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Don't have time to read the whole thread. Moved to Louisville in August of last year. Been to other parts of Kentucky too. And Southern Indiana. And the Gulf Coast. Kentucky and Southern Indiana are southern and midwestern in many ways, but definitely southern mostly.
I'm from Los Angeles and my family is Jewish New Yorkers. There's no secrets with us. If we don't like you, you know it. If I care about how you are, I'll ask. If you say "Hi, how are you?" and I respond "Good", then it's clear I don't like you and I don't care.
I've already had so many people that I thought were my friends turn out to be huge s*** talkers behind my back. I've never had that problem in CA. I always knew who disliked me. Except the hippie POSs from like rural Oregon and hipster Seattle. In LA, I know exactly who's my friend and who's not. In Louisville, I find out from other friends.
NoLa was the only real "southern hospitality" I ever encountered...so far. It might exist other places, but not Kentucky.
Oh and that whole "I hate gays and liberals and Muslims and Jews and etc., etc., etc.,". Yeah, that's not very friendly
Don't have time to read the whole thread. Moved to Louisville in August of last year. Been to other parts of Kentucky too. And Southern Indiana. And the Gulf Coast. Kentucky and Southern Indiana are southern and midwestern in many ways, but definitely southern mostly.
I'm from Los Angeles and my family is Jewish New Yorkers. There's no secrets with us. If we don't like you, you know it. If I care about how you are, I'll ask. If you say "Hi, how are you?" and I respond "Good", then it's clear I don't like you and I don't care.
I've already had so many people that I thought were my friends turn out to be huge s*** talkers behind my back. I've never had that problem in CA. I always knew who disliked me. Except the hippie POSs from like rural Oregon and hipster Seattle. In LA, I know exactly who's my friend and who's not. In Louisville, I find out from other friends.
NoLa was the only real "southern hospitality" I ever encountered...so far. It might exist other places, but not Kentucky.
Oh and that whole "I hate gays and liberals and Muslims and Jews and etc., etc., etc.,". Yeah, that's not very friendly
I think the "fake friendly" behavior is most prevalent in the South, West Coast and Upper Midwest. Basically anywhere where you aren't allowed socially to say blunt truths, this behavior will crop up.
My life has been completely destroyed because of this "fake friendly" crap. The thing I despise above all else are liars. What the Southerners don't realize is being fake is a lie. Acting is lying. When you "act" nice & friendly to somebody's face it's just an "act" & acting or pretending is deceiving or lying. You're not being friendly, polite, or tactful, you're being a liar! And everybody hates liars! Honest people hate liars & liars hate liars!
When you're only acting "friendly" you slip up. In a conversation you'll agree to do things. I've had guys down here tell me they'd take me scuba diving, swimming & water skiing. One of the guys in my church said he'd take me around the lake a few times on his boat. But they're not real. They're only blowing sunshine up your ass. They have absolutely no intention of ever doing what they say. They never follow through on anything. Their words are completely hollow. You cannot count on a Southerner. The only thing you can count on is they'll worm their way out of everything they don't want to do by simply saying "oh, I'm sorry! I forgot!" They're not sorry & they didn't forget, they are a LIAR plain & simple! In the beginning I made he mistake of believing them. Needless to say I still have never been water skiing once in my entire life. I was really looking forward to it. But it was just another lie. Those conversations were a complete waste of time. I got nothing out of it but disappointment. And now because of being constantly lied to I have an unGodly bitter hatred towards Southerners. The bible tells us to hate what is bad & lying is the very first thing Satan did. Lying is more Satanic & evil than murder or rape. And all these Southerners here in the "BIBLE BELT" are the biggest liars the world will ever see. That's the joke or the punchline to the whole "BIBLE BELT" thing. The bible belt people are more Satanic than anybody because every time they do that phony fake nice act they're lying. They say they follow Jesus & then lie like Satan. CONSTANTLY! EVERY DAY! Then showing their fake phony face in church once or twice a week makes them sleep better at night.
And when you say "Hi! How are you?" when you couldn't care less how they are, isn't that lying too? "Acting" like you care when you really don't? The people at my church do that every single day. Say they follow Jesus while doing as Satan does.
"Friendly" is when you try to build & friendship. Back up North you talk to somebody in a store or the bank or the doctor's office & if you see that you have things in common you exchange phone numbers or email addresses & both parties work towards cultivating a friendship. You call them up & invite them to go hang out. You take an interest in them & want to learn about them & get to know them & build a friendship. Southerners NEVER EVER do this! Whenever you talk to a Southerner they'll talk your ear off for an hour but the conversation always ends the same. They say "well, it was good talkin to ya! C'ya later!" & they go their separate way. I've been down South over 20 years, I'm very friendly & I talk to tons of people. But I've never once had a person say "hey, let me get your phone number & I'll give you a call & we'll go do something" and actually call you like they used to always do back up North.
I've been suffering through this for over 20 years. It's like a disease. People act like your best friend to your face but they really don't want anything to do with you. And then you end up alone, isolated, depressed & left wondering what you did or said wrong. When in fact you didn't do anything wrong. The thing that I value more than anything is a straight shooter. Hardcore, NO BS, in your face honesty. I love people that know how to "keep it real". And I just found out what the problem is. I always hear Southerners complain that Northerners are "rude". This has been puzzling me for the past 20 years. All the Northerners I've met are very friendly. Northerners will talk your ear off especially when we start talking about how much we hate the "fake friendly", cold, apathetic & totally anti-social Southerners. And here's the thing, The Southerners mix up the word "rude" with "blunt". Southerners don't like honesty. PERIOD! If you're blunt or straight to the point like I am there's your problem. 1 honest person surrounded by a million liars is not going to fare too well. You're a fish out of water, you're in a toxic environment & you cannot survive. It's funny, all these years I thought people liked me & valued straight brutal honesty. The thing that I would say is my best & strongest quality is the thing millions of people hate about me. But they wouldn't tell me. They don't want to hurt my feelings so letting me suffer in a cold isolated shunned hell nightmare is much more humane.
And an even worse problem I've encountered is when Southerners tell me they like me because I'm honest, they know where they stand with me & they can trust me. You'd think this would be a good thing & a huge compliment but instead it's the ultimate insult. This is the biggest kick to the nuts because it's not a two way street. I had a friend that was the worst pathological liar you could ever meet. We'd be driving up to the movie theater & he'd be on the phone with his mother telling her he's still in work & his shift didn't end for another couple hours. I was thinking "hell, if he can lie to his own mother with a straight face like that then I can't trust a single word he says." And I was right, I caught him in one lie after another. One day he says "you know what I like about you? You're honest! I know I can completely trust you. And you can't find people like that anymore." So I'm sitting there thinking "yeah, you can't find honest people anymore because they're all like you!". So he benefits from my honesty & what do I get in return? A lying sack of **** that I can't trust at all! Oh that's just great! Either way my honesty is a life destroyer down here in the South.
Financially I'm trapped here. I have a severe sleep disorder, sleep apnea & heart problems. I'm trying to get on disability. I want more than anything to move back up North but right now I just don't see any way. I always wanted to settle in upstate NY. Maybe I'll escape the South someday but for now I've learned 1 important rule. Avoid Southerners like the plague! I keep to myself & stay away from the Southern liars. I've learned my lessons the hard way. I'm an only child & my parents both died recently. I'm completely alone, no family & I ditched all my so-called "friends" because they couldn't be trusted.
I'm asked "how are you?" every single day by pretty much every person I run into. There are billions of humans on this planet but not 1 single living soul that actually gives a rat's ass how I am. And why is it that I suffer from severe depression? I can't imagine why!?! Do the Southerners ever think about how their fake, phony BS negatively affects people? Do the "bible belt" people ever think about how lying constantly is born from Satan not God. And how it destroys lives? No because that brings us to the next huge problem with the South. APATHY! The Southerners do not care about anything but money & "their own". Total, complete, stone cold apathy! But that's a topic for another discussion.
Dragonforged
Speaking candidly, you have a problem and I ain't lying.
My life has been completely destroyed because of this "fake friendly" crap. The thing I despise above all else are liars. What the Southerners don't realize is being fake is a lie. Acting is lying. When you "act" nice & friendly to somebody's face it's just an "act" & acting or pretending is deceiving or lying. You're not being friendly, polite, or tactful, you're being a liar! And everybody hates liars! Honest people hate liars & liars hate liars!
When you're only acting "friendly" you slip up. In a conversation you'll agree to do things. I've had guys down here tell me they'd take me scuba diving, swimming & water skiing. One of the guys in my church said he'd take me around the lake a few times on his boat. But they're not real. They're only blowing sunshine up your ass. They have absolutely no intention of ever doing what they say. They never follow through on anything. Their words are completely hollow. You cannot count on a Southerner. The only thing you can count on is they'll worm their way out of everything they don't want to do by simply saying "oh, I'm sorry! I forgot!" They're not sorry & they didn't forget, they are a LIAR plain & simple! In the beginning I made he mistake of believing them. Needless to say I still have never been water skiing once in my entire life. I was really looking forward to it. But it was just another lie. Those conversations were a complete waste of time. I got nothing out of it but disappointment. And now because of being constantly lied to I have an unGodly bitter hatred towards Southerners. The bible tells us to hate what is bad & lying is the very first thing Satan did. Lying is more Satanic & evil than murder or rape. And all these Southerners here in the "BIBLE BELT" are the biggest liars the world will ever see. That's the joke or the punchline to the whole "BIBLE BELT" thing. The bible belt people are more Satanic than anybody because every time they do that phony fake nice act they're lying. They say they follow Jesus & then lie like Satan. CONSTANTLY! EVERY DAY! Then showing their fake phony face in church once or twice a week makes them sleep better at night.
And when you say "Hi! How are you?" when you couldn't care less how they are, isn't that lying too? "Acting" like you care when you really don't? The people at my church do that every single day. Say they follow Jesus while doing as Satan does.
"Friendly" is when you try to build & friendship. Back up North you talk to somebody in a store or the bank or the doctor's office & if you see that you have things in common you exchange phone numbers or email addresses & both parties work towards cultivating a friendship. You call them up & invite them to go hang out. You take an interest in them & want to learn about them & get to know them & build a friendship. Southerners NEVER EVER do this! Whenever you talk to a Southerner they'll talk your ear off for an hour but the conversation always ends the same. They say "well, it was good talkin to ya! C'ya later!" & they go their separate way. I've been down South over 20 years, I'm very friendly & I talk to tons of people. But I've never once had a person say "hey, let me get your phone number & I'll give you a call & we'll go do something" and actually call you like they used to always do back up North.
I've been suffering through this for over 20 years. It's like a disease. People act like your best friend to your face but they really don't want anything to do with you. And then you end up alone, isolated, depressed & left wondering what you did or said wrong. When in fact you didn't do anything wrong. The thing that I value more than anything is a straight shooter. Hardcore, NO BS, in your face honesty. I love people that know how to "keep it real". And I just found out what the problem is. I always hear Southerners complain that Northerners are "rude". This has been puzzling me for the past 20 years. All the Northerners I've met are very friendly. Northerners will talk your ear off especially when we start talking about how much we hate the "fake friendly", cold, apathetic & totally anti-social Southerners. And here's the thing, The Southerners mix up the word "rude" with "blunt". Southerners don't like honesty. PERIOD! If you're blunt or straight to the point like I am there's your problem. 1 honest person surrounded by a million liars is not going to fare too well. You're a fish out of water, you're in a toxic environment & you cannot survive. It's funny, all these years I thought people liked me & valued straight brutal honesty. The thing that I would say is my best & strongest quality is the thing millions of people hate about me. But they wouldn't tell me. They don't want to hurt my feelings so letting me suffer in a cold isolated shunned hell nightmare is much more humane.
And an even worse problem I've encountered is when Southerners tell me they like me because I'm honest, they know where they stand with me & they can trust me. You'd think this would be a good thing & a huge compliment but instead it's the ultimate insult. This is the biggest kick to the nuts because it's not a two way street. I had a friend that was the worst pathological liar you could ever meet. We'd be driving up to the movie theater & he'd be on the phone with his mother telling her he's still in work & his shift didn't end for another couple hours. I was thinking "hell, if he can lie to his own mother with a straight face like that then I can't trust a single word he says." And I was right, I caught him in one lie after another. One day he says "you know what I like about you? You're honest! I know I can completely trust you. And you can't find people like that anymore." So I'm sitting there thinking "yeah, you can't find honest people anymore because they're all like you!". So he benefits from my honesty & what do I get in return? A lying sack of **** that I can't trust at all! Oh that's just great! Either way my honesty is a life destroyer down here in the South.
Financially I'm trapped here. I have a severe sleep disorder, sleep apnea & heart problems. I'm trying to get on disability. I want more than anything to move back up North but right now I just don't see any way. I always wanted to settle in upstate NY. Maybe I'll escape the South someday but for now I've learned 1 important rule. Avoid Southerners like the plague! I keep to myself & stay away from the Southern liars. I've learned my lessons the hard way. I'm an only child & my parents both died recently. I'm completely alone, no family & I ditched all my so-called "friends" because they couldn't be trusted.
I'm asked "how are you?" every single day by pretty much every person I run into. There are billions of humans on this planet but not 1 single living soul that actually gives a rat's ass how I am. And why is it that I suffer from severe depression? I can't imagine why!?! Do the Southerners ever think about how their fake, phony BS negatively affects people? Do the "bible belt" people ever think about how lying constantly is born from Satan not God. And how it destroys lives? No because that brings us to the next huge problem with the South. APATHY! The Southerners do not care about anything but money & "their own". Total, complete, stone cold apathy! But that's a topic for another discussion.
When you start farting and burping in public and telling everyone you're just "being real," come back and let us know how that works for you.
How often do you reach out in genuine friendship and concern and affection for all these casual acquaintances in your life? My life experience has taught me that when I pay it forward, it comes back to me tenfold.
I really really hope things work out for you and you can move back up north where everyone is so helpful and kind hearted.
You can try to defend it all you want but there is no excuse for agreeing to something with no intention of actually following through. I don't care if you're from the North, South or another planet. Saying you're going to do something with no intention of actually doing it is just plain stupid & it doesn't benefit either party. It's a waste of time for both sides. And it might be really important to the person & you just screwed them over if they were counting on you to keep your word. So why do Southerners do that constantly? Is it some sort of weird game?
If you can give me a logical explanation why the Southerners agree to anything you say & blow sunshine up your butt I would really appreciate it. What's the point?
I had a friend that would agree with everything I said. It felt really weird / fake / unnatural because nobody agrees 100% with anybody. After a few years I found out that he agreed with everything I said when he was with me, then he went to another friend of ours & told him the exact opposite story. The story I got from this other friend was that he couldn't stand to be around me & pretty much disagreed with everything I said. Totally crapped all over me behind my back.
And that's what the Southerners do. It serves no purpose whatsoever! Why say YES when you really mean NO? It has nothing to do with "hospitality" or being "friendly".
Now's your chance to set the record straight. Everybody is watching! Go ahead & try to explain this one!
How about maybe, just maybe they agree with you to get you to go away? If you are that bad at reading people that your 'friends' do nothing but lie to you (and you think that this is a southern trait) I think you might be difficult to be around, let alone be able to make or sustain real friends.
You can try to defend it all you want but there is no excuse for agreeing to something with no intention of actually following through. I don't care if you're from the North, South or another planet. Saying you're going to do something with no intention of actually doing it is just plain stupid & it doesn't benefit either party. It's a waste of time for both sides. And it might be really important to the person & you just screwed them over if they were counting on you to keep your word. So why do Southerners do that constantly? Is it some sort of weird game?
If you can give me a logical explanation why the Southerners agree to anything you say & blow sunshine up your butt I would really appreciate it. What's the point?
I had a friend that would agree with everything I said. It felt really weird / fake / unnatural because nobody agrees 100% with anybody. After a few years I found out that he agreed with everything I said when he was with me, then he went to another friend of ours & told him the exact opposite story. The story I got from this other friend was that he couldn't stand to be around me & pretty much disagreed with everything I said. Totally crapped all over me behind my back.
And that's what the Southerners do. It serves no purpose whatsoever! Why say YES when you really mean NO? It has nothing to do with "hospitality" or being "friendly".
Now's your chance to set the record straight. Everybody is watching! Go ahead & try to explain this one!
No problem.
You're hanging out with goobers. Goobers live in every region of the US. In fact, goobers tend to attract goobers.
I live in the South and you know how many of my southern friends act like the people you're describing?
I kinda see where he's coming from. In Los Angeles, I've never been stood up on a date. Usually we'll text each other like "okay I'm leaving in a minute I'll see you there" and if they don't reply, I don't leave. That way I don't get stood up. In Louisville, though, your date will say "yeah I'll be there in 10 minutes! Already on my way!" Then 20 minutes later they're still not there and you never hear from them ever again. I've lived in many cities around the world and that has ONLY happened in Louisville. Nowhere else.
I kinda see where he's coming from. In Los Angeles, I've never been stood up on a date. Usually we'll text each other like "okay I'm leaving in a minute I'll see you there" and if they don't reply, I don't leave. That way I don't get stood up. In Louisville, though, your date will say "yeah I'll be there in 10 minutes! Already on my way!" Then 20 minutes later they're still not there and you never hear from them ever again. I've lived in many cities around the world and that has ONLY happened in Louisville. Nowhere else.
Interesting. I've lived in the South for probably 40 years and dated I can't even recall how many southerners and never had this happen to me.
I kinda see where he's coming from. In Los Angeles, I've never been stood up on a date. Usually we'll text each other like "okay I'm leaving in a minute I'll see you there" and if they don't reply, I don't leave. That way I don't get stood up. In Louisville, though, your date will say "yeah I'll be there in 10 minutes! Already on my way!" Then 20 minutes later they're still not there and you never hear from them ever again. I've lived in many cities around the world and that has ONLY happened in Louisville. Nowhere else.
Come on man....one date and you will generalize a metro area of 1.4 million? And then paint a broader brush and say the south, a region of I dunno, 100 million? as an area like that? I sort of see what you are saying and that sucks, but it could have happened anywhere. How do you even know the girl was FROM Louisville or even if it was a gal at all if this was online?
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