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I've been saying almost the exact same thing to friends I've discussed this with. When one side uses dirty tricks, the other side will use dirty tricks when it's their turn/time around. And ALL the rest of us suffer for it.
I'm astonished that more people don't realize this. The ends never justify the means.
And, quite frankly, the entire Kavanaugh episode might cost the Democrats the mid-terms. What had been a gimme now might wind up with the GOP continuing to hold a majority in both houses. If so, Feinstein's complete bungling of this will be on par with Gingrich's shutting down the government in 90s.
The realistic results of me "reporting." Go to hospital for strangers to examine my genitals after I've just been assaulted (you think that isn't traumatic?) and get a great big hospital bill for my Mom who had no money at the time. My Mom would be saying, "Well that's what happens when you go out and pick up men" nevermind that she drove us there and allowed the men to come back to our house, and went off to sleep with one of the two of them, leaving me alone with the other. The rest of my family likely would have shamed me also. Possibly I may have been removed from my home, where at least I was loved even if it was by crazy people, and put into the foster system where I might have been essentially sold off to a sexual predator for all anyone knows. If you think that kind of thing doesn't go on in the foster system in this country, you're a loon.
Good plan.
Oh, and they would have tossed any evidence on a shelf somewhere, did a bunch of paperwork, and the illegal immigrant known only as "Vincent" (which I guarantee wasn't his real name) would never have been caught. How the hell would he be caught?
Who knows how much school and life I'd have missed, dealing with doctors, cops, courts, and how much disruption to my family's life. Mom missing work and all. Oh and if the cops did in fact find him, his Mexican gang buddies might have a thing or two to say to me, maybe at gun or knife point, about that whole situation, don't ya think?
But hey at least I reported it!
That's the thing with people who just want to take a stance like your opinion matters. It doesn't. You aren't even talking about the same REALITY that people who lived through things actually experienced. Reporting can cause vastly more harm than good. And we have a great big, rather powerful system that has every incentive to keep it that way.
And anyways, as far as I'd learned as of 1993 (mostly from men and boys)--that wasn't rape, and if I said it was, I was just being a tease, got what I deserved anyhow. Report it. You're silly. Psh.
I do not believe that pretty much any man CAN NOT stop. If a guy who drinks becomes a person who cannot prevent themselves from raping someone, maybe they should not drink. As to the rest? I've never been drunk in my life, and the fact that I don't trust anyone, especially men, with my own incapacitated or inebriated self, is one of a few big reasons for that. Also, I've viewed frat boys and basically the "popular kids from respectable families" circles in any sort of institution as disgusting, predatory enclaves of entitled monsters with no respect for the humanity of other people around them, since I was barely out of elementary school. Whether that was the jocks and cheerleaders of public school, the frats and sororities of college, or the political "old boys' clubs" of adulthood. It shocks me not one little bit that people who have had little suffering and grew up with the silver spoon have no compassion, and I half expect any one of them to be more apt than a regular person to be a rapist or a "mean girl" or whatever. I grew up with their attitudes in my face, this ain't nothin' new. Power corrupts.
Does this mean I assume that Kavanaugh is guilty as accused? No. I wasn't there and I don't know. It would not surprise me one bit though, and I damn sure wouldn't go out drinking with him, or anyone like him.
And this is what I'm trying to point out, too. Do you guys not see the hypocrisy? We are told not to trust men, not to drink with them, not to let our guards down. And then in the same breath, to assume men are "innocent." Be careful, you never know who could rape you! But nah...women lie, guys don't rape women, surely not. Don't trust us! But trust us! How 'bout you guys make up your mind, huh? Or just say the truth. That rape does happen, could happen at any time (if women "let" it) but it really needs to be women's problem, because you are very uncomfortable with men being held responsible for it. It is simply a "thing that happens" due to women's bad choices. Hm?
yeah, I pretty much misworded that, and apologize....
yeah, I pretty much misworded that, and apologize....
I am very very sorry this happened to you...
You know what is weird though?
I'm not sure if I'm all that sorry it happened to me.
I know, sounds crazy, right? But hear me out a sec. I learned from that. At 14, I learned that one does not simply go letting a guy come into your home, or being in private with him, or being around drunk horny guys, or any of that, if you are not 100% sure you'd be ok with it if you ended up having sex with the dude. Yes, OPTIMALLY consent can be withdrawn, and yes, what he did is wrong, and no I don't blame myself. But it taught me to take some responsibility for my circumstances in some pretty specific ways.
Between my increased situational awareness and risk management, AND sheer luck, I have not had my consent violated since then. Pollyanna I may be, but I do what I can to take the positive and the learning out of every single experience I have. I consider this lesson to be valuable. I gained insight in looking out for myself. Bit of street smarts, if you will.
The price for this wisdom? A bit of disgust. I often liken it to having once stepped in dog poo with a bare foot. Pretty gross, but you wash yourself and go on living. I didn't catch a disease. I didn't get pregnant. I didn't get beaten up or killed. And thankfully my assaulter isn't someone I ever had to see again, so I didn't have to confront the pain that some women do who are raped by celebrities, musicians, politicians, etc. I don't know how I'd feel if I had to see that guy's face on TV every day! But it wouldn't be good! Now considering all of that, though...I would say that weighing the value of the lesson against its cost, I got a pretty decent bargain, all in all.
Does it suck that we live in a world where a woman might see something like this in such a way? Oh hell yes. But such is the world we live in, and I'd rather be alive in it than dead in it. *shrug*
I'm not sure if I'm all that sorry it happened to me.
I know, sounds crazy, right? But hear me out a sec. I learned from that. At 14, I learned that one does not simply go letting a guy come into your home, or being in private with him, or being around drunk horny guys, or any of that, if you are not 100% sure you'd be ok with it if you ended up having sex with the dude. Yes, OPTIMALLY consent can be withdrawn, and yes, what he did is wrong, and no I don't blame myself. But it taught me to take some responsibility for my circumstances in some pretty specific ways.
Between my increased situational awareness and risk management, AND sheer luck, I have not had my consent violated since then. Pollyanna I may be, but I do what I can to take the positive and the learning out of every single experience I have. I consider this lesson to be valuable. I gained insight in looking out for myself. Bit of street smarts, if you will.
The price for this wisdom? A bit of disgust. I often liken it to having once stepped in dog poo with a bare foot. Pretty gross, but you wash yourself and go on living. I didn't catch a disease. I didn't get pregnant. I didn't get beaten up or killed. And thankfully my assaulter isn't someone I ever had to see again, so I didn't have to confront the pain that some women do who are raped by celebrities, musicians, politicians, etc. I don't know how I'd feel if I had to see that guy's face on TV every day! But it wouldn't be good! Now considering all of that, though...I would say that weighing the value of the lesson against its cost, I got a pretty decent bargain, all in all.
Does it suck that we live in a world where a woman might see something like this in such a way? Oh hell yes. But such is the world we live in, and I'd rather be alive in it than dead in it. *shrug*
yes, me to, learned a lot...
Heard it once said, that it's a curse to be born a woman....because of all this....I don't remember who said it, but I do understand, and understand you. Lots of people tell me they're sorry, but totally am stronger and wiser b/c of my experiences, so you've hit the nail on the head so to speak. You can't allow yourself to be a victim, you pick yourself up, brush it all off and move onto the next experience.
I was falsely accused of rape as a teenager. I was very popular in high school. I played football, I was a wrestler, I played baseball. The summer before my senior year, instead of spending it looking at colleges, or working, I spent it in jail. The younger sister of one of my friends liked me. She wanted to date me, the problem was she was a freshman. She was much too young for me. I pretty much tried to avoid her, but she was able to get me in a trap. We had just finished summer football practice, when she approached me wanting a ride home. Something felt off, but I went ahead and drove her home. The next morning, my Dad walks into my room with several police officers behind him. I was read my rights, placed in hand cuffs, and put in a police cruiser. The cops searched my room, took my dirty clothes from the day prior, and transported me to the police station. They asked me questions for hours, trying to cajole me into admitting that I raped her. Finally, about 3 hours later my parents showed up with a lawyer, and they gave up. I was transported to the county jail because juvenile detention was over capacity. After I was in processed, I went to a video monitor where I "saw" a judge. I was told that bail was denied because I was a threat to society. I spent my summer in jail. 47 days. My lawyer was finally able to convince the judge to let me out on house arrest. For the next 6 months I had an ankle monitor. I was kicked off the football team, and the wrestling team.
It wasn't until the trial started that cracks in her false allegation began to show. Of course there wasn't any physical evidence. Her word against mine. My lawyer showcased how her story changed. The details were different, from the first recorded allegation she made at the police station, to when she made her statement in court. Even her own state social worker testified that she would bend facts and the truth to suite her needs. She called her manipulative. I thank God that the jury saw through her lies, I was found not guilty. I can only imagine how horrible my life would have been otherwise. Even though I proved my innocence, I lost allot.
False allegations are serious, and should be treated that way. If we allowed the law to change to where a simple allegation put you in prison, no one would be safe. All it would take is for you to make someone mad, and boom, I got raped, and away you go.
Wow ericsvibe...that's awful. So sorry you had to go through that.
My oldest son used to live in California. He had girlfriend who came from a very wealthy family. One day, she asked him to come over. When he got there, she was in the tub, drunk, with 2 friends of hers in the bathroom with her.
My son felt weird being there because of the other 2 friends, and her being drunk, so he said something about leaving and talking to her later. I forget the details, but this made her mad, and she jumped out of the tub, and started hitting and pushing my son.
In the process of the hitting and pushing, she fell over a coffee table, knocked a lamp over, which broke, and she cut herself on the glass.
She yells at him to get out, and that she's going to call the police, and then call her dad, and my son would be in jail and never get out.
My son went home, scared to death of what was going to happen. He called me about 4 in the morning, told me all about it, and we talked for about 3 hours.
The police never came, she never filed charges, or anything like that. But geez...if she had, I imagine the same thing would've happened to my son that happened to you.
I was falsely accused of rape as a teenager. I was very popular in high school. I played football, I was a wrestler, I played baseball. The summer before my senior year, instead of spending it looking at colleges, or working, I spent it in jail. The younger sister of one of my friends liked me. She wanted to date me, the problem was she was a freshman. She was much too young for me. I pretty much tried to avoid her, but she was able to get me in a trap. We had just finished summer football practice, when she approached me wanting a ride home. Something felt off, but I went ahead and drove her home. The next morning, my Dad walks into my room with several police officers behind him. I was read my rights, placed in hand cuffs, and put in a police cruiser. The cops searched my room, took my dirty clothes from the day prior, and transported me to the police station. They asked me questions for hours, trying to cajole me into admitting that I raped her. Finally, about 3 hours later my parents showed up with a lawyer, and they gave up. I was transported to the county jail because juvenile detention was over capacity. After I was in processed, I went to a video monitor where I "saw" a judge. I was told that bail was denied because I was a threat to society. I spent my summer in jail. 47 days. My lawyer was finally able to convince the judge to let me out on house arrest. For the next 6 months I had an ankle monitor. I was kicked off the football team, and the wrestling team.
It wasn't until the trial started that cracks in her false allegation began to show. Of course there wasn't any physical evidence. Her word against mine. My lawyer showcased how her story changed. The details were different, from the first recorded allegation she made at the police station, to when she made her statement in court. Even her own state social worker testified that she would bend facts and the truth to suite her needs. She called her manipulative. I thank God that the jury saw through her lies, I was found not guilty. I can only imagine how horrible my life would have been otherwise. Even though I proved my innocence, I lost allot.
False allegations are serious, and should be treated that way. If we allowed the law to change to where a simple allegation put you in prison, no one would be safe. All it would take is for you to make someone mad, and boom, I got raped, and away you go.
Thank you for your testimony and you are the absolute reason why I am against all of this crapp you're living proof of the pain and sorrow a lie can do to a human being and it shouldn't be done she should have been prosecuted and board up for line and maybe sit in jail a whole summer I'm sorry but one person to go through this is too many
I wouldn't vote for Trump with a gun to my head, nor am I fan of Kavanaugh. But if you can't see the moral hazard of what happened, then God help you.
It doesn't matter if it's a trial or a hearing or whatever. When someone's life, career, or reputation hang in the balance, there has to be a standard of truth and proof. Simply saying something happened doesn't mean it actually happened, no matter how many convoluted arguments you offer up. And, in the case of Dr. Ford, there were enormous holes in her story that called her credibility into question. And, once again, I say that as someone who loathes this administration.
It boils down to this. Slander and half-baked accusations are just that, regardless of the political affiliation of the target. If you agree with Dr. Ford based on the political leanings of Kavanaugh, then be prepared for the same tactics and strategy to be used against a nominee or candidate you like.
We used to give a damn about truth in this country. Not spin.
First of all, I'm tired of Republicans whining. They're the worst winners I ever saw.
But I'm tired of anyone saying that playing politics to win is just the game of Democrats. If that were true, Garland would be sitting on the Supreme Court right now.
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