In need of assistance.... (Valdosta, Tifton: fit in, employment, buyer)

[LIVENYC]

I am a young blk/wht 24 yr old lesbian female from New York City. I recently was accepted to VSU to major in Deaf Education. I have read quite a few of the forums concerning racism. I understand that no matter where you go racism is still alive, whether it is blatent or discrete. What is the gay community like in this area? What is the nightlife like? I know it will be nothing like NYC and I am prepared for that but I will be attending this school for at least 3 years so I need to have some kind of comfort. I am a fem (dress like a woman) but many of my friends who will frequently visit me are aggressives (women that dress like boys) how is this regarded in these parts?? Any places to hear r&b or reggae or hip hop??

My main goal is education, but everyone needs to unwind at certain times. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[atlantagreg30127]

I'll leave the others to give any club suggestions, but you will have to realize that you'll be moving to the deep South.

Now, being black or mixed race isn't that big of a deal in South Georgia. Remember, that Georgia in general has a large black population. While you will see more of the "this is the white side of town, this is the black side of town" stuff than you might be used to, in general you'll find that the tension isn't AS bad as some think it is.

However, the one issue you might run into stems from your comment about some of your friends being, "but many of my friends who will frequently visit me are aggressives (women that dress like boys)". That might play over ok if you find a lesbian bar in Valdosta that caters to that crowd, but, they might not get a warm welcome at the local McDonalds or Applebees. Hit and miss. If by "aggressives" you also mean "loud and in your face" personalities, then that's a strike against the locals, there. Long ago there was a topic in another forum similar to this about Tifton (GA) and the locals there were shall we say, "less than warm" to masculine lesibans who visited a friend in that area.

Others who are more local to that area I'm sure will add more details. I'm just making reference to what exposure I've had in that area and based on a couple of folks I know who have lived around there that I asked about your concern.

[LIVENYC]

I appreciate your insight, and by aggresive i only meant "women that dress like boys" not "loud and in your face". I figured that would be the case, but I guess there is always some kind of obstacle that you have to over come.

Thanks again

[gentlearts]

Your post reminded me of a question I have about lesbians. It is off topic and if you don't want to answer it, I understand.
I've always wondered why a woman who is attracted to other women would be attracted to a woman who is mannish? Why not just be attracted to a man then? I don't get it.

[LIVENYC]

I dnt mind answering that question. Just becasue a women dresses like a boy doesn't mean that she is "mannish". Some women just feel more comfortable dressing like this. For me, they are still women...dressing like a guy but knowing that you are a woman doesn't bother me none because when the clothes come off....all the womanly parts are there. A man well...they have manly parts that dnt interest me personally.

Dnt know if that helped any, but that's just my feeling.

[pickleswanson]

LOL! LMAO! Well dang baby if you add in Jewish, Muslim or Islamic to your profile you wouldn't be able to go anywhere without causing a stir. I went to college there, spent my high school years and my first 8 years of employment in the area. The fact that Tifton and Valdosta are really compared on a social basis is just plain funny to me. Tifton is very proper and southern so anything "taboo" is still closeted but remarkably accepted; so long as you aren't telling your triple x bed time stories and expecting everyone to not only listen in but enjoy it as well. They lead simple lives with a healthy dose of undisaplined American fanfare just to stay in the know or in touch with what goes on around them.
Truely hate anything or truely welcome anything outside of traditional local "norm" is not going to happen quickly. You are still going to experience some of this in Valdosta but not to as great of an extreme.

The night life in all of SoGA isn't exactly what any city folk would call night life but is it very active in all social aspects there. It will just be smaller and closer nit than what you are accustom to, meaning it will have tons more drama and everybody knows everybody and everbody knows everybody's business.

I knew many and I do mean many LGB's not so much so in the T sector though in Valdosta and all over GA. Quite often I found it very hard to distinguish them as any different than the straight community. The fems were fems and the butch were butch all across the board without regard to sexual orientation. If anything I found that the butch or as you said aggressives which is a new term for me actually fit in better with the carburetor slanging and wrangler fitted GA boys and girls. The fems on the other hand will have it harder. They will be constantly & heavily flirted with by all, get caught up in all the jersey and dress gossip plus be expected to be at the top of their game like some heir to the throne at all times. This is even before you have time to finish unpacking your belongings. Buyer beware - you have already slept with and been tainted by every swinging or not in town no matter what side of the fence they reside on, even if its somewhere in between. Even with all of that torture though you are bound to find a group that is truely yours and will love you like there's no tomorrow. Consider the rest kind of a welcoming committee that is there to test you to your wits end just to see how you react. You know you aren't liked if and only if you are ignored. The rest is just curious folk being curious the only way they know how. Heck most of the time they think they are being respectful and nice they just want to know what you are all about.

Well I certainly hope that all that explains to you that there is not a true gay community there. It is one huge community that has ties to every subset of itself. Now when you get ready to release your inhabitions this is when you find your community. You will travel all over the southeast (including several local or simi-local) to well known clubs & bars of all sizes and shapes to fit any mood, music or fetish you have. If you like, you can even toss in the lazy reason of just wanting something different to eat. Very becoming of everyone in the area. I did my best to know or at least meet as many people as I could while there and frequently found myself on overnight & up to a full week trip (by car that is) and never even left the Southeast until I knew exactly what places to stop for a clean bathroom, who sold the best glass of sweet tea, or at the very least who always had a friendly smile on thier face no matter when I dropped by. It is very easily found so long as you project a welcoming image yourself. Go to a couple of the truely local eateries & of course a couple GA/FL games and you are sure to shine. Best of luck to ya and welcome to SoGA, a state all of its own.

[LIVENYC]

I appreciated all the feedback. It seems the more and more I get responses to my questions, the more I want to go. I'm always up for a new challenge and love being in new environments. But your right in do time I will find the group that will truy be mine and will love and care for me, no matter where I go I have always found "my people" (in every sense of the meaning). I definately know that it is going to be a culture shock....but I'm looking foward to it.

Thanks again