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Also, even when the proof is there, she might still be ostracized for trying to bring her attackers to justice. The young woman in Ohio who was brave enough to take her attackers to court was raked over the coals in Social Media, the Internet and even by her friends because in bringing them to court she was being accused of risking of saddling those poor young college men with criminal records for the rest of their lives. But they were criminals who performed criminal acts so the records were deserved. I am sure they weren't thinking of that while they were abusing her while she was unconscious. Yet it is this convoluted thinking that cause so many to turn on the victims when they try to seek justice.
It was those boys who saddled themselves with criminal records. They need to take responsibility for their behavior. If they didn't want to end up in court, they should have behaved appropriately. Their actions had consequences. If they didn't want to deal with the consequences, they shouldn't have done the deed/s. They have no one to blame but themselves.
It was those boys who saddled themselves with criminal records. They need to take responsibility for their behavior. If they didn't want to end up in court, they should have behaved appropriately. Their actions had consequences. If they didn't want to deal with the consequences, they shouldn't have done the deed/s. They have no one to blame but themselves.
Yes I agree. That's why I was surprised when I saw on the news how much hate and even threatening letters the girl was receiving about how she was ruining their reputations by being the cause of their getting the criminal records because she dared come forward to seek justice for what they had done. Even many of her friends wouldn't support her.
To put this another way. If someone gets their wallet stole from their pocket, is it the victim's fault for carrying a wallet in his pocket? Should he be blamed for taking it to a party? Was carrying that wallet provocative? A crime is a crime. The punishment should go to the perpetrator and no one else.
I think some men will never change their thinking regarding women and rape. Maybe if their twelve year old daughter were raped ..... no, they would probably still think she asked for it. In so many ways, such men have no idea what they're talking about. They parrot what other men have said down through the ages.
How can there possibly be one set of circumstances describing what leads up to a rape? It is known what identifies an act as rape. Penetration. Circumstances which lead up to that decide the rest. Of course, there are situations where there are differences.... exceptions... always exceptions.
You know - I just want to add one thing - and that is a congratulations to everyone who has chimed in. Not because I necessarily agree with some of the posters here, BUT IT IS GOOD THAT WE ARE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
Many of you are too young to remember why so many of us fought for the real women's rights movement way back in the the dark ages of the 1960's. It has morphed into something I don't even recognize. But I remember back when all rapes were considered the woman's fault and the courtroom was a nightmare for women if they tried to prosecute the man.
It remains that way now in many middle eastern countries. We've seen that thought process here in Phoenix from West African immigrants when an 8 year old girl was gang raped by 4 of her friends and classmates and the family disowned her. Even her siblings said it was her fault!!!
The fact that we can have this spirited debate on this topic is a testament to how far we have come, and it's a salute to our First Amendment rights of free speech.
So - and I mean this sincerely - thank you all for your contribution to this conversation. It's an important one to have.
You know - I just want to add one thing - and that is a congratulations to everyone who has chimed in. Not because I necessarily agree with some of the posters here, BUT IT IS GOOD THAT WE ARE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
Many of you are too young to remember why so many of us fought for the real women's rights movement way back in the the dark ages of the 1960's. It has morphed into something I don't even recognize. But I remember back when all rapes were considered the woman's fault and the courtroom was a nightmare for women if they tried to prosecute the man.
It remains that way now in many middle eastern countries. We've seen that thought process here in Phoenix from West African immigrants when an 8 year old girl was gang raped by 4 of her friends and classmates and the family disowned her. Even her siblings said it was her fault!!!
The fact that we can have this spirited debate on this topic is a testament to how far we have come, and it's a salute to our First Amendment rights of free speech.
So - and I mean this sincerely - thank you all for your contribution to this conversation. It's an important one to have.
Great post. Maybe this discussion will encourage people to see the subject from different perspectives and I think that is what debate is all about.
I have learned to forgive those who make comments like "there are holes in your story" on the few occasions when I have recounted my telling of my awful experience with rape. It took some therapy to understand and accept the fact that the problem lies within those people and the very strong possibility they are saying this is because they cannot accept that so heinous a crime can happen. They may also have personal issues because it is a male on female crime and that is also why they want so desperately to blame the victim if they are men. If they are women who are blaming the victim, they may have a very deep seated uneasiness of the men around them.
There are all kinds of reasons for people to feel the way they do. They are some reasons as to why certain people would want to blame the victim from a psychological point of view. So for me, in my situation, if someone tells me that my story "has holes" I simply know it is the problem of the person telling me that and not mine.
Men are animals and the main reason this planet is so populated......blame our creator for this.
Many countries where Prostitution is Legal will have a lower percentage of Rapes from what I have read.
A small child when told not to touch a certain object will do so the first chance they have.......same goes with SEX.
Women dress or should I say Undress as much as the Law will allow and are inviting SEX due to Natures need for Procreation.
Now I've opened a can of worms.
Have you read anything posted above? Do you read the news or at least watch it on TV?
What does raping an 80 year old woman have to do with procreation? What does raping a 6 month old baby have to do with procreation? What does raping a nun have to do with her manner of dress?
You say that men are animals and have no control over their actions? Then maybe women should get the men to donate to sperm banks and we kill off all of the animals that can never be trusted to control their actions.
You also say that men are small children. You tell them not to touch so that makes sure they touch?
SORRY!!! NO MEANS NO!
You may post with a man's name, but are no man. Real men don't rape.
Read the sentence carefully....I did not say children and men were the same.
A child ( I raised 4 boys and three girls) when told NOT to touch will do so first chance they have.
Men know they are NOT supposed to touch a girl/woman that is (dressed or should I say undressed) even tho SEX is so obvious to the naked eye......they are Flaunting SEX.
Why do girls/women do the following?
Victorias Secret is SO POPULAR with their SEXY underclothes.
Wear push up bras to enhance their breasts.
Clothes that show their Cleavage and part of the breast.
Dresses that expose the sides of their breasts.
Could go on but those are just some of the things that arouse Male animals.
And as for the 80 yr old or child Rape victim I have my sympathy in that regards.
Get a bskt of strawberries or bskt of tomatos and there will be a rotten one in the bunch.....it is called the Law of Averages.....same goes for any country on this planet.
To me, this all boils down to men refusing to take responsibility for their actions. To add to this, the law may be on a woman's side in theory but in practice, many women are afraid to report rape because they then must go on trial to prove that they did not provoke the rape.
It's only natural.
When you walk down the street coming back from work in the evening, when you are attacked and raped by a stranger, how long do you think it'll take jury to decide who is at fault here?
When you, however, invite someone in your house by your own accord, or go to visit someone and this someone happens to destroy your expectations, obviously it would bring a lot of deliberations to a jury, because it becomes your word against his.
My rape was in no way my fault. Period. I was in my own home with a man I had worked with for over a year and thought was a friend. It was after work, and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. We worked in a factory and it was a hot day in June so I was sweaty and dirty. I was in no way seductive or slutty. The only person responsible was my rapist, who made the conscious decision to tackle me to the floor and rape me, and ignore my demands that he stop, my attempts to fight him off, and my constantly repeating the word "NO!" NO MEANS NO. End of story.
Sorry I wouldn't want to offend you in any way, because I really don't know the whole story, however I do have couple of comments right away. You are saying "I was in my home with a man I thought was a friend," but "a friend" in the US often means "potential lover," whenever woman might decide to give it a go.
That's number one, and number two, since you knew him for a year, there could have been a lot of other things happening that he could have been perceiving differently comparably to your own ideas or expectations. Just saying.
That's why in courts those cases are not as "cut and dry" as you'd like to see it.
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