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In Raleigh, people actually greet each other either verbally and/or visually on the sidewalk, waving from cars, etc. It's sometimes disconcerting to newbies. They wonder why people are smiling, nodding, making friendly guestures or, God forbid, actually saying hi to someone they don't know.
Why would I want to get to know some random person I see at the store? Wanting to know someone is usually based on some sort of commonality. You meet as strangers because you are doing something in common and small talk happens naturally. If the interactions build and multiply to each others enjoyment, then the relationship moves to the next level. It doesn't happen by saying hello to everyone who crosses your path. Even if someone smile authentically at me, it is not a basis for chit chat. I'd smile back and go on my way.
Some people are just curious about their fellow human beings, some simply love people. Some people don't need any real reason such as a commonality or goal...
I lived in a big city many years ago and felt kind of lonely. People there are like having a fence around them, especially ever since the walkman was invented, not to mention the iPod and cell phone later on.
By the way, one might say two people walking on the same sidewalk at the same time IS a commonality
In Raleigh, people actually greet each other either verbally and/or visually on the sidewalk, waving from cars, etc. It's sometimes disconcerting to newbies. They wonder why people are smiling, nodding, making friendly guestures or, God forbid, actually saying hi to someone they don't know.
In Raleigh, people actually greet each other either verbally and/or visually on the sidewalk, waving from cars, etc. It's sometimes disconcerting to newbies. They wonder why people are smiling, nodding, making friendly guestures or, God forbid, actually saying hi to someone they don't know.
God, that sounds exhausting. Does that mean that if you are walking with a friend you would be unable to have a conversation because you both have to greet EVERYONE who walks or drives by? I would be creeped out if people here in Portland did that.
I don't know anywhere that it is the custom to greet every person that you pass, but in smaller towns (especially in the south) it is much more common to acknowledge passersby with a wave, smile or nod of the head.
Also, the more crowded the specific place, the less common this is and the less crowded the specific plan the more common it is to acknowledge people. For instance if I were at a festival in a small town with hundreds or thousands of other people I wouldn't do anything, but if I were walking in a residential neighborhood in a big city (say Atlanta or DC) and I passed another person I would usually smile and acknowledge them.
In my neighborhood I tend to wave at almost every person who walks or drives past and they do the same with me. If we are both walking we will usually say hi.
God, that sounds exhausting. Does that mean that if you are walking with a friend you would be unable to have a conversation because you both have to greet EVERYONE who walks or drives by? I would be creeped out if people here in Portland did that.
Why do you keep insisting on EVERYONE?
For instance when there is a crowd, naturally one doesn't greet all the individuals. If the crowd is idle and looks your way you might nod and smile to all of them collectively.
Three is no mathematical formula as to whom to greet. After some time you just get a feeling for it...
I'm intrigued by this in somewhat opposite way than many of you. I've only ever lived in towns with less than a 1,000 people. Although I wouldn't say they always greet strangers someone doing that wouldn't be odd or alarming. I think I was seen as a bit stuck-up because I didn't always greet people. It was more I was off in my own little world, well probably. Maybe I was also a little stuck-up.
Although I seem to recall being told on trips "we're going to the city now and city people don't want you smiling or looking at them." Thinking on it I don't believe I thought bad of them for that though, just that it was "their way" and all.
I think such simple gestures can be very positive for society. When you greet and smile at a stranger in a sincere way, they know you are no threat, but instead literally acknowledge their presence in society, their being your fellow human being. When you treat people like objects, you might draw more aggression from some of them as you mean nothing to them. That might play a role with criminals. Assuming criminals are overwhelmingly not psychopaths, they might feel more empathy and sympathy with a person who is friendly towards them.
That being said I do remember being weirded out when complete strangers wanted to touch me or have a conversation. So if a stranger came up and hugged me, pinched my cheek, or asked me what I think of the economy that might make me think "what's with you?" My Mom though, despite the advice she gave me on "city people", would sometimes get in conversations with such people. (Having a rare disorder strangers sometimes come up to me to ask questions or make comparisons with their relative who shares the disorder) So anyway she'd start talking to said people so I would think "oh I guess she knows them" and then when they parted I'd ask her "So who was that man?" and she'd tell me "I have no idea, never seen him before today." I admit that struck me as weird.
I'm trusting that's a different kind of thing though. The question not being "where is it normal for people to hug complete strangers or get into deep conversations with them?"
For instance when there is a crowd, naturally one doesn't greet all the individuals. If the crowd is idle and looks your way you might nod and smile to all of them collectively.
Three is no mathematical formula as to whom to greet. After some time you just get a feeling for it...
Because in your original post you asked about total strangers greeting each other. When I was in the store yesterday, EVERYONE was a total stranger. Are you saying that you greet some and not others? How do you decide?
As I've said before, you will not find what you are looking for in most of the US if you expect constant acknowledgement from strangers.
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