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I think place does matter to some people.I think first a person should examine if there is an internal factor at play and it if so address that first but after that if they still want to move- move. ( If there are resources to do so of course).
I absolutely know what it's like to live somewhere that just isn't a good fit. It's one thing to make the best out of less than optimal situation and try to bloom where you are planted for a while if need be but I wouldn't want to make a lifetime of it.
Then there are others that are born somewhere and never question their place.
I've learned that I am happy with different places, and would be satisfied with just about anywhere. Currently though, SoCal provides enough mental stimulation for me to really appreciate living here.
I need to be in a large metro area that's at least moderately bikeable and has non-nonexistent public transportation, but the older I get the less picky I am about other things.
I’m blessed everyday to be born and raised in Brooklyn!
Even though the cost of living is very high it hasn’t made me want to leave but rather just motivate me to get more money! Might sound strange to come but that’s just me!
Overall large international cities with diversity attract me.
I need 4 seasons and a reasonably accessible center city. I lived in Chicagoland and it’s too big and expensive to get into/out of the city from the burbs.
I wouldn’t want a metro below 1mil I don’t think.
So there’s probably 15-20 areas I’d be pretty happy in. After the kiddos leave the house my criteria likely widens significantly.
I grew up in suburban SoCal, and decided I wasn't happy there at a pretty young age. Traffic, smog, and COL were the reasons. I've been back there often lately, and as much as I'd like to convince myself otherwise, I don't think I'd ever want to move back, and I don't envision myself ever being happy there.
I lived in suburban/exurban Seattle during the summer as a child, and always loved the nicer/friendlier/less dense environment, along with the natural setting, and always thought I'd be happy there. But it doesn't snow much, and it's something I wanted to try living in as an adult. And now, it's not like it was back when I was a kid, so the appeal has waned quite a bit.
I lived in an isolated 25K desert town in CA, and while my personal life was never better, I couldn't handle the isolation, the summer heat, lack of amenities, narrow minds, and lack of opportunities. I really like going back there to visit, but staying for more than a day or two would be too much.
I've been in metro Denver for the better part of 11 years, and while there is a ton to appreciate here, the landscape, and structure of the built environment don't really do it for me. There's a big contingent of cultural things here that don't agree with my internal soul/feelings either, and on top of that, I've never felt like I fit in. I can honestly say that when I move away from here, I will not miss it, and could easily forget I was ever here.
I very briefly lived in Spokane, WA, and the size of the city, ease of getting around, the extremely open and laid back culture, the landscape, climate, modesty, COL, housing stock, etc, all speak to me immensely. I enjoy many other similarly sized cities, and think right around there is my sweet spot (600K metro pop.)
However, I also am curious to live in a rural/agricultural area. I wouldn't mind trying the Central Valley of CA (one of the cities), far Northern CA, Oregon (say from Eugene southward), or smaller cities/towns in NE, KS, IA, WI, MO, IL, IN, MI, KY, OH, etc. Don't ask me why, but I sense a personal appeal.
A smaller part of me would like to try more of the true city lifestyle; I think I could be happy in a dense part of Chicago, or possibly even Los Angeles.
All of this being said, you don't know if you don't try, and if you don't try, you'll never know.
After moving back to Colorado and diving head-first into the outdoor recreation scene I'd be absolutely miserable if I had to move back to an area whose chief draws are cheap houses, shopping malls, and chain restaurants. YMMV.
Let's say you lived in a few different large cities. Assuming all things equal like job and friends, how much of a difference in happiness can living in a different city make for you?
The reason I ask is because I moved from Chicago to Philadelphia, and I was sooo much happier in philly. I'm not sure if it was actually because of the city, or other factors. I had roommate I liked after I moved, but I can't think of much else that was different.
Like you, I am much happier in Philadelphia than the city (Fort Lauderdale) from whence I came. Unlike you however, I know quite well why I'm happier here than I was in Florida. There are two reasons primarily: (1) in FTL, I needed an automobile to survive (I don't in Philly), and (2) I was bored out of my brains down there (I'm not in Philly). I retired to FTL from Washington, D.C. mainly because of the climate and the tropical feel of South Florida. I rented an apartment in downtown FTL (Victoria Park) thinking I would be able to walk to most things. How wrong I was.
And as a retiree, I have lots of time on my hands. I don't play Bridge and I don't like golf; in short there wasn't much down there to do that really interested me. So I moved to Center City Philadelphia and was finally able to get rid of my car. I now walk to everything including world-class visual/performing arts, historical sites, and medical care. I also do volunteer work that I really enjoy and have made a number of friends here. Before I moved to Philly, I wasn't sure I would like what many perceive to be a big old gritty northeastern city. Well, I've lived here now for sixteen years and I've come to love Philadelphia. Everything I want or need is here and I couldn't be happier!
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