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My daughter wants me to babysit about three times a week just to go out with her friends. She is a single mom and has been through a lot. But somehow I think going out three times a week is a little too much. Am I wrong? I love my grandson very much he is only four and very loving, but I think my daughter should spend more quality time with him. I would like your opinions.
I want to thank everyone for your comments. It's nice to know that I am not so unreasonable. Like I mentioned before she has been through a lot. She recently lost a baby and then her fiancee. She keeps telling me that she needs her friends to help her through this ordeal. I understand she feels quite distraught, but my husband and I feel that she needs to spend more time with her son. I will slowly try to get her to go out a little less. If anyone has advice on how to help cope with this situation..I'm all ears. Thanks again.
As a one time young single mom of two myself, who was going through a horrible ordeal herself,(a horrible divorce with an abusive ex-husband) I can tell you that I never asked my mom or grandmother to watch my kiddos any more than once a week. I needed to be with friends probably as much as your daughter does, but I needed my children more.
I'm not sure how you go about, trying to get your daughter to understand that going out three times a week is a bit excessive without her possibly getting upset and finding another babysitter. As a grandparent myself now, I know it would be hard to have my grandbaby be babysat by someone else, but I know that I wouldn't have the time or energy to watch her that often either. But maybe if your daughter had to pay for someone else to watch the grandchild, she may not go out as often.
Maybe you could tell her that you will watch the grandchild for free one night a week and any other times you will have to charge her the going rate. If she stammers at that, just explain that, you feel that once a week is an appropriate amount of time to be away from the little one, and as much as you love your grandchild you feel that any more than once a week is taking away from the time that you and your husband have together so you feel that it's only fair you be compensated.
Let me sound a different tune here. Your daughter is a single parent and thus the sole caregiver of her children. She is with them from wake up to bed time. At bed time she still must stay in the home. Let's assume that the children awake at 7 each morning and go to bed at 7 each night. That is 12 hours a day or 84 hours a week when your daughter is the sole caretaker of children awake. then their is the sleeping time, 7 to 7 or another 84 hours. Then let's assume she is asking you to watch the children three times a week for 5 hours each time. that is 15 hours. Is fifteen hours out of 168 hours excessive? I am a babysitting grandparent and will always keep my door open to those times my kids need time off for themselves. I was fortunate when we raised our children there were two of us, a mother and a father. We took turns and gave each other breaks. Our breaks were certainly more than fifteen hours a week. I would let your daughter have the time off and enjoy your grandchildren while you are able to enjoy them.
Maybe you could tell her that you will watch the grandchild for free one night a week and any other times you will have to charge her the going rate. If she stammers at that, just explain that, you feel that once a week is an appropriate amount of time to be away from the little one, and as much as you love your grandchild you feel that any more than once a week is taking away from the time that you and your husband have together so you feel that it's only fair you be compensated.
Great idea IMO!
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