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I lived in the same AZ house for 22 years, 4 years longer than the home I grew up in. It was home but it never felt permanent. We’re lived in the new AL home since late 2020 and in my mind, it’s more home than anywhere else I’ve lived since 1976. I also have a 24x24 shop. I’ve never had the luxury of space and organization before! And a tractor. Never owned one before. As MrsK7 says, “It’s good to be Gerry.”
I haven't felt truly at home since we moved out of the apartment we lived in age 3 through 12. I got used to the places after that my family lived in, and some of them got pretty close to 'home', but as an adult out on my own I can't say I ever felt anywhere even close to 'home' anywhere I lived. In part because I knew it was always just temporary based on college or a job. I have no desire whatsoever to stay where I am now, and in fact it weighs on me every single day just a tiny bit that I haven't been able to move yet and don't have a concrete plan either - because it all depends on jobs.
I haven’t felt really grounded or truly at home since we left my childhood house when I was 20. They all feel temporary to me now. It’s not a good feeling because I don’t feel invested in them for maintenance, decorations, furniture, etc.
No place has felt like home since I left my parent’s house in NJ to go to college. And we’d only lived in that particular house 3 years and they moved to CA while I was in college. Later in life, when I visited them at any of their houses, I always felt like I was “home.” I’m 74 years old now and never walk through my door and feel like I’m home.
Now that you've moved, does your new home still feel temporary? Like you are just there for a short time and will be going HOME to the house you just moved from because that is still HOME?
Does that even make sense?
That makes 100% sense because I felt the same way. It took about a year for my current house to feel like home & not to miss the old house.
Well, in this particular subject, I have to wonder, was the move out from you last home calm and peaceful.........or was it something like my Operation: WHIRLWIND? Were things stable in the old home or was leaving it the step, however that step was pushed, to finally get things rolling to moving?
Now that you've moved, does your new home still feel temporary? Like you are just there for a short time and will be going HOME to the house you just moved from because that is still HOME?
I think I understand what OP was getting it. For me, there's a bit of imposter-home-syndrome I still feel, a full 2 years after buying it and moving in. Prior to owning this home, my wife and I rented in the same metro area but about 30 minutes away from where we are now. We loved the place, our landlord, our neighbors, AND we brought home our first child there where she spent the first 18 months. To this day, going back to the town and neighborhood where we rented still feels like I never left. I like our new town, but I've never felt like it was "home" or permanent. We also don't have family living terribly close, so I still think about what's next. And of course that leads to similar feelings that have already been expressed here - it can be hard to invest in certain cosmetic upgrades to the house, we've never fully furnished or decorated, we mentally kick the can down the road any time we think of major landscaping improvements that could be made, etc. The house is maintained and cared for, but I feel like I'm just stewarding it until the next owner comes along.
Until I get back to my roots and my home state, it will continue to feel (and be) temporary. If you've lived decades in one place, then go somewhere completely different, it's normal to be out-of-sync in an 'unnatural' location. I became deeply rooted with my previous location, and it's still in my blood, so to speak. I don't know if this kind of thing happens on a cosmic level or not, but something deep and intangible seems to be involved.
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