Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The "perceived offender" is a 3 year old child sticking his finger into the electrical socket. What do you do? Sit him down and have a long, involved intellectual conversation about electricity, how it works, and some of its negative consequences?
There's a happy medium between being too strict and being too lenient. Either extreme can be detrimental.
These days the solution is safety devices on your plugs - YOU should be spanked if you don't have them.
I don't see the connection. When they are adults, they are punished differently and they are punished by the courts, not by the parents.
Really young kids are different and I think a sharp word and a slap/spank work better. Used when preventing dangerous behavior.
This is the only reasonable use I see - that of you acting as a Mama Bear and doing a quickie word and sharp movement (doesn't even have to hurt, but makes an impression).....
This is a far cry from "a beating when I did anything wrong"....well, I wonder if what they did wrong was always wrong? Did they get a beating when they were making out with a GF at 12 years old? Did they get a beating for taking a beer when they were 14? Did they get a beating when pulling your rifle off the rack? Did they get a beating for deciding to to attend church?
That's far different from teaching about cars, etc.
Yup, it's abuse. I didn't spank my own son and got an earful for years about how he was going to grow up to be a criminal, lazy, stupid, spoiled, etc etc etc.
Now MY son is the only one of all my siblings kids who went to college, got a doctorate and works in academia. Super nice boy and man. Whereas my sister's oldest 2 dropped out of college and the youngest has had 3 kids out of wedlock by 2 different men, has never been married, and still expects mama to take care of her AND her kids. She was bratty as a child and is still bratty as an adult.
While I didn't like it at the time I am thankful my mother spanked me and I do think it made me a better person. Being raised by a single mother I statistically was at risk for being a delinquent yet I was the opposite...a well behaved, respectful kid. I credit this in part to fear of being spanked.
My mom's spankings were probably too long and too hard...they were a big production with a lot of yelling beforehand and lecturing afterwards. I would say they technically bordered abuse. Yet the only times I truly felt violated was when I felt I didn't deserve it. Somebody earlier mentioned mood...I could very much relate to that. There were days she was in a bad mood and any little thing could set her off and trigger a spanking. That wasn't good yet overall I still think I was better off having a parent who spanked me.
It's also lazy parenting. While disincentivizing behavior is a reasonable form of discipline, when it takes the form of "Don't do X or I'll physically hurt you!", it is unnecessary and teaches wrong lessons (hit people when they don't do what you want) and tends to create and focus anger (being hit tends to do that) rather than focusing the child's attention on the misbehavior. It's lazy.
Yes. My sisters and I were raised with bare bottomed spankings. It was humiliating. I resent my father for the spankings and my mother for sitting there and doing nothing about it. I view it as ignorant and lazy parenting. I believe it negatively intertwines love and physical abuse and I do not believe corporal punishment is a good foundation for a parent-child relationship. Also, it made me a very good liar due to fear of physical consequences. I stopped lying when I moved out of their house.
I purposely married a calm and level-headed man. I could not stand being raised in an environment of fear and refused to raise my child in one. We never spanked our daughter and rarely yelled at her. She was not an easy kid and I had to keep on her at times. She is worth my time.
It's also lazy parenting. While disincentivizing behavior is a reasonable form of discipline, when it takes the form of "Don't do X or I'll physically hurt you!", it is unnecessary and teaches wrong lessons (hit people when they don't do what you want) and tends to create and focus anger (being hit tends to do that) rather than focusing the child's attention on the misbehavior. It's lazy.
Agreed. At best, is the very definition of lazy and poor parenting.
We had 2 daughters, about 40 years ago. Because they were girls, I felt more comfortable letting my wife discipline them (with spanking), although at times I did have to holler to get their attention. I just didn't want to be the "big mean dad", but any parent knows there are times when the kids need to be disciplined. It has nothing to do with their gray matter. It has to do with respect and obedience at a time in life when they do not understand the dangers in this world. Both daughters have graduate-level educations, are married, work, and are good mothers to our grandkids (who have been spanked).
I truly think our problems as a society stem from too lenient upbringing, not spanking. I see kids running around screaming in places where they should be quiet. My brother and I would have been swatted if we had done such a thing. Today's inability of adults to sit down in a restaurant and enjoy an expensive meal without somebody's wailing kid ruining it, while the parent scrolls on their phone, is indicative of the REAL "lazy parenting". It's just not in fashion today to do more than say, "shhh", to a kid - which does nothing to quiet them.
Puppies are another matter. I have 3 German Shepherds, a breed that I have raised and trained for almost 50 years (I am age 70). I order to raise the puppies to be attentive for later training, an occasional swat with a newspaper is sometimes in order. I'm not talking beatings here, folks. I'm talking preparation for later training. I have raised GS's that have taken CD, CDX, and UD as well as Schutzhund titles with NO major stumbles. More loyal and intelligent dogs you couldn't ask for.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
