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I think every single metro in the country has absorbed smaller cities which were actual cities in their own right.
I think most of these cities do still hold their character.
Galveston is now part of Houston but it used to be the biggest city in Texas. It still has its own charm. There are other small interesting towns in Houston Metro such as Old Town Spring.
Washington DC: Georgetown, Alexandria, Bladensburg (all of them actually older than DC), Tenallytown
Houston: Galveston (which was once the biggest city in TX)
To that end. In 1780 5 areas around CC Philadelphia (including CC) were among the 15 most populated cities in America (Philadelphia, Northern Liberies, Southwark, Spring Garden, and what is today University City) now are really the core - today these neighborhoods hold a little over 230K in 5.1 sq miles)
Also for Philly on top of Camden and Wilmington both Reading and Trenton may be back in the MSA with the 2010 data.
NYC has a ton - JC, Newark (many other mid sized NJ cities), and many CT small cities plus all the boroughs
I think Everett, WA used to be its own city, and now Seattle's urban area extends beyond Everett.
Everett has its own city area, industry, its own daily newspaper, and it feels detached enough from Seattle to not feel like it's simply a suburb of Seattle. But the southbound commuting has always been going on and has accelerated a lot over the past 10 years.
Have these cities completely lost their identities?
Not only have they not "completely lost their identities," I would say nearly all of these cities have retained pretty strong identities. Of those you listed:
- Newark - largest city and largest newspaper in NJ (the 11th most populous state in the US), home of Prudential
- Elizabeth - more likely in Newark's shadow than NYs
- Milwaukee - come on, now: airport; port; dominant city and media center for an entire state; home of Harley Davidson, Mid-West Airlines and Johnson Controls; MLB and NBA teams
- Ft Lauderdale - world famous beach, own airport, over 10M visitors per year
- Wilmington - largest city and media center of DE, home of DuPont, port, major baking center
- Trenton - capital of NJ, not even in Philly's MSA
- Ft Worth - another "come on": 16th largest city in the country and growing
Of the others, Camden is almost literally in Philly's shadow and Norristown is just a suburb of some 35K folks. (You would actually classify Norristown and Ft Worth the same? ) Don't have sufficient knowledge of Yonkers and Long Beach to comment.
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Jersey City has a much more obvious city look to it then Newark IMO. But yet it's pretty absorbed by both of them.
I don't think Milwaukee has been absorbed by Chicago YET, but it looks like maybe in the future.
Brooklyn was a huge city by itself but it got absorbed by NYC.
Northern Liberties Township, Pennsylvania - It's been part of Philadelphia since 1854, but was apparently once listed as the sixth largest USA city.
Brooklyn - The third largest US city from 1860 to 1880, annexed in 1898.
Benicia, California - Capital of the state for about a year, now a suburb of San-Francisco/Oakland.
Jonesborough, Tennessee - I think I read it's like the oldest town in Tennessee and was a center of Unionist/Abolitionist sentiment in East Tennessee. It's now in the Johnson City metro, but was founded six or more decades before it.
I disagree with Milwaukee being sucked into Chicago Metro area. But the cities of Joliet, Aurora, Elgin and Waukegan fall into that category. Rockford is close to being that way. Atlantic City is becoming that way with Philadelphia.
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