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I hope this thread comes across in the best light possible because I mean nothing derogatory by it.
I am on a quest to visit (not just drive through) every county in the USA. It's a quest that will surely take a lifetime, and one that my first cousin 3 times removed completed entirely, and who currently serves as my inspiration. I love this country and I love seeing every corner of it. I am excited to travel anywhere, even Hodunkville, IL. There's beauty all over this country, and much of it is off the beaten path.
However, I am having trouble reconciling my love of seeing this country with the constant news I hear and see of areas of this country, particularly the South, where intolerance comes alive. I am gay, and I travel frequently with my fiance, as well as liberal minded (I'm a graduate student at a Big Ten university). I want to travel to the rural counties of Mississippi, for example, but I find myself both worried of potential intolerance, and angry at the residents of such communities who promote such intolerance, such as for example Starkville, MS, where they just repealed an anti LGBT discrimination ordinance. This can extend to all sorts of intolerance against race, gender, etc. I don't want this to sound like I'm slighting anybody in the South (or even in other states such as Idaho or Utah), but I want to ask your advice on how to reconcile these sorts of preconceived notions of intolerance, along with the reality of their existence, and my love and desire to see every inch of this great country.
If you want to see every county in the US, you probably won't be staying too long anywhere. I doubt very seriously that people will get to know much about your personal life or your beliefs as you pass through, unless you're on some sort of flamboyant mission (and don't read too much into that phrase). For example - wearing T shirts that exclaim your political views (I don't like those from any camp) or that are derogatory or intentionally offensive to some people (I also don't like those from any camp) or if you go around striking up intense conversation about gay marriage or abortion or gun rights or Obama (or any other polarizing topic) with complete strangers.
As for traveling with your fiance, there are many gay couples - and gay singles - throughout the South - and they're not living in fear and trembling. I wouldn't worry about it, any more than I would worry about being a "gringo" and driving through the border counties of Texas, or being a conservative driving through a very liberal part of the country, or a county that voted overwhelmingly Democrat in the last election.
What I would do in that case is what I always do - I'd be friendly and polite and I would try not to offend anyone unnecessarily - even if that meant smiling benignly when they started talking smack about Republicans. I don't feel any sort of compulsion to parade my beliefs and values to the general public (except for when it comes to NFL football, that is!).
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions - anywhere, but ESPECIALLY where they have chosen to build their lives and raise their families, pay their taxes and vote based on their own belief system.
I recently travelled through various parts of the South with some LGBT people, and no one really gave us any crap. About the only thing that happened is that when we asked people about places to eat, they kept directing us to restaurants that played techno music.
If you want to see every county in the US, you probably won't be staying too long anywhere. I doubt very seriously that people will get to know much about your personal life or your beliefs as you pass through, unless you're on some sort of flamboyant mission (and don't read too much into that phrase). For example - wearing T shirts that exclaim your political views (I don't like those from any camp) or that are derogatory or intentionally offensive to some people (I also don't like those from any camp) or if you go around striking up intense conversation about gay marriage or abortion or gun rights or Obama (or any other polarizing topic) with complete strangers.
As for traveling with your fiance, there are many gay couples - and gay singles - throughout the South - and they're not living in fear and trembling. I wouldn't worry about it, any more than I would worry about being a "gringo" and driving through the border counties of Texas, or being a conservative driving through a very liberal part of the country, or a county that voted overwhelmingly Democrat in the last election.
What I would do in that case is what I always do - I'd be friendly and polite and I would try not to offend anyone unnecessarily - even if that meant smiling benignly when they started talking smack about Republicans. I don't feel any sort of compulsion to parade my beliefs and values to the general public (except for when it comes to NFL football, that is!).
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions - anywhere, but ESPECIALLY where they have chosen to build their lives and raise their families, pay their taxes and vote based on their own belief system.
Yes, of course I consider political beliefs, however sincerely held, to belong to the private domain, so I never make a point of making it known. Of course that can happen when two men try to book a single occupancy room, but nothing else would really reveal it.
I don't stay long wherever I go. I have been pleasantly surprised however by the South. Charleston is among my favourite US cities I have so far visited.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dxdtdemon
I recently travelled through various parts of the South with some LGBT people, and no one really gave us any crap. About the only thing that happened is that when we asked people about places to eat, they kept directing us to restaurants that played techno music.
Yes, of course I consider political beliefs, however sincerely held, to belong to the private domain, so I never make a point of making it known. Of course that can happen when two men try to book a single occupancy room, but nothing else would really reveal it.
I don't stay long wherever I go. I have been pleasantly surprised however by the South. Charleston is among my favourite US cities I have so far visited.
I'm glad to hear it. And that is funny.
I would be shocked if you had any sort of problem traveling with your partner through the south. Have a fun trip!
I hope this thread comes across in the best light possible because I mean nothing derogatory by it.
I am on a quest to visit (not just drive through) every county in the USA. It's a quest that will surely take a lifetime, and one that my first cousin 3 times removed completed entirely, and who currently serves as my inspiration. I love this country and I love seeing every corner of it. I am excited to travel anywhere, even Hodunkville, IL. There's beauty all over this country, and much of it is off the beaten path.
However, I am having trouble reconciling my love of seeing this country with the constant news I hear and see of areas of this country, particularly the South, where intolerance comes alive. I am gay, and I travel frequently with my fiance, as well as liberal minded (I'm a graduate student at a Big Ten university). I want to travel to the rural counties of Mississippi, for example, but I find myself both worried of potential intolerance, and angry at the residents of such communities who promote such intolerance, such as for example Starkville, MS, where they just repealed an anti LGBT discrimination ordinance. This can extend to all sorts of intolerance against race, gender, etc. I don't want this to sound like I'm slighting anybody in the South (or even in other states such as Idaho or Utah), but I want to ask your advice on how to reconcile these sorts of preconceived notions of intolerance, along with the reality of their existence, and my love and desire to see every inch of this great country.
Thank you.
Of course it's derogatory because you think we're a bunch of backward hillbillies who are going to pelt you with rocks and gibber insults because of your sexual preference. It kind of ticks me off. No, not even kind of. What? Did you watch a In The Heat Of The Night marathon on Nick At Nite or something? I mean, is the entirety of New Jersey like something out of Goodfellas? Does everybody in Minnesota act like something out Fargo?
I guess that's what I'm trying ask. Why do people who claim to be enlightened cling to such lazy stereotypes? Your pleasant surprise at being treated like a decent human being in South Carolina is nothing more than an insult wrapped in a back-handed compliment. It would be akin to my traveling to Manhattan and complimenting the population there for not behaving like a bunch of rude, self-entitled pr*cks. Because they aren't that way in the first place. You're praising them for not behaving like the cast of characters from a B movie.
Look, let's not pretend here. Unless you travel to New York or San Francisco or Vermont some other similar enclave of alleged progressive thinking, you will occasionally encounter this same kind of treatment. Even in those places, you'll get some crank who doesn't realize times have changed for the South does not have the corner on that kind of prejudice. Nowhere close. In fact, I can pretty much go to any city in the Union and round up a passel of knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing bigots.
The short answer? The large majority of Southerners just don't care. And the few that do won't be much different that those who react to you wherever you are right now. Here you go:
Of course it's derogatory because you think we're a bunch of backward hillbillies who are going to pelt you with rocks and gibber insults because of your sexual preference. It kind of ticks me off. No, not even kind of. What? Did you watch a In The Heat Of The Night marathon on Nick At Nite or something? I mean, is the entirety of New Jersey like something out of Goodfellas? Does everybody in Minnesota act like something out Fargo?
I guess that's what I'm trying ask. Why do people who claim to be enlightened cling to such lazy stereotypes? Your pleasant surprise at being treated like a decent human being in South Carolina is nothing more than an insult wrapped in a back-handed compliment. It would be akin to my traveling to Manhattan and complimenting the population there for not behaving like a bunch of rude, self-entitled pr*cks. Because they aren't that way in the first place. You're praising them for not behaving like the cast of characters from a B movie.
Look, let's not pretend here. Unless you travel to New York or San Francisco or Vermont some other similar enclave of alleged progressive thinking, you will occasionally encounter this same kind of treatment. Even in those places, you'll get some crank who doesn't realize times have changed for the South does not have the corner on that kind of prejudice. Nowhere close. In fact, I can pretty much go to any city in the Union and round up a passel of knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing bigots.
The short answer? The large majority of Southerners just don't care. And the few that do won't be much different that those who react to you wherever you are right now. Here you go:
By the way, it looks as if gay marriage will be legal in Alabama inside of the next couple of weeks.
You're right, it is nothing but preconceived prejudices, probably born out of my Northern raising. I apologize if the Charleston comment sounded superficial.
I understand that people are decent human beings, and prejudices are not restrained to one area. This was a legitimate concern I had only about the rural counties of Southern states (and Mormon heavy states), not even the bigger cities. I will reconcile it by traveling there myself, and perhaps then I will have a proper consensus. Perhaps I will make my next big trip one to a very rural part of the South, and take it from there.
I am gay as well. I am single so can't speak of the relationship aspects of things...but I think it will all be ok. I never had any big issues dating my ex boyfriend he was from a small town 30 minutes from me in Arkansas and I live in southern Missouri. The only thing I would be cautious about is making any kind of displays of affection in public. It is sadly still that way in most places in the south. I am talking about even holding hands. At least here we would never have done it. It is perfectly acceptable for straight couples to, but sadly there is a double standard you may not be familiar with coming from where you live. Your concerns are justified for sure. I'm not trying to scare you either....just being honest. As long as you are kind an curtious no one should even bat an eye.
I am so sick of everyone thinking the South is not progressive, the entire South is not just the rural areas and Bubba's living in trailers and driving pick up trucks. We have progressive cities like Atlanta. Geez come on man.
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