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Thank you for all the input. It's such a hard decision.
I know it's harder to make friends as an adult, though I'm helping by joining a church in SC it would help. Churches up here aren't quite as popular...
My other option is to move to a different part of SC to be closer to my dhs parents, that way we have some family nearby, though I'm not sure the area is as much our style (lots of retires)
Working from home will make it more difficult to make friends
Have you discussed with your kids
They may really be adverse
If the kids are on board with the move that, right there, is half the battle. We moved away from family when the kids were going into middle school and high school. It was a hard transition because they missed the friends that they had grown up with, they didn't want to move away from family and they wanted to stay in the security of the home that they had been born and raised in. I couldn't blame them because we felt the same way. It was a tough decision but ultimately I think it was a good decision for us to move to a way less liberal, lower cost of living area. It took some adjustment but the kids did adjust, quite well actually. Now this is home.
We would have money to visit our family up north every Christmas as we would be able to stay for free with family who have lots of extra room. We would likely also be able to afford visiting once every summer....so twice a year.
I'm not worried about schools, we use private schools up here and will continue to go private once we move, but thank you so much for the heads up.
I visit with my siblings now about 6-8 times a year, which would obviously decrease to 1-2 times a year. Luckily my kids are at an age where I don't really need babysitters or anything. We would also be closer to one set of grandparents who live in South Carolina. So that would only be a 3-4 hour drive.
It is such a touch decision because I know we wouldn't be able to change our minds and move back, my DH hates moving.
Well, really, yes you could. If you give it a few years and don’t like it, nothing is stopping you from moving again.
We moved to SC from MA when we retired. Looking back now, I wish we would of become snowbirds instead. I really miss the simple things of back home like....pizza and seafood. I never thought pizza would matter, but when the best you can find, is on the freezer shelf of your grocery store....it matters. LOL I miss lobster and steamers too. So many of the little things, that add up.
What's the worst that can happen? You move and find you don't like it. Then you move again. You said your husband hates moving, but if he found he didn't like the area would he really want to stay?
We moved to SC from MA when we retired. Looking back now, I wish we would of become snowbirds instead. I really miss the simple things of back home like....pizza and seafood. I never thought pizza would matter, but when the best you can find, is on the freezer shelf of your grocery store....it matters. LOL I miss lobster and steamers too. So many of the little things, that add up.
I really missed pastrami, bagels, pizza, and steamed clams when I move to Southeastern North Carolina in the 1980s.Why were they clamless? It's a coastal state. Lobster was hard to find. I couldn't find a frozen tail most of the time. Still no clams when we left in 1996.
This is probably not worth very much, but it has been my very casual and unscientific observation in reading dozens of these kinds of threads that if people are very close to their extended family, they almost invariably regret moving away from them. However, for people without that kind of closeness and who do what want they think would be better for them -- and if they have done as much research as possible (including actually spending time in their top "location possibilities" in every season before they list their existing home -- most of the time, most of those people are happy with their decision to move.
If the kids are on board with the move that, right there, is half the battle. We moved away from family when the kids were going into middle school and high school. It was a hard transition because they missed the friends that they had grown up with, they didn't want to move away from family and they wanted to stay in the security of the home that they had been born and raised in. I couldn't blame them because we felt the same way. It was a tough decision but ultimately I think it was a good decision for us to move to a way less liberal, lower cost of living area. It took some adjustment but the kids did adjust, quite well actually. Now this is home.
Nice post -- and I am very happy that it worked out well for all of you!
This is probably not worth very much, but it has been my very casual and unscientific observation in reading dozens of these kinds of threads that if people are very close to their extended family, they almost invariably regret moving away from them. However, for people without that kind of closeness and who do what want they think would be better for them -- and if they have done as much research as possible (including actually spending time in their top "location possibilities" in every season before they list their existing home -- most of the time, most of those people are happy with their decision to move.
Good luck!!
Yes, I agree. My sister and husband followed his career overseas for several years and when they returned they were still a long distance from our side of the family. 25 years later they slowed down and became available near one sibling on our side and at least closer to our side of the family geographically (but, not close, just closer (than say the Middle East)... They found out other people's lives did not stop because they left and other people were not going to adjust their lives now that they were back (they were met with a Big "So What" on both sides of the family which she admitted to me after some years). After another 20 years they have made some inroads with the family again; but, it took a very long time and it was not what it could have been.
There's a cost to leaving. I mean even if your family is the most mature, evolved and angelic in the world.
I'd argue it is better to downsize and save money right where you are at instead of pulling a "geographic." However, there's no doubt your first duty is to yourself and your immediate family. But, if it is just to pursue bigger, better, best for a lower cost it is unlikely to be worth it.
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