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I am a young professional, and thankfully my job allows me to work from pretty much anywhere. This has opened up many possibilities for me as far as where I want my life going, and the past couple of months I have been thinking about making a move. I live right now in NYC, and while I love it, I absolutely despise the winter, and even the extremely horrible summers. My first option was SoCal, specifically LA, which is known for its year round awesome weather. I was then deferred by this because essentially all of my family is based on the NYC/NJ area. Growing up with just my mom, dad, and sister and the here and there extended family, I've really learned to cherish and appreciate family and what they do for you. So because of LA's distance, I decided to look elsewhere. Then I thought of Miami, but after reading and doing research, I decided that that's not the place for me either. LA has since crossed my mind again and I'm not sure what to do. What I pay for my apt in NYC is around the same I'd pay for a modest house in Calabasas, or an apt in Beverly Hills, so in the financial aspect, it makes sense. Part of me wants to just say suck it up and put up with the winter because what kind of person puts weather over family? My mind has just been going all over the place, and I'm just looking for advice/opinions. If you were in my shoes what would you do?
Go to LA on a trial basis, rent and see how it goes. If you miss your family too much you can always return. With the INTERNET you can video call often and you can always fly out occasionally too...and they can come a visit you too!
Go to LA on a trial basis, rent and see how it goes. If you miss your family too much you can always return. With the INTERNET you can video call often and you can always fly out occasionally too...and they can come a visit you too!
I know, I know. I'm just thinking far into the future. I was never really around my grandparents growing up, and I missed out on that. I would hate for my nonexistent kids to also have to go through the same thing.
Do you know anyone in SoCal or Miami? Even if it is not family have friends in the place you relocate can help to feel less homesick for your family. Also can help introduce you to others. I have lived in both Thousand Oaks CA which is the neighbor to Calabasas and then Boca Raton which is near Miami. You are coming from NY which is very expensive such as Calabasas though don't forget you will need a car. For nice weather though Calabasas can top 100 in the summers it is still much nicer then the humid heat of Miami for 6 plus months. Miami in nice parts can be expensive as well. Some people living in Calabasas think of it as more a family area though so if you are into nightlife you may want to look somewhere else.
Now back to your family issue would you be able to visit? Currently how often do you get together with your family? Something I miss about living away from family is the times you can just pop by or meet for dinner. Since you stated about the future if I were to have kids I would want my mom their grandparents to be involved and that would for sure make me want to live near. I understand there is visiting but my grandma was such a huge part of my life and I would want my kids to have the same.
You stated you can live anywhere because of your job but is there a state that would offer more growth or better pay? Do you want to be able to save money for the future?
Good luck
I'm the opposite of you. My kids are almost nearly grown, and will probably remain here in New England for at least awhile while their careers get going. I'm getting ready to move to Florida for the same reasons you're thinking of moving.
My kids don't visit me terribly often ... they have their own lives, which is as it should be. So I can't see tying myself down here just for sentiment's sake. On the other hand, I talk and text with them constantly.
I understand that there are lots of people out there -- perhaps the majority -- who think "family above all else." But I never quite understood the idea of living somewhere you hate because of that. Like another poster said, there's plenty of technology to keep us together in many ways. Loving your fam doesn't mean they have to be able to walk into your home unannounced any time they want!
If anything, now is the perfect time for you to move and find out what you love. Later there will be children who you can't move around -- at least not if you want them to have any kind of stable life -- so go for it now, while you can!
Another reason to do it now ... even later in life you may be constrained to care for aging parents who won't move to you. (My elderly ex-MIL refused to move to be near us when my ex, her only son, and I were considering moving, because she couldn't leave the graves of deceased family members ... oy.)
Do you know anyone in SoCal or Miami? Even if it is not family have friends in the place you relocate can help to feel less homesick for your family. Also can help introduce you to others. I have lived in both Thousand Oaks CA which is the neighbor to Calabasas and then Boca Raton which is near Miami. You are coming from NY which is very expensive such as Calabasas though don't forget you will need a car. For nice weather though Calabasas can top 100 in the summers it is still much nicer then the humid heat of Miami for 6 plus months. Miami in nice parts can be expensive as well. Some people living in Calabasas think of it as more a family area though so if you are into nightlife you may want to look somewhere else.
Now back to your family issue would you be able to visit? Currently how often do you get together with your family? Something I miss about living away from family is the times you can just pop by or meet for dinner. Since you stated about the future if I were to have kids I would want my mom their grandparents to be involved and that would for sure make me want to live near. I understand there is visiting but my grandma was such a huge part of my life and I would want my kids to have the same.
You stated you can live anywhere because of your job but is there a state that would offer more growth or better pay? Do you want to be able to save money for the future?
Good luck
I unfortunately know no one in SoCal or Miami. I guess in essence I would be able to visit, but there are only so many 6 hour flights I am able to take in a year. It's the little things, like you said. Popping by for dinner, gong to my nonexistent kid's activities, emergency babysitting, etc. My parents are such a huge part of my life and are such amazing people and I would hate to deprive my future kids of that. I know I keep talking about kids that I don't have but I am 25 and in a serious relationship, so kids are around the corner.
I'm the opposite of you. My kids are almost nearly grown, and will probably remain here in New England for at least awhile while their careers get going. I'm getting ready to move to Florida for the same reasons you're thinking of moving.
My kids don't visit me terribly often ... they have their own lives, which is as it should be. So I can't see tying myself down here just for sentiment's sake. On the other hand, I talk and text with them constantly.
I understand that there are lots of people out there -- perhaps the majority -- who think "family above all else." But I never quite understood the idea of living somewhere you hate because of that. Like another poster said, there's plenty of technology to keep us together in many ways. Loving your fam doesn't mean they have to be able to walk into your home unannounced any time they want!
If anything, now is the perfect time for you to move and find out what you love. Later there will be children who you can't move around -- at least not if you want them to have any kind of stable life -- so go for it now, while you can!
Unfortunately our situations are different. My nuclear family is the world to me, and I visit my parents regularly. If it's not popping by their house for lunch/dinner during the week, it's sunday family dinners. I have my own life and so do they, but we get together any chance we get.
I love my family dear as we have always been close but after living in my homestate and town for all my life, it truly is time to get away and get some space between me and my folks for my own benefit as well as there's. I'm gonna be staying the Northwest though as its what im familiar and comfortable with, Seattle hopefully within the next few months. Because my folks and sister will only be a few hours away via driving in the Yakima area eventually, its a nice balance of personal freedom and space and yet still being able to stay close to family.
You're young and should definitely try your wings. I spent 20+ years in the military and saw my relatives MAYBE twice a year. I was able to live in many different places and travel the world. That is something I would never regret. I would imagine your parents brought you up to be independent...if you don't go, the rest of your life you will be saying..."I shoulda, woulda, coulda." Heck you can ALWAYS move back.
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