Why do kids and teens bully one another? (generation, legal, radical)
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Bullying – Teens in school cause girl to hang herself after being harassed for months, is just one of several cases of teens who are bullied at schools across the country.
The question is why? I know that many years ago while going to public school bulling was almost unheard of and never got to this point where kids today are killing themselves or others. What’s happening today?
My thoughts are simply that today kids (teens) are imitating the adults that they see in their communities, on TV news, and in their own homes. There is more violence that is in the media and adults arguing with each other then years ago. I can’t tell you how often I hear adults in the coffee shop talking politics, or sports and arguing over issues or points of importance. Do teens also see this and feel that it’s normal? They hear or see some of the shows that talk political issues or the news with comments about political issues and people arguing, fighting, yelling and more. Are teens taking these moments that they see and hear as being grown up like an adult? Should programming in the media do things differently and stop broadcasting some of the radical talk shows that are on the air?
Is bullying just the first step into adulthood and then when of age they can join a militia? It seems that this country is going down a road and making too many wrong turns. As adults we have children who are watching and listening to what we do. I’m worried that they (teens) are seeing a very ugly group of adults.
I just started reading a book called, "Hold On To Your Kids". It talks about the rapid changes that have gone on in our society based on economics (dual income families, job relocation breaking apart extended families, etc.) which have also changed the way that children form and hold attachments. The author notes that the need to form attachments is physiological but the culture that we live in has changed so much that children are now forming stronger attachments with their peers then with their parents.
He compares the primary attachment figure to a compass. If the compass is a parent or other caring adult like a grandparent then they will have some experience to guide the child and will pass down guidance and culture vertically from one generation to the next. When the compass becomes a peer, it's more like the blind leading the blind and culture gets passed on horizontally from peer to peer. Peers lack the unconditional love that a parent has for a child making relationships more shallow and volatile. When child loses or is betrayed by a primary attachment figure, the effects can be devastating and we see things like teen suicide from bullying.
I'm still reading and digesting what I've read but so far it's an interesting book.
It's gotten really bad lately. I mean, I remember people used to isolate me when I was in elementary school, but it wasn't as bad as it is now. (And I was in elementary school only six or seven years ago) In my city, there was a story in the newspaper about an eight year old boy who was bullied and tried to kill himself by jumping off the roof of his school. Eight freaking years old and he tried to take his own life.
Yeah, bullying has always existed, but it's certainly gotten more vicious now than it was when I was little, mostly because, I think, when a kid gets home and opens his email, or checks his facebook, he can be bombarded with absolutely hostile stuff from his classmates. When you feel like, even at home, kids can still bully you, then I think that causes really big problems because the kid feels like he has nowhere to escape the bullies.
Look at what adults watch on TV, hear on the radio, and read in the newspaper. Most of it is trash talk of political and sports issues. When I was growing up there wasn’t this height of animosity in society, it just wasn’t in the news. Yes there were problems and issues then but nothing like what we see or hear today. Society was tolerant of one another more then today. I’d never heard of a commentator on the radio telling people to get armed and ready for action with regards to a political issue of the day. Today commentators “insight rage” in their audiences, and adults listen to it ~ and so will the teens hear the same hate talk.
The schools allow it today!!! There are so many legal hoops that the schools have to jump through in order to give each individual student 'equal' rights, and this in turn causes schools to do nothing and because their hands are tied. We left a school where my daughter was bullied by a girl in her class and because the girl was ED (Emotionally disabled) the school did nothing! This girl (mind you this was in the 2nd grade) threatened to "cut [my daughter's] throat open" and nothing was done. Then the following year, my daughter was put in a class with a boy who had molested (put his hands down the pants of a female student) a girl in the 2nd grade. We lived in a nice area too! When we moved to the area, I lived in what was conisidered the "nicer part of town" with the best school in the district, according to parents and test scores! When I brought these cases and several others to the attention of the school board, I was told that "every student has a right to learn in a public setting." Really? Even if my daughter is at risk? But according to them, yes! We had several friends who opted out of the public school system for their children and put them in private school for K-5.
So, back to the OP, the schools allow bad behavior which in turn, leaves the students and parents helpless!
Bullys feel better about themselves when humiliating others. Simple really. They are insecure or depressed or feel like they dont fit in so they pick on others.
When you have people like Nancy Grace on television promoting less thinking of facts and operating on pure emotion then your going to have problems. The message that is being sent is that it is ok for people to operate purely on emotions.
Because they are learning from their life experience that it can be very profitable for the strong to take advantage of and exploit the weak. They are constantly encouraged to "get ahead", and that means getting ahead of somebody else. Each person is a rung on the ladder of "success", and you rise by stepping on them. With more experience, they will learn to do it with more subtlety, so it won't be called bullying.
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