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In earlier times, men riding on crowded buses, trains, etc. were expected to give up their seats to ladies. A man who was seated while ladies were standing would be considered ill-mannered and not a proper gentlemen. And I would imagine that a woman who refused the offer would be considered brash and not a proper lady.
But social norms change, and certainly gender roles in the U.S. have undergone significant changes in recent times. So now we have the situation where some men will remain seated, unashamed, while the women standing over them glower at them in sullen annoyance. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the vehicle, a man will rise to offer his seat, only to find that the woman standing nearby refuses to take it.
So what do you feel is the proper etiquette? I'm not talking about offering seats to the elderly, or handicapped, or pregnant women, or someone burdened with packages. What I'm asking is, should an able-bodied, unencumbered man offer his seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered woman? And if so, should she take it?
Nope, women should be treated as equals. Which means they stand as a man would.
In earlier times, men riding on crowded buses, trains, etc. were expected to give up their seats to ladies. A man who was seated while ladies were standing would be considered ill-mannered and not a proper gentlemen. And I would imagine that a woman who refused the offer would be considered brash and not a proper lady.
But social norms change, and certainly gender roles in the U.S. have undergone significant changes in recent times. So now we have the situation where some men will remain seated, unashamed, while the women standing over them glower at them in sullen annoyance. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the vehicle, a man will rise to offer his seat, only to find that the woman standing nearby refuses to take it.
So what do you feel is the proper etiquette? I'm not talking about offering seats to the elderly, or handicapped, or pregnant women, or someone burdened with packages. What I'm asking is, should an able-bodied, unencumbered man offer his seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered woman? And if so, should she take it?
I definitely appreciate this gesture, even though I consider myself progressive. My feet get tired, and I don't run around in athletic shoes all of the time. Plus, it's just awkward not to be able to sit and look at the scenery. I think buses just need to offer more seating, really. That's often not the case, though, and, as long as it's a social norm and not a gesture of interest, I wouldn't be offended if a young man offered this young lady a seat.
No one brought up that they can both sit? Offer up your lap
Anyhow if it is crowded, i more than likely offer my sit just because the woman is likely smaller than me, it sucks being knocked around and at 200 pounds and 6', i tend to hold my ground better. I do this for kids as well, other guys can go to the gym however. It has nothing to do with her being able to stand, it is about the other people bumping into a smaller person. The elderly included, if they as a tall, bulky person, they can stand too. The pregnant women sits to protect the baby from the bumps. Also the pregnancy lasts for 9 months, she will be discomfortable for the duration, why not try to let her be slightly more comfortable for a 30 minute bus ride?
In earlier times, men riding on crowded buses, trains, etc. were expected to give up their seats to ladies. A man who was seated while ladies were standing would be considered ill-mannered and not a proper gentlemen. And I would imagine that a woman who refused the offer would be considered brash and not a proper lady.
But social norms change, and certainly gender roles in the U.S. have undergone significant changes in recent times. So now we have the situation where some men will remain seated, unashamed, while the women standing over them glower at them in sullen annoyance. Meanwhile, elsewhere on the vehicle, a man will rise to offer his seat, only to find that the woman standing nearby refuses to take it.
So what do you feel is the proper etiquette? I'm not talking about offering seats to the elderly, or handicapped, or pregnant women, or someone burdened with packages. What I'm asking is, should an able-bodied, unencumbered man offer his seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered woman? And if so, should she take it?
I'm a woman and I believe women and men are equals. With that said, men shouldn't hold doors open for me, permit me to exit an elevator first, or stand up to allow me to sit down.
I consider men my equal - I'm not higher or lower, or more special than him.
What I'm asking is, should an able-bodied, unencumbered man offer his seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered woman? And if so, should she take it?
No. Ask the question without the gender specific nouns and pronouns:
Should an able-bodied, unencumbered person offer their seat to an able-bodied, unencumbered person?
Just on the face of it, I can't see an argument for why the answer would be yes. Personally, I love accepting offers to enter through an opened door first or taking a seat offered by someone, then thanking them. It's a social game of sorts to receive token kindness and to offer back token gratitude. Nothing to do with chivalry, just the social games/dances/customs we play with each other.
I'm a woman and I believe women and men are equals. With that said, men shouldn't hold doors open for me, permit me to exit an elevator first, or stand up to allow me to sit down.
I consider men my equal - I'm not higher or lower, or more special than him.
Probably the only woman around here who thinks this way . Nice gestures shouldn't have a gender label.
Ok ok, post #4 sums it up for me, but I also agree with #10. That definitely pisses me off. When it comes to holding doors, I hold doors for anyone, man or woman.
I would offer a seat to someone who appears to have more of a need to sit than I do. Some women are more than capable, and probably more than content, with standing. But older people, people who look sick or tired, a lone parent with a young child, a nursing or pregnant mother; I'd give a seat up for them, regardless of gender out of politeness.
Good approach. I am old enough to remember when it was somewhat routine. But I honestly don't see the point of giving up a seat for a female of equal physical ability as me to to sit or stand.
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That's often not the case, though, and, as long as it's a social norm and not a gesture of interest, I wouldn't be offended if a young man offered this young lady a seat.
