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It's been 1.5 years of pure hell where I live with almost nothing going right, relationship wise, job wise, fair at best social life, etc, running out of money slowly, so.....
I don't of course want to move and have the same issues somewhere else. I know that some people say, you are responsible for most of the good karma in your life, but, is there anyone who can give advise on a positive change in circumstances, after such a move, a dramatic one, on top of that?
On the flip side too, what if you've moved from a bad situation and you've experienced worse in your new area?
I love my area, but for some reason, it's been very, very hard, in the last 19 months (before that, for almost the same period, it was not good, but fair and manageable) but I don't know if this is a god send, saying, this is too far from family, of any kind, get the bleep out.
Thoughts? I'm far from broke, but running out of inheritance money and soon (unless I'm able to save) will have barely enough to make a move over 1k miles comfortably.
Peace.
I've absolutely had some positive experiences after moving from an area where things were not going right. I am a firm believer that you should cut your losses and leave after trying for quite a while with nothing working.
I moved to San Diego after college because I always wanted to move to California, and nothing ever worked out there. It was difficult for me to admit that I actually hated California after wanting to live there forever. Finally, I moved to NYC. I found a rent stabilized apartment and got a job at a national news network by temping. Nobody could believe it. I read that 2% of people who moved to NYC found a rent-stabilized affordable apartment, and I know it was not easy to get a job at a news network. After 10 years, I left that job and free-lanced, but just couldn't find anything that worked out, and I was really getting depressed. So I moved to Miami and got a good job, an apartment and met someone I married. Definitely a good move.
I think when things aren't working somewhere, and you've really given it your all, then move on. Things just click when you move somewhere you are supposed to be. The key is to know yourself well enough to realize it when you find a place where you feel right. And sometimes you have to be able to admit it when you've made a mistake and moved somewhere you just don't belong even if you thought you would like it.
OP: Since you love where you live, it's a much bigger risk than if you hated it.
I hated living in Austin, TX so bad that I knew I was going to leave sooner or later, with or without my husband. In time he wanted to leave there, too. That was clear back in the 70's and, while I'm not wild about where I moved to, I'm still here and it's been a far cry better than had I stayed where I was. It was easy to take that risk and leave because we hated where we were living. But it hasn't been a smooth ride.
And I don't think life is always smooth for anyone. It's all about trade-offs and choosing the lesser of evils.
No and Yes. I moved out of state and it was a disaster. I moved back home and it got even worse. I moved to another location and things continued to get worse. It has been really bad for a long time but things are looking up. I have faith in God and I am optimistic about the future.
No and Yes. I moved out of state and it was a disaster. I moved back home and it got even worse. I moved to another location and things continued to get worse. It has been really bad for a long time but things are looking up. I have faith in God and I am optimistic about the future.
That's a good way to look at it. Moving and the psychology and the spirituality of moving are complicated things, but then again--not. Life sucks everywhere, so sometimes it's seriously better to have it suck somewhere new. I'm serious.
My wife and I have moved 10 times in the past 14 years. We were just addicted to wanderlust! Shiftless hippy bums
But seriously, our 2nd to last move was to S. Florida to help with a very bad family situation. Within 6 months, I knew this was not a long-term move. It turned out to be a life altering, horrifying move, the worst I have ever experienced. South Florida was just not for me. It actually triggered a serious depression I could not get out of. So, when the opportunity to move came about, we jumped on it. We had a choice of PA or KY. We decided to throw caution into the wind and move to KY, which we had visited and had a very pleasant experience, but, it still was just a visit. In short, KY tuned out to be exactly what we were looking for in all those other moves. We lucked into the best place I have ever lived. So to answer the OP's question, my life improved astronomically after a life changing move. I still wake up thankful that the cloud has lifted, years later. I learned that places you have expectations of will usually let you down, and to travel with an open heart and mind because the ones you have NO expectation of are the one that will always pleasantly surprise you.
I can see no reason to hang around in an undesirable situation if you don't have to.
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cjmeck
I'm a big believer in the karma thing and I don't see anything in your post that will change by moving. Except family... if being closer to family is a thought that keeps popping in your mind from time to time then maybe that is worth considering. There is a lesson to be learned in everything, stepping stones to get you to the next destination. I'd explore what it is that is making you unhappy, and if a change in location will solve it, then go. But if its more of a rut in your life, do something different with yourself. I've moved a lot. Each time a new state, starting from scratch, reinventing my life. Some places were better than others, some were terrible but each place taught me something about myself. But most places, well, they are what you make of them. Good luck to you.
It's been 1.5 years of pure hell where I live with almost nothing going right, relationship wise, job wise, fair at best social life, etc, running out of money slowly, so.....
I don't of course want to move and have the same issues somewhere else. I know that some people say, you are responsible for most of the good karma in your life, but, is there anyone who can give advise on a positive change in circumstances, after such a move, a dramatic one, on top of that?
On the flip side too, what if you've moved from a bad situation and you've experienced worse in your new area?
I love my area, but for some reason, it's been very, very hard, in the last 19 months (before that, for almost the same period, it was not good, but fair and manageable) but I don't know if this is a god send, saying, this is too far from family, of any kind, get the bleep out.
Thoughts? I'm far from broke, but running out of inheritance money and soon (unless I'm able to save) will have barely enough to make a move over 1k miles comfortably.
Peace.
This is close to my story. I moved to Denver with the illusion I could get a good paying job quick (no luck...easy to get a job that pays $14-15 or less and hour, but that won't cut it) and my car, which is necessary in this area, had to be junked because repairs were more than the value of it. Unlike you, I cannot wait to move. The mountains are nice, but everything else is sub-par to Chicago and Portland, OR, which was the other city I was thinking about moving to.
It hasn't lived up to my expectations. The unemployment rate is low, but the pay for a majority of the jobs is too low for the constantly increasing rent prices from the high demand and low supply of apartments plus other life experiences. Being completely land locked is getting to me. Up until now, I have never lived further than 40 miles from the shores of a large body of water (Lake Michigan and briefly Lake Superior...I know, not an ocean, but these are still large bodies of water). There is zero public transportation, there is little to no hiking within a 30-40 minutes drive, and not really an urban feeling i.e. high density, even in the downtown area.
The biggest problem is that I thought I would be around a lot of like minded people, but they are...well, it is tough to describe. I connect easily with people from the Great Lakes and Northeast, but natives and other westerners are on a completely different wave length. Nobody has any urgency. I don't know if it is the sun, altitude, weed, or any of the 7 possible combinations of the three, but most of the people seem to be out of it.
The funniest thing is that as recent as two months ago and before then I was the biggest cheerleader for this town. While I don't hate it, I am really indifferent. To this point it has been the biggest mistake of my life...a complete waste of time and money.
My wife and I have moved 10 times in the past 14 years. We were just addicted to wanderlust! Shiftless hippy bums
But seriously, our 2nd to last move was to S. Florida to help with a very bad family situation. Within 6 months, I knew this was not a long-term move. It turned out to be a life altering, horrifying move, the worst I have ever experienced. South Florida was just not for me. It actually triggered a serious depression I could not get out of. So, when the opportunity to move came about, we jumped on it. We had a choice of PA or KY. We decided to throw caution into the wind and move to KY, which we had visited and had a very pleasant experience, but, it still was just a visit. In short, KY tuned out to be exactly what we were looking for in all those other moves. We lucked into the best place I have ever lived. So to answer the OP's question, my life improved astronomically after a life changing move. I still wake up thankful that the cloud has lifted, years later. I learned that places you have expectations of will usually let you down, and to travel with an open heart and mind because the ones you have NO expectation of are the one that will always pleasantly surprise you.
I can see no reason to hang around in an undesirable situation if you don't have to.
Boy, does this speak to me! I also had a life-altering, horrifying move to South Florida. I assume that if I'd been born in South Florida, I'd love the place. Everything is so relative.
I've gotten more insights from this particular thread than maybe any other (I've posted a lot since signing up here less than two months ago). You are absolutely right about moving places you had high regard for and expectations of. Oh, brother, are you right...
That's a good way to look at it. Moving and the psychology and the spirituality of moving are complicated things, but then again--not. Life sucks everywhere, so sometimes it's seriously better to have it suck somewhere new. I'm serious.
Moving is way too expensive to have the attitude that it will suck everywhere.
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