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There was a time when a woman having a child out of wedlock was a shameful thing. Now a woman having a child or multiple children out of wedlock is considered a hero. Why is it heroic? Children born out of wedlock are still more likely to have a disadvantaged life compared to a child raised by married parents so why do we as a society now put single mother's on a pedestal? Single mothers by in large have made a poor life choice(s) and their children will suffer to some extent because of it.
And pray tell, where do you get this "heroic" label you're throwing out there? Nothing heroic being a parent at all no matter if only one or two parents. It's what we do to continue our species.
Everyone is a "hero" now, aren't they? The term is overused and thus meaningless these days.
Most, but not all, have made poor choices which is not the mark of a hero. Pregnancy is never an accident unless the two people involved have no idea that sexual intercourse can result in a pregnancy.
I would say military wives and women whose husbands have died leaving them with the children to raise can be considered, not heros, but very worthy of positive recognition.
Yes it takes two to tango but that doesn't remove the woman's choice to take precautions so as to not have a child out of wedlock. While the man also has a responsibility to take reproductive precautions being that the woman is the one who must bear the child and a majority of the time they are the single parents that gives them more of an incentive to take control over the choice to use protection and not get pregnant. But again deciding not to use protection and have a child out of wedlock doesn't make someone a hero it usually just makes the an irresponsible person.
I find it odd that so many people assume that having a kid while you're married is some guarantee of a relationship's future stability. It's obviously not. And the converse is true. Having a child with a partner when the couple is unmarried doesn't mean the relationship will fail. And neither scenario predicts how either partner will behave as parents in the future. When kids are involved, being a great parent is much more important than marital status.
Everyone is a "hero" now, aren't they? The term is overused and thus meaningless these days.
Most, but not all, have made poor choices which is not the mark of a hero. Pregnancy is never an accident unless the two people involved have no idea that sexual intercourse can result in a pregnancy.
I would say military wives and women whose husbands have died leaving them with the children to raise can be considered, not heros, but very worthy of positive recognition.
Maybe veering off but have to agree. I bet not a week goes by without the news lauding someone as a hero. It could be the result of being starved for one. Who know. The word is becoming as overdone as flying the flag at half staff. Both have become almost meaningless.
1) those that are heroes as they have done a great job without the father
2) those that are selfish and suck as Moms and have kids due to irresponsible behavior or for a check.
Kinkytoes Two Cents:
1. Raising children sucks. It is expensive and time-consuming. Giving birth is also painful. I'm not sure if single parents (there are dads too) are heroes, but society is acknowledging that the job of parents is hard, and harder for single parents.
2. Not all single parents are people who had accidents. More people are single parents now who have had unexpected divorces, the death of a spouse. Some people have adopted kids or had kids with medical help at later ages after getting education and careers. So more people may be sympathetic to the single parent. The term has lost stigma. Because not just poor, uneducated, ignorant or low class people are in the group of single parents.
3. More Americans have empathy. Single moms or dads who could not support their kids used to be just a remote concept. Now that more people have felt job losses and poverty and having difficulty raising their children because of the economy, many more people may empathize with how difficult it is to raise children with less money.
**American Expat...I'm not sure how stupid people are, but (based on my research), the checks are not big enough to make it worth having an additional child. Not to mention the pain. Sure if you are poor, the kids may not starve to death but... The people who can't afford kids but keep having them may be thoughtless or ignorant, but I'm not sure what they are gaining by having additional children. Especially if they work.
Who's putting them on a pedestal? What are you talking about? Where are you getting this?
Not me. I'd like to know where this information is coming from, too.
Women who are widowed or divorced and become a single parent certainly deserve credit.
A friend from high school decided to pursue a relationship and have a child with a man who couldn't legally marry her at that time. His wife was missing and presumed dead in a country which had been at war. Imagine their surprise when an international aid organization found her and sent her to the States to be reunited with her husband. He decided to honor his vows. While he did financially support my friend and their child for a while, it eventually stopped, and she was pretty much on her own.
Another friend from school was raped, and because she was very religious, wouldn't consider abortion. She decided to keep the baby and raise it on her own. She didn't want her biracial child stuck in the foster care system.
Not all single mothers are irresponsible teens who didn't use birth control.
There was a time when a woman having a child out of wedlock was a shameful thing. Now a woman having a child or multiple children out of wedlock is considered a hero. Why is it heroic? Children born out of wedlock are still more likely to have a disadvantaged life compared to a child raised by married parents so why do we as a society now put single mother's on a pedestal? Single mothers by in large have made a poor life choice(s) and their children will suffer to some extent because of it.
I don't think they're considered heroes. I think people respect single mothers who are doing well at raising their kids on their own because they're ex-boyfriend/husband/whoever is a piece of garbage who miraculously is rarely the target in questions about having children out of wedlock.
Raising a kid with someone else is hard enough. Doing it on your own and doing it pretty damn well is something to be admired. A person who is willing to work to provide for her child and still come home and make a meal for them is a good person. Even if some people think she's a ***** because she got pregnant before Jesus approved. And also, single dads deserve the same respect. While men are rarely blamed for single mothers (even though I think it's mostly their fault), men also don't get credit when they are single parents. A person, man or woman, raising a kid by themselves and still loving their kid is doing something few can do. There is a reason 'gender norms' existed. One parents needs to provide the other needs to nurture; women are slightly more nurturing by nature, so that's just how it happened. That's going away now, which is totally fine, but it is changing how society operates and as a result, things *gasp* changing. Just like they always do.
Well if a woman doesn't get pregnant out of wedlock she doesn't have to worry about a man shrugging of his responsibilities. If there is no toothpaste out of the tube you don't have to put in back into the tube.
Yeah...guys definitely need to keep their toothpaste well-contained!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys...no more squeezing for YOU, no more problems!
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