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I'm really torn about leaving NJ. I've lived here all my life and don't really know where I'd go. I just know that I'm tired of this area because it's so expensive and overcrowded up here. I'll never be able to buy a home here because real estate is out of control.
It's difficult to decide where I would want to go when I've only been on the east coast. I worry about leaving and finding a similar job, place to live, having a similar lifestyle. I've thought about Pennsylvania, Florida, California, Massachusetts but don't have so much money to just go traveling and looking at different places. I don't have family anywhere either.
how does one even begin to choose where to go?? I'm so confused and angry
I thought about moving south for several years. Before my big move, I prayed and research the area for over a year. Things did not pan out in my favor. The company I worked for had an office in Raleigh, but wanted to cut my salary by 30%. I interviewed at other places but my salary was a concern. I broadened my options and looked into Charlotte. I did everything on chance and faith. I used a network of business relationships to land a job in Charlotte. Once, I had my offer letter I flew to Clt and found an apartment within 4 hours. I was back in NYC the next day looking to pack. The things I knew about Clt was from new boss and a friend; they suggested areas in which I should live. I'm glad I made the right choice about where to live, school for DD and job. Charlotte is a beautiful place and I'm so happy to call this my home.
My closest family is at least 2 hours away. I have set up a new network of good friends--most from the north just like me. My only suggestion is to have enough money to live on for at least six months and don't move anywhere without a job.
Good luck! Moving is scary, but new things to unveil is worth the effort.
I agree with having a job lined up and a build up of money if possible. I am in a position like you, ready to leave MI. It's taken my and my wife almost 1 year to finally decide on Knoxville TN. We, like arussell, prayed and researched like crazy. I checked into all the possible cities where I could transfer to and stuck to those cities. We wanted better weather, lower taxes, a better economy in a more conservative backdrop with plenty for us and our kids to enjoy (amusement parks, zoo, aquaruim etc.). Ironically, Charlotte was also on that list.
Study City Data Forums big time, talk to people from areas you think you might like and ask them questions and look for previous threads already asking these questions. There are also other websites to figure out crime, weather, race, religion and whatever is important to you.
Try to arrange a trip to visit your top pick(s) before moving. Figure out where your career might prosper. Have fun with it, if not you'll just get stressed out.
Our moves were job-related, so we didn't just pick up and go to somewhere else and take a chance. However, the moves were not transfers - they were sought out new jobs because we wanted to move. Truly there's hardly anything worse than not being happy where you live.
I concur with TNKY to study City-Data to create a list of possibilities. When we got a job offer I used City-Data extensively to determine if the job's location was a yay or a nay.
I wouldn't discourage you from seeking a new direction in life, no not at all, but I'd secure a job first before making the move. Of course it all depends on what you do for work and whether you have a specific career or whether you're flexible. If you're in the hospitality industry for example, you could possibly just up and go to a big tourist destination (such as Orlando) and then find a job.
Other factors to consider are your age group and your lifestyle. Start looking at different parts of the country on City-Data forums and read different posts and, as well, read the statistics/demographics about different places. If you love to club or if you enjoy the solitude of nature, then certain locales would not suit you.
I will discourage you from feeling confused and angry though! Transform those feelings into a determination to take charge of yourself and find a new path. :-) As arussell said, "Good luck! Moving is scary, but new things to unveil is worth the effort." And TNKY suggested, "Have fun with it, if not you'll just get stressed out." I agree with both!
For me, thats where I would start. I would then do research on where those types of jobs are mostly located. If you do something even sort of specialized, this will benefit you to go where the jobs are. Like, as the person stated above , Charlotte is a banking mecca. If you work in banking, Charlotte should be easy to get a job in. I work in Call Center management, I moved to San Antonio because those types of jobs are plentiful here.
Next, I would look at the cost of living for where you want to go, in relation to the approximate salary you would be making there. I know in NJ the COL is really high, so, moving somewhere else may be way cheaper for you, which means more coin in your pocket. Here in Texas, rent is almost 50% less than it was in Virginia Beach, utilities are cheaper, groceries are cheaper, etc, so, I feel like I got a huge raise to move here.
Another aspect is weather. Do you want Jersey weather? Do you want warm? Cold? Hot? Snowy? Me personally, I hate snow and ice, so I like to live somewhere that is warm.
A biggie for me is traffic. I hate lots of traffic and a long commute. I am assuming in NJ you may have a hefty commute. In San Antonio, which is a huge city, I am literally 8 minutes from work, so that makes my life soooooo much easier, I get so much extra time in my day!
Just take your time, and do some research. Honestly, these forums are a godsend, just go through each states boards that you are interested in and do some reading.
I would find a good cost of living calculator online, and plug some numbers as well. It may be suprising for you.
Visit beforehand. That is the one thing that I never do, and I kick myself for it. I moved to San Antonio sight unseen for work, and got a nice apartment, but, its in a "not so good" area, I wish I would have taken the money work gave me and came on a trip to check it out beforehand. You can research all you want online, but, nothing is better for research than to see it with your own eyes.
I have moved out of state 3 times since I turned 20 (28 now), and each time is a new adventure. If you dont succeed the first time, you can always move again. The beauty is that I have friends in tons of states now!
If you ever need some help or advice, send me an email or a DM.
Thanks for the advice. I am actually a teacher so I don't know how difficult it is from state to state because you have to apply for certification.
I really hate hot weather all year round so that would probably exclude a lot of states down south. I'm already 32 and feel like I'm behind in life. I wouldn't even dream of having a child in this area where I live and possibly couldn't even afford to raise one here. My husband and I have about 28k saved at the moment. He wants to go into the funeral and cremation industry so we have to see where there are good opportunities for that as well.
For where to move... Texas is out if you hate hot. Ever thought of the Carolinas? Both are growing, so lots of new schools, etc. Also, lots of retirees in both states....so.... that helps your hubby!
Thank you for the web page... I'll check that out. Yes I guess a place with lots of schools and retirees would be ideal. We're also looking for a place where there is a good alternative night life.
So far I see that Denver and Portland are looking attractive.
Raven, you don't say where in Jersey you live. I'm assuming you are in Central or northern Jersey. Please. before you give up on NJ check out south Jersey. Now when I say south I mean anything south and southwest of Atlantic City. There are some great areas there and you are still withing a few hours of every thing you know.
As for me, I'm from Cape May (exit 0). I have lived up and down the east coast and southern most Jersey has many places beat. I loved living in Charleston and Savannah and Wilmington, NC and Yorktown, VA and on and on. BUT, as wonderful as those places were they weren't my home state. As much as Jersey is the butt of many jokes, we that were born and raised there can never get enough, especially those of us that grew up near the beach. Oh, and those taxes? They are nowhere as bad.
And think...you wouldn't have to bother with changing certification.
Many people are moving out of NJ for a variety of reasons, but high cost and corruption are high on the lists. I lived in NJ my entire life but had enough with high taxes, crowding, traffic, corruption, etc. I considered South Jersey, but couldn't handle the GS Parkway and summer crowds. We ended up moving upstate NY (Saratoga area) and are very happy. The only things I miss about NJ is Costco and Shop-Rite.
I suggest your research various areas (comments on city-data can be helpful) and your first priority would be finding employment and cost of living. Good luck! Many of our friends have left Jersey also. It's sad, but it has only worsened in recent years.
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