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So what does Sandra Bullock's opinion have to do with anything? She's just another person.
I find it interesting how judgmental and interfering some people decide to be about childbearing.
Does anyone's opinion matter to you? I am just trying to show you that there is other people in this world who share some of the same thoughts I do about people having kids for their own selfish reasons, without the childs best interest in mind.
This particular lady has a different spin on not wanting kids but also makes a case against people having kids for selfish reasons
Does anyone's opinion matter to you? I am just trying to show you that there is other people in this world who share some of the same thoughts I do about people having kids for their own selfish reasons, without the childs best interest in mind.
This particular lady has a different spin on not wanting kids but also makes a case against people having kids for selfish reasons
No, nobody's opinion about having or not having kids means much of anything to me.
Why? Because it's not their business.
The number of kids my wife and I choose to have, or not have, is nobody's business.
Nobody is making it their business.
But everyone is entitled to their own opinion and a lot of people also believe that some people....a lot of people actually, are having kids for their own selfish reasons, without the childs best interest in mind but more so their own.
People are gonna live their life the way they want and other people will always have a right to judge them
I notice that you posted this same thread starter in two different forums here.
Sure, whatever you say - there are people who have selfish reasons for having children. Thanks for pointing out that there also are people who have reasons that are acceptable to you for having children. Not much left to debate, is there? That should free you up to work out your issues with "females." Good luck.
I was "advised" to start my topic in the debates thread as some people in the parenting thread told me it would be better suited here because that area of the forum is more about "teething" and "potty training"
I thank you for being so observant of my posts though
Sure there is always room for a good debate. The debate here is that some people in America and the world for that matter think its perfectly acceptable to be broke with no money and live off the goverment to support their kids, and some people think its all cute and fine for a person who is emotionally unstable, lonely and mentally unbalanced to have a kid for attention reasons...those are not acceptable. Id love someone to debate me otherwise as to have it is healthy for people who are unprepared, and unbalanced to bring kids into this world with only their own selfish reasons in mind....
I dont have any issues with females. I choose not to be a "dumb daddy" with a "honey do" list. I see who I want when I want, I like to have a lot of choices on the menu. A lot of guys do, thats why much more prefer being single these days. Perhaps thats another topic for another time.
When I originally thought about this topic and decided to make a post about it on City Data, I honestly did no research whatsoever. I thought about my own experiences that I witnessed in life, with friends, co workers, friends of friends, the news, documentaries on TV, things like that.
I stand by what I said 100 %.
There are to many people having babies for their own selfish reasons in mind instead of the best interest of the child in mind.
It has nothing to do with people who are financially, mentally, and emotionally stable and willing to commit to a lifelong responsibility to raising a kid and being a good parent....I think some of you are missing that point. My main "agenda" of this topic is to raise awareness and discuss..debate..people having children for the wrong reasons...selfish reasons.
Like I said, I just happen to think about this for a while and decided to finally post it to see what others had to say, and I was surprised to see so many of you practically supporting, or condoning people having children with only their own wrong selfish reasons in mind.
Well despite the feedback some of you left, I was pleasantly surprised when I did a few simple Google searches and found out that there are plenty of people out there who completely understand and agree what I am saying and in some cases have given some of the same exact wrong selfish reasons for someone to have a child.
I have posted some already but here are some more who echo some of the same reasons I listed in my initial post.
Five Wrong Reasons to Have a Baby - MSN Relationships - article (http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articletkt.aspx?cp-documentid=8518916 - broken link)
This one is about the "whoops forgot my birth control....on purpose"....and then these MORON con artist females wonder why the men want nothing to do with them
I got pregnant on purpose. Twice. The first time I didn't talk to my husband about it first, I just did it and surprised him. The second time he was aware and actively involved. If I hadn't gotten pregnant that first time he never would have been "ready". They are both grown now.
Ok well, if the list I posted seems to be the norm for most people who have replied so far, then which category do you fall under?
I ask because the reasons above, dont seem to have the childs best interest in mind. Can some of you actually condone some of those reasons I listed???
Having a child to save a relationship?
So what if it doesnt work? The kid is born not because the couple actually wanted to be parents but for their own selfish reasons for wanting to keep their marriage or relationship together. What if the kid doesnt do that? How is that good?
looneys having kids because they want attention?
We all know the girl...Loneley, depressed, confused, wants attention, so she thinks having a baby will bring her all the wanted attention shes craving...thats a good thing? How is the childs best interest in mind?
having kids because they simply have a void in there life and want something to do
Having a kid to fill a void? How about getting a hobby or play golf. Bringing a child into the world is a lifetime commitment. Nobody should do it if they arent fully commited.
people having kids for there own status in society, its like there trophy piece
"So Becky and John just had twins and so should we so we fit in better" You sure you actually want to be parents or is it just to "keep up with the Jones"
A female who doesnt take her birth control pill on purpose, in hopes of forever being connected to the man shes with
How the hell can anyone in their right mind condone this?
How about poverty level or low income folks having kids to get more welfare money?
I know woman who proudly decided to have as many kids as possible to get into housing and get more monthly assistance
These are good reasons to have a kid?????? This is the norm????
Dont act like everything is hunky dorry in America, because it sure isnt, and bad parenting due to unfit parents and unruly children are a big part of the problem.
I agree with you, Mr. Winter. It would be best if the birth rate in this country would decrease dramatically.
I agree with you, Mr. Winter. It would be best if the birth rate in this country would decrease dramatically.
Interestingly, that has already happened.
And now that the Baby Boomer Generation is starting to reach retirement age, we're seeing an enormous problem on the horizon: There are not - and will not be - enough working people paying into the system, to support those who are retiring.
No one has kids because the Social Security system needs more workers. Anyway, it would be ideal if the U.S. population would stabilize- it's already a high absolute number. Frankly, people without kids are in a better position to save money for their older age (I know I am) than having kids to support Social Security or "take care of me in old age." This isn't Middle Ages China, after all.
(Disclaimer- I am childfree by choice- have never seen anything about being a parent that remotely appealed to me. Probably lost one great guy over it).
I honestly think we are hard-wired to want sex, not reproduction. Reproduction is brilliantly wired in a side effect to those of reproductive capacity. But those who aren't able to reproduce (for every reason, age, birth control, medical problems, homosexual) are still, as a rule, desiring a sexual life or relationship. So what is hard-wired?
My thought has long been, for most of human life, there was little-to-no choice about sex resulting in reproduction. No real birth control, marriage=sex-reproduction, religion insist on reproductive sex, many men violently opposed to birth control,no social options for women outside of marriage-motherhood- sort of like a lot of the world is today.
It's only been since about 1960 when birth control pills became available (and that only in some few developed countries) that conceiving/bearing children became more of a choice than a given. I think social life and personal thinking has certainly not caught up to the breathtaking social and technological changes that birth control has brought to women's lives.
I do believe there are some women and some fewer men who genuinely and consciously desire to raise children, to live the life of a parent for many years. I wish them every success and fertility for their chosen lives.
I do think it's still an automatic "that's when you do when you get married/that's what a real woman does" etc. etc. operates far more than it should.
I think that child-raising should be safe, legal and rare. A choice, not a default program.
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