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I and a friend of mine were discussing this the other day talking about how people just seem to lack "passion" anymore and they seem so emotionless and shut down. No one seems to care about anything, no causes no nothing. She told me her and sister were talking about this, how people have become so closed down in American society, afraid to open their mouths about anything, afraid to actually have an opinion and no emotions anymore. She said, People just do not have emotions anymore and I agreed!.
I think I moved to the place on the planet with the least emotional people going. I do not think it is just me. Extreme reserved or stoic, even to show too much happiness among these stoics, seems to be threatening to them. By the way this area is far more upper class then where I used to live.
I gotta get out of this place because my personality DOES NOT FIT HERE!~ I actually had this lady here tell me, "I do not need friends, my family is enough" That was weird. She acted as though wanting to be someone's friend was the most evil thing a person could come up with. I do not understand these people!
Why our society values conformity - by Tim Bolton - Helium (http://www.helium.com/items/212939-why-our-society-values-conformity - broken link)
It's cultural, I think, in part.
I used to live in NY amongst very animated people. You know NYers, they will scream "What the ****??!!" at anything. There are lots of people of Italian descent & other ethnic groups who do not keep things bottled up.
Now I live in Vermont. It's very white bread here. Most people are descendants of the British and more 'laid back.' If you know your cartoons, think "Spongebob" when he is trying to act more 'normal' in the episode where he wants to fit in better. He says, "Hey, how are you?" in a very monotone voice. That is the typical Vermonter.
I don't mean it in a negative way but we've had to tone down the "NY" bit if we want to get along here. My husband (he's originally British but embraced the NY loudness to a T) uses it when he needs to light a fire under people here.
Yes, the friends bit you mentioned...it's very common now. I have tried to reach out and be friendly to a variety of people. It's just been rebuffed. The days of calling up your neighbor and saying, "Hey come over and have coffee." have been replaced by a society of tv addicted shut ins.
Of course, you can keep trying, join clubs and so on to find friends but I don't have the opportunity to do that, because I like many people, have to find a job, take care of a family, and so on. Maybe that is why people 'seem cold'--they are trying to make ends meet and can't spare a feeling.
It's cultural, I think, in part.
I used to live in NY amongst very animated people. You know NYers, they will scream "What the ****??!!" at anything. There are lots of people of Italian descent & other ethnic groups who do not keep things bottled up.
Now I live in Vermont. It's very white bread here. Most people are descendants of the British and more 'laid back.' If you know your cartoons, think "Spongebob" when he is trying to act more 'normal' in the episode where he wants to fit in better. He says, "Hey, how are you?" in a very monotone voice. That is the typical Vermonter.
I don't mean it in a negative way but we've had to tone down the "NY" bit if we want to get along here. My husband (he's originally British but embraced the NY loudness to a T) uses it when he needs to light a fire under people here.
Yes, the friends bit you mentioned...it's very common now. I have tried to reach out and be friendly to a variety of people. It's just been rebuffed. The days of calling up your neighbor and saying, "Hey come over and have coffee." have been replaced by a society of tv addicted shut ins.
Of course, you can keep trying, join clubs and so on to find friends but I don't have the opportunity to do that, because I like many people, have to find a job, take care of a family, and so on. Maybe that is why people 'seem cold'--they are trying to make ends meet and can't spare a feeling.
I know many people are so stressed out and trying to work with nothing [no feelings to spare] left, I think that is part of the phenonmenon. I have realized making friends here isnt going to happen. The culture of this town is night and day from my old town, they are on opposite sides of the state. I just do not like the culture here. Even going out, times I can, the people are so shut down and do not even seem to have the relationships with others that were exsistent in my old small town. Yeah NYC and Vermont there would be a world of difference there that is for sure. My father is from New Jersey, I always wonder how I would have gotten on there.
Ive heard the South is far friendlier. I know I want to be in a small town again even if I cant make it back to my old one, working class people who are poor with some time and community involvement, will relate better to disabled woman then corporate people who have no time to even have friends.
One lady from Colorado told me the more north and west you get in my state, the more the culture changes, I thought that was interesting.
I think a lot has to do with political correctness and people being so easily offended that talking with non-family can be very stilted. Once someone says "hello, how are you", what else can they say? You can no longer discuss politics, religion, most jokes are out. In the workplace two people cannot discuss anything if there's a chance a third party is listening in and could in some way be offended with what either says.
I think a lot has to do with political correctness and people being so easily offended that talking with non-family can be very stilted. Once someone says "hello, how are you", what else can they say? You can no longer discuss politics, religion, most jokes are out. In the workplace two people cannot discuss anything if there's a chance a third party is listening in and could in some way be offended with what either says.
Hey add in family too...I have some political opinions I am afraid to share. {one time I almost got thrown out of my grandmothers living room for a more conservative political opinion} You are right today the stupid PC code junk has made many people afraid to share how they really feel about anything. At work, say one very mild thing, and you can get your butt tossed out. I thik it has been a very poor development in America. Where has free speech and individuality GONE?
A lot of this "anti-emotion" movement can also be attributed to technology. Look at what cell phones can do now with music, internet, and text messaging. Turn on the television and some cable networks have upwards of 300 channels. Dozens of new movies coming out each week and advertisements on everything we see telling us what to buy. We have become a nation thats entire entertainment system is to just sit down and shut off the brain entirely. They tell you what to do, what to buy, and how to act. No need at all anymore for independent thought or any type of cognitive brain functions. Who needs to talk when you can just lay in your pajamas for days at a time in bed texting? I've noticed people who text often are usually socially retarded. Who the hell buys kids cell phones anyhow? Talk about stupid parenting, make the kid get a job at least for ****s sake!
A lot of this "anti-emotion" movement can also be attributed to technology. Look at what cell phones can do now with music, internet, and text messaging. Turn on the television and some cable networks have upwards of 300 channels. Dozens of new movies coming out each week and advertisements on everything we see telling us what to buy. We have become a nation thats entire entertainment system is to just sit down and shut off the brain entirely. They tell you what to do, what to buy, and how to act. No need at all anymore for independent thought or any type of cognitive brain functions. Who needs to talk when you can just lay in your pajamas for days at a time in bed texting? I've noticed people who text often are usually socially retarded. Who the hell buys kids cell phones anyhow? Talk about stupid parenting, make the kid get a job at least for ****s sake!
I was just having this exact discussion. Technology sure has come with a high price, gone are the days when ppl actually had to leave the house to be social. This is quite scary, imo.
I was just having this exact discussion. Technology sure has come with a high price, gone are the days when ppl actually had to leave the house to be social. This is quite scary, imo.
Yeah I forgot to add the internet to that too. Who needs to leave the house when you can join a chatroom, use facebook or myspace, or just play video games all day online in world of warcraft.
I was reading a book about entertainment, and it said that almost every home had a piano until the prevalence of record players and radios. People used to have to actively entertain themselves--they knew how to play and sing and create. Technology made it so that people sit and look at things (not each other) to be entertained.
Theres a multitude of things it could be blamed on. Generational,
technological, even modern meds. The ground work was laid a long time
ago for the current generation, grass roots movements, feminists,
civil rights activists, the list could go on and on. Modern meds play a big part too,
today anyone of us could fall under some diagnoses needing meds.
We're in different times.
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