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LONDON, July 17 (UPI) -- The replacement of traditional cork stoppers in wine bottles by screw-cap tops is destroying forests and animal habitats, ecologists claim.
Cork suppliers and environmentalists say the change is threatening the 5 million acres of cork forests across Portugal, Spain, North Africa and Italy that are sustained through industry management, The Daily Telegraph reported Friday.
It would seem the cork flooring industry, among others, would help continue the demand for this renewable resource. I've seen plenty of wines with the plastic "corks" as well. Why did they leave these out of the article?
Whenever I see the words "ecologists claim" I get ready for fairy tales of complaints and idiotic claims. I'm ready for an article like this one:
Newsline Sacramento:
Ecologists claim ecologists are damaging to the environment.
In a recent double duck blind study by the state of California, the study itself was found to be disruptive to the mating of ducks, and a ban on further studies is being promoted by the grassroots "Give a *uck, Save a Duck" society.
Broad legislation has been introduced in Washington, Oregon and California giving protected birds the same rights as humans and corporations, providing retirement benefits for older fowl, protecting Wild Duck, loons and turkeys from further studies that disrupt the resting and mating of any loon or turkey in state government. The election of the first waterfowl representative is expected within the next two mating seasons, with funding for the effort by the goose that laid the golden egg. In anticipation of this, California proposition 12, introduced by Mr. Gage, proposes moving hunting season dates to October 1st through November 3rd, and broadening the species hunted to include unlimited bag limits on all birdbrained representatives in government. A counter proposition sponsored by PETA would eliminate both the hunting season and all humans in government, converting state government to a Parliament of the Birds.
A representative of one of the largest employers in the state, a Mr. Donald Duck, commented "It seems a little daffy to me, and I note that illegal chickens would be given state services, adding to the cost, but I'm all for a Parliament of the Birds. It worked before, and there is no reason to think it can't work now." Local chickens attending his speech clucked in assent. One was heard to comment to another, "This is great, and we've only scratched the surface. I can't wait to get out of group housing and cross the road."
Pigeons at the state house were cooing at the news, and riots broke out as they left their normal perches on statues and began targeting representatives that they wanted to oust from office. Future elections in the state are destined to bring the idea of "mud-slinging" to a whole new level.
Wiley Coyote was seen to be livid at the prospect of a bird controlled government, and attempted to write and hold up signs expressing his displeasure, but was struck from above by a giant metal trapazoid labeled "16 tons." The perpetrator was not caught on camera, but a "Meep meep was faintly heard from a nearby receding cloud of dust.
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