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I'm interested in learning only about the LEGAL benefits of getting married? (nothing philosophical please)
also, does it matter from state to state? if so, what about Virginia?
Statistically there are about 400 state benefits and 1,000 federal benefits to being married. Most have to do with income, taxes, property, access, information sharing, decision making, etc. I was married 27 years the first time and mow for almost 13 years and I'd be hard-pressed to name even a fraction of them but some hard research will, I'm sure, reveal them.
The benefits do vary somewhat from state-to-state.
I think if a couple gets married only to receive financial benefits....they should just stay single and live together. The real point of marriage has been lost and it won't work anyway.
Well...there certainly needs to be a whole lot more for two people getting married other than the financial, obviously. As for Shacking Up...that is a poor alternative but has been a convenient way for two people to use one another (until the tire of each other) over the last few decades without the legal ramifications .
I think if a couple gets married only to receive financial benefits....they should just stay single and live together. The real point of marriage has been lost and it won't work anyway.
Interesting...
I have known plenty of people who rushed to get married so they could get on their spouse's health care plan either because they didn't have health insurance or their spouse's health care plan was better.
Should we start a new thread, purpose of marriage?
The main reason I want to get married is because of the protections it offers. I worry constantly about my girlfriend having a medical emergency and me not being able to make medical decisions for her. Sure we can go a lawyer and draw up something that says I can make medical decisions for her but who's to say the hospital would accept that? If we were married, the hospital would be hard pressed to deny me the right to make medical decisions for her.
Interesting...
I have known plenty of people who rushed to get married so they could get on their spouse's health care plan either because they didn't have health insurance or their spouse's health care plan was better.
Should we start a new thread, purpose of marriage?
The main reason I want to get married is because of the protections it offers. I worry constantly about my girlfriend having a medical emergency and me not being able to make medical decisions for her. Sure we can go a lawyer and draw up something that says I can make medical decisions for her but who's to say the hospital would accept that? If we were married, the hospital would be hard pressed to deny me the right to make medical decisions for her.
Good points. Our Legal System recognizes Marriages and offers protection and benefits ; ive watched enough Judge Judy on TV to know that the Legal System has little tolerance for playing house , etc.
I suggest the book "What is Marriage For?" by E.J. Graff. She discusses the history of the purpose of marriage and the past of women and children being property, legal changes, etc. For instance, in Maine, if you're married, one member of the couple can get a lobstering license that automatically conveys to the legal spouse. There are a zillion little things like that in every state, and plenty of big ones.
I know a lot of people who married (or remarried) later in life and there were no children involved from earlier marriages, and people were not planning to have children. They certainly still had absorbed the message that being married is more of a commitment than not being married, and if you absorb that message (which is pretty hard to avoid), then it is true.
Anecdotally, my friends who did this have all felt a blossoming of commitment because of the marriage, along with this blossoming leading to them becoming married.
In general, the federal government does not support marriage. Either in the tax rates or in social security benefits.
I think it is important for couples with children to marry or have some legal agreement to insure rights of inheritance and social security benefits if the parents die.
thanks for the replies.
i'm somewhat puzzled though....aside from a post by Purplelove regarding "medical decisions", i haven't really heard the answer to my original question.
What really grinds my gears is when people recommend books, articles, etc. for me to read. like i don't know how to do a google search!!! I DO, and i HAVE.
what this thread is intended for, is to get the OPINION of YOU, the users of this forum. I'm interested in YOUR experiences, YOUR views.
i was hoping for clearcut answers as far as the benefits...you know, like bullet points.....
Regardless, thanks for taking the time and posting.
OP
There are no guarantees in life no matter who you are, where you are or what your marital status is.
Do what makes you happy and protect any children you have with a living trust and you will be OK.
As my best friend and I are almost seniors and have no family, we have set up mutual living trusts. When one of us dies, the other will inherit the other's property without going through probate. Part of our living trust is the notice not to resuscitate which gives each of us the right to pull the plug if for some reason we are hospitalized in a hospital that does not have a copy of our orders. Also, our funeral wishes will be honored. As we are not "life partners" there are no social security benefits to either of us.
You can only do this with your spouse or someone that you trust with your life. We have so far been best friends for 49 years and are family.
In the future, even if I should meet a man and fall in love, I would never remarry and my best friend would still retain the rights to my trust.
As far as benefits? I am a little confused about your question. Are you looking to find the best place or way to profit from a relationship with someone?
Personally, that's too ugly even to address.
OP
As far as benefits? I am a little confused about your question. Are you looking to find the best place or way to profit from a relationship with someone?
Personally, that's too ugly even to address.
when you buy a car, you look at the positives and the negatives. when you buy a house, you consider both pros and cons.
I think the same should apply when considering marriage.
IF for example, getting married would mean that my taxes would be tripled, well, i would probably NOT get married. Contraire, if marriage would mean that we would get 200k towards buying a house, then i would get married to 5 women. Get my point?
i would like to know the benefits (not necessarily financial) of getting married...and so far, i haven't seen anyone suggest anything!
I'm good friends with a couple - they are older and were both widowed - who got married in the church, but never registered as such legally. The reason is that it would have screwed up so many things regarding their estates, even though neither is at all wealthy. Mostly though, one of them has a handicapped child, and signing a marriage license would have completely screwed up that whole situation.
It's interesting how some of these things work.
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