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Dignity and respect should be shown to everyone. As my grandmother used to say (and I'm 70 myself now)
"old age does not give you the right to be rude."
Dignity and respect should be shown to everyone. As my grandmother used to say (and I'm 70 myself now)
"old age does not give you the right to be rude."
It certainly doesnt and Im the same age too... but would never use my age to be rude to anyone.. I never was and wont be now.
Twenty years ago I had some old obnoxious neighbours, two who were sort of friends. who looked down on everyone and because they had been in the flats since the start thirty years before they thought they owned the place.. I did all the things you do as a good neighbour offering to carry their bags up the stairs, that didnt go down well.. one told me "DO you think Im some old woman who cant do things for herself" so I smiled and was put in my place, however I kept trying to be nice, keeping the place lovely and offering help.... after six or so years they began to soften and were much nicer but Ive also found getting older myself is that a lot of old people have health issues, maybe in pain a lot of the time, maybe lonely. and this can manifest itself in them getting angry.. not an excuse but a reason maybe.....
Respect may be the wrong term. "Consideration" might be better.
I do go to extra lengths to tolerate and help older people. I also seek out their opinions and wisdom because they have seen the long term effect of things over and over while younger people are just experiencing these things at the beginning end of it for the first time.
However there are physical reasons to give older people greater consideration:
They are often living with substantial pain walking, sitting, bending anything hurts all the time. This both exhausts people and takes a mental toll.
Their movement is often limited. Thus if a 10 year old kids drops something, I am likely to let him pick it up himself. While if an 80 year old drops something, I will pick it up for them.
Their minds often do not work at 100%. They may talk slowly and forget things. You may have to be patient while they struggle to remember some detail that really does not matter anyway. they begin to lose their societal filter that keeps us form saying inappropriate things in public. This is not a decision to be offensive because they no longer care, this is a mental condition they have no control over that sometimes comes with age.
They have done their part. Contributed to society, made things work for us while we were young. Now it is our turn to step up and do our part for them.
They are often crazy lonely. Thus they tend to cling, refuse to end a telephone conversation, follow you down the driveway talking desperately about nothing. They crave human companionship and on rare occasions they get it, they do not want to let it end.
They often cannot do anything quickly. Move, drive, think, talk. It is trying for young impatient people and may require special consideration to let it go slow down and move at their pace.
They may stubbornly hang on to things that do not make any sense. It takes some accommodation to allow them the dignity to make their own choices. Yes, it may seem to us that wearing Depends is less humiliating than wetting your pants from time to time, but that is their decision to make, not ours.
"Respect" is the proper term alright. Certainly much better than "tolerance" or "sympathy." It's all akin to sort of respect embodied in saluting an officer -- recognition of a certain level of status/achievement.
Respect may be the wrong term. "Consideration" might be better.
Some of the discussion so far has indeed revolved around "consideration". I took the OP to actually mean respect, in the sense of honoring their opinions and taking them seriously and giving extra weight to their thoughts/experiences, as opposed to the hand-waving or dismissal that one might be inclined to give to a younger person that they feel is coming from an inexperienced and ill-informed place.
I'm on the bandwagon of folks that thinks there are both amazing people and idiots in all generations, and that being older is not a 100% guarantee of being wiser. If the world were static, it might be more of a sure thing.
Respect and wisdom are two very different things. Those who have served in the military (or even in the priesthood) will know that there are always those of rank whose wisdom cannot be taken for granted. To the point where they actively demonstrate an unworthiness of it however, they still command respect.
Compassion should always be given to most older people. However respect is only due to some older people, and some people in general. Respect is based on achievement and accomplishment and action. It is earned. One deserves respect not for being, but for doing. And this goes for all ages. So the mere fact of being old does not earn any respect. However, old age obviously sucks, so compassion and offering assistance are certainly due most older people. However the cranky and entitled old people are due the same disrespect as cranky and entitled younger people. Disrespect, like respect, is earned. And should be paid.
I am not an ageist. A person's age isn't who they are.
Older people do have experience that younger people don't have yet. That might be taken into consideration.
Younger people have experience that older people don't have, because times have changed and that should be taken into consideration also. If you want to be fair.
The real difference between people of different ages, is life stages.
It used to annoy me when I was a young mother and an older person would claim to be the expert on babies because they had some years ago. At that time, I was the expert on my baby because I currently had one. Why is their old experience more valuable then my current experience? One grandmother would say the baby was too hot and take off all of his or her clothes, the other would say the baby is too cold and smother him or her in blankets.
I let them do what they wanted for their visit out of respect. They wanted to participate and I am sure the baby was fine.
I think everybody deserves respect. If someone is disrespectul towards me, then I will be annoyed, no matter what age I am. I didn't like it when I was 5 and I don't like it now.
Respecting someone doesn't mean that you have to like their behavior or look up to them, but it means that you respect their individuality and accomplishment or talent or experience, which they must have in some way.
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