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The real number one reason is that we are genetically wired to reproduce. We have an overwhelming desire to engage in activity likely to result in conception. We have a well organized system of mate selection, which has evolved to product the most successful offspring. We are brainwashed from childhood to play house, to prepared boys and girls to play the appropriate roles in producing children and nourishing them.
A great majority of women are wired in such a way that if they do not fulfill their maternal instinct, their mind and their body begin to exhibit withdrawal symptoms.
It takes almost a superhuman effort to resist and overcome the intense drive to have children.
I honestly believe most people have kids for there own selfish reasons.
Some bottom of the barrel types have kids because welfare gives them more money
Some people have kids in hopes of "saving" there relationship
Some looneys have kids because they want attention
Some people have kids because they simply have a void in there life and want something to do
Some people have kids for there own status in society, its like there trophy piece
Some people dont even plan to have kids, its an unwanted accident
A female who doesnt take her birth control pill on purpose, in hopes of forever being connected to the man shes with
Of course Im not implying everyone is guilty of this but dont you think there is a lot of this going on?
Some of these examples are reasons for also not having kids. More money and status and staying with a man who doesn't want kids. Although I should have read through all posts, I was interested in the topic.
There may be some truth to this, but there is also another side that is equally as selfless. What about the people to take in others' kids and do it out of just trying to help unfortunate or helpless children? Raising one's own kids and then taking in other family members or getting involved in foster care, for example, are examples of great generosity and a great capacity to give and love others.
Why wasn't the real #1 reason for having kids mentioned? Very simply, "to love a child." If that is selfish, let's hope the kids will benefit from lotsa lovin'. Bet the OP doesn't have kids.
Because in this country today more people seem to be having kids for their own selfish reasons, none of which are good ones.
No the OP doesnt have or want kids. I enjoy my life as a single man, and enjoy my freedom to come and go as I please and the choice to not have to provide or be committed to someone else for the rest of my life. Its the greatest feeling in the world....aahhhhhhhh.
I dont even like kids, I dont date woman who have kids either, but I do think its sad that some are brought into homes where the parents concieved the child for their own selfish reasons as opposed to truly wanting to commit themselves to parenthood.
Seriously think about it, how many slobs with low income or no income do you see pushing strollers around?
How many news stories do you hear about babies being killed or flushed down the toilet by their "moms"
How many SINGLE parents are there in America today??
How many men are in jail for failure to pay child support, when they didnt even want a child to begin with?
I have no problem with anyone who is financially and mentallty stable enough who truly wants to enjoy and commit themselves to a lifelong commitment of responsibilities to being a parent....a good parent. But unfortuantely today it seems more then ever, people are having kids who are unfit to be parents.
The real number one reason is that we are genetically wired to reproduce. We have an overwhelming desire to engage in activity likely to result in conception. We have a well organized system of mate selection, which has evolved to product the most successful offspring. We are brainwashed from childhood to play house, to prepared boys and girls to play the appropriate roles in producing children and nourishing them.
A great majority of women are wired in such a way that if they do not fulfill their maternal instinct, their mind and their body begin to exhibit withdrawal symptoms.
It takes almost a superhuman effort to resist and overcome the intense drive to have children.
I have no drive what so ever to have a kid. Thought has never ever crossed my mind.
A great majority of women in the western world have also been introduced to this..
So it's hard to say for a fact they are wired to want kids. More like they are conditioned from birth.
Because in this country today more people seem to be having kids for their own selfish reasons, none of which are good ones.
No the OP doesnt have or want kids. I enjoy my life as a single man, and enjoy my freedom to come and go as I please and the choice to not have to provide or be committed to someone else for the rest of my life. Its the greatest feeling in the world....aahhhhhhhh.
I dont even like kids, I dont date woman who have kids either, but I do think its sad that some are brought into homes where the parents concieved the child for their own selfish reasons as opposed to truly wanting to commit themselves to parenthood.
Seriously think about it, how many slobs with low income or no income do you see pushing strollers around?
How many news stories do you hear about babies being killed or flushed down the toilet by their "moms"
How many SINGLE parents are there in America today??
How many men are in jail for failure to pay child support, when they didnt even want a child to begin with?
I have no problem with anyone who is financially and mentallty stable enough who truly wants to enjoy and commit themselves to a lifelong commitment of responsibilities to being a parent....a good parent. But unfortuantely today it seems more then ever, people are having kids who are unfit to be parents.
You are responding to what you read and not what you know. What you've listed may be valid. There are many people who may fall into the categories you cite. HOWEVER, there are many who just want to love a child. I daresay your list is not a fair one.
Some of these examples are reasons for also not having kids. More money and status and staying with a man who doesn't want kids. Although I should have read through all posts, I was interested in the topic.
My friend, the examples I listed are all the wrong reasons to have kids. But the point of my discussion here is to see if anyone else notices the problem we as a society are seeing today because of these reasons.
The reasons I listed are not in the best interest of the child which is the whole point of this topic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brendiej
There may be some truth to this, but there is also another side that is equally as selfless. What about the people to take in others' kids and do it out of just trying to help unfortunate or helpless children? Raising one's own kids and then taking in other family members or getting involved in foster care, for example, are examples of great generosity and a great capacity to give and love others.
No thats fine, thats great. I really do applaud those people, that is a very nice gesture to do. As long as they are mentally and financially stable enough to be good parents and have the childs best interest in mind, I really do applaud them. If anything, hopefully people like that would be getting the child out of a home or situation with unfit parents who are guilty of having a child for one of the reasons I listed in my initial post.
There are many people who may fall into the categories you cite.
Thats all Im here to talk about. Are the people who fall into those categories I listed. I applaud good parents who plan for the child and have the childs best interest in mind as oppose to just having a child for some form of status or hobby or to keep a boyfriend in the picture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aylalou
HOWEVER, there are many who just want to love a child. I daresay your list is not a fair one.
Absoultely. I am not here to discuss good parents who do not fall into the selfish category. I am certainly not saying everyone is selfish for wanting to have kids.
I am here to discuss the problems we see today because of people having children for their own selfish reasons as oppose to a childs best interest.
It takes almost a superhuman effort to resist and overcome the intense drive to have children.
Awesome news then! I must be Superhuman
I have no desire whatsoever to be someones daddy. Its to much responsible and its a lifelong commitment that I choose not to get into. Its also a lot of money as well. As I said earlier, I love to come and go as I choose, see who I want, do what I want, the LAST thing I would want is to have a kid to provide for that I didnt even want.
Even though I dont like kids and certainly dont want kids, I dont wish bad on any of them, as a matter of fact I wish all kids get to grow up in a great upbringing and a loving family.
The point of my topic however, is there is alot of selfish parents who are bringing children into the world without the childs best interest in mind.
The point of my topic however, is there is alot of selfish parents who are bringing children into the world without the childs best interest in mind.
Which is not necessarily a static issue.
People do things without the best of intentions all the time, doesn't mean it will always be so AND simply because standing on the outside looking in things look a particular way doesn't always make it so either.
You're talking about actions and reactions and circumstances all of which CHANGE over time.
I'm quite sure there are people who have children that are well cared for, and much loved who have at times wished they'd never had them just as there will be people who have children for not well thought out reasons who recover and go on to be excellent parents.
Have you noticed that you posted this already? Don't double post!
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