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George, I'm not singling out your post, but you sound like one of my parents regarding this, who made the comment about the "forever" factor. Since this communication is between two people, how would it come back and bite me? Just looking for an example. I live about 1,000 miles away from this "friend" and will never see him again. I'm sure all the condolences he receives will counterbalance such a letter.
It comes back to bite you because every spiteful, malicious act that you willfully do erodes your character, and makes it easier to do the next one until you are simply a self-engrossed sh*thead.
Then why bother sending such a letter except to make you feel better to have been able to say what you always wanted to say? Let it go. The person is dead, let that be your "victory". Why cause someone needless bad feelings? When my mother died, I called all her old friends and they told me what they had really thought of my mother and I was devestated even more! So please don't go there. Let the person RIP and let the relative go on about their life clueless.
They were horrible people to tell you bad things after your mother died.
They were wrong.
It comes back to bite you because every spiteful, malicious act that you willfully do erodes your character, and makes it easier to do the next one until you are simply a self-engrossed sh*thead.
Amen. I like your thinking. Spite is often cloaked in so-called "honesty" or "forthrightness". It isn't either - it is what it is, and it only makes the person initiating or perpetuating a malicious act or statement smaller.
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot ....instead of sending a condolence card, is it ok to instead send a brief letter telling them what you candidly thought of this person?
No, it's not okay to do this. Two wrongs still don't make a right.
...regarding someone you detest, and the person sending it knew you detested this person, instead of sending a condolence card, is it ok to instead send a brief letter telling them what you candidly thought of this person? (This piggybacks onto the "when someone you don't like dies" thread).
No. Do not even respond. Why perpetuate something like that.
Just wondering. Thanks for the input. Some people who are KNOWN QUANTITIES are subjected to extensive and negative scrutiny over their deceased loved ones. For them, it would be an unrelenting source of additional pain.
Funerals and the rituals surrounding them are for the living. If you know any of the grieving family members, the classy thing to do would be to send your condolences to them. Just keep the way you really felt about him to yourself.
The high road is always the best road in the end.
The person for which you hold such animosity will not be in any condition to read your diatribe so what's the sense
Correct, they're dead.
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