loss of that seriously. If you are already very self-sufficient in taking care of your family needs, it will be less of an impact.
I also know what it's like to move for better schools. We reaped the benefit of better schools when we moved. Make sure you would be happy with the schools in the neighborhoods you're looking into in SC. Do not make that leap without investigating that thoroughly. However, I also know what it's like to stare down the barrel of sending your kids to the local less-than-good public school. It's a tough choice and on a gut level as a parent you know when you need to make a change. Best of luck to you as you determine what that needs to be for your family.
We are in the process of moving due to living in a northern climate where we have an established group of friends who can help us out. We do not know anyone where we are moving either!
It may take a while, but I know that being able to be outside most of the year will outweigh anything else. I'm anxious to move now, because keeping a toddler inside for months on end has been a nightmare. When we go outside it is such a huge quality of life improvement because of his improved mood and behavior. You will find other childcare options, and can budget for more given the lower cost of living. Look for a church, even if you're not very religious, to tap into the community quickly and find people who can help you.
We did just that in 2015. Left Michigan and moved to Florida for a better quality of life. It has been an awesome experience, but now we are moving back to Michigan. When we first arrived to FL my kids were 2.5 and 4 yrs old. They had already developed close bonds with grandparents and aunts/uncles, but we thought moving while they were still young was better for many reasons. We've had wonderful experiences down here and honestly I don't want to leave! The reason we are moving is because I am now pregnant for our third (due in September), and every time we visit back home our kids cry because they don't want to leave. They miss their family so much, and now they have cousins to grow up with (my sister has since had 2 kids, and my husbands brother now has 1). Holidays get lonely not being with family, and summers at the lake with everyone.. You really don't realize what you miss out on. Now that my kids are older they have voiced their thoughts to us, so my husband and I really had to sit down and talk about this. Both of us love it here!! But we want whats best for them and I know right now is prime time to form bonds with family, it is much harder to do when you're older. So back to Michigan we go, and in the future 5-7 years from now we will re-evaluate and probably move back to Florida. Also, can't wait to have family babysit again and grandparents to take them overnight! LOL
We are in the process of moving due to living in a northern climate where we have an established group of friends who can help us out. We do not know anyone where we are moving either!
It may take a while, but I know that being able to be outside most of the year will outweigh anything else. I'm anxious to move now, because keeping a toddler inside for months on end has been a nightmare. When we go outside it is such a huge quality of life improvement because of his improved mood and behavior. You will find other childcare options, and can budget for more given the lower cost of living. Look for a church, even if you're not very religious, to tap into the community quickly and find people who can help you.
It probably depends on how much you can enjoy a new situation though and how much you can still visit family. Money isn’t a problem for me so visiting back home whenever I want is easy, and my company isn’t based where I live now or where I’m moving but it’s in LA so I will be a car ride away (I own the company). I also know for me it’s not just a move over but a move up as we’ll have a nicer home with a pool, hot tub, fire pit, etc., and the disposable income to enjoy the best Vegas has to offer. That’s one reason we waited a bit too because it was pointless to me to move there before I could afford the lifestyle I wanted to live.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
