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To many of you who have read my posts, I thought I would finally sit down and update my story.
For those of you that aren't familiar with my situation, briefly.....my husband of 32 years passed away on 4-1-12. He had severe emphysema & COPD and had been going downhil for the last 3 years. I had anticipated his death all those years, as he was in the hospital with pneumonia 6 times in the last 3 years. When death came, in the night while I was sleeping in another room, it was so hard.....the feelings I had were new, raw, and unexpected.
In the course of reading and finding support here on this forum, I learned that I should not make any major decisions for a year, give myself time to heal, not rush into any decisions. However, I found that I saw my husband everywhere in the house: in the living room sitting on his end of the sofa, in the kitchen cooking, passing by his bedroom to go into the living room, I saw him laying in his bed for years, so weak, and then laying there dead when I found him that Sunday morning. I smelled him, I saw his hats at the backdoor, and while "feeling" his presence was not a bad thing, I found it increasingly difficult to remain in that house.
So I decided to change everything in the house: sell the sofa, change the carpet, drapes and paint, make what was "our" house into "my" house. Sell his bedroom furniture, change the bedroom...... Then, one day something came over me to look at a house FOR SALE on the private road behind me. I was not thinking about moving from "our" house, but something drew me to that house. So I looked at it online, seemed interesting (same size house), and got with the realtor to take a look at it. Just look. What could that hurt, right? If I lived in the house, I would be neighbors with my newly "adopted" family (3 different houses), that encouraged me to go to their Lutheran church (which I do and absolutely LOVE).
My "family" encouraged me to think seriously about the house, where I could be close by to them and they be there for me if I needed anything, now and down the road.
The house was in rough shape, neglected for years, but I saw potential. It needed new carpet, painting, etc. I prayed about it, and asked the Lord to help me make this decision: if I am meant to stay in the old house, I will change things up. If I am meant to live in the new house, make mine sell so I can buy it.
MY HOUSE SOLD IN 2 WEEKS!! Long story short, I am now living in my new house and simply love it. It is warm and cozy, and I have many reminders of "our" life together in this new house, and many new things that I have bought for it. I painted, put in new flooring, built a new covered deck out back, trimmed some trees, etc. I could not have done it without my new family's help.
My point in all this....other than to give you an update....is to trust in the Good Lord and ask Him to guide your life. I was willing to stay in the old house (as all the advice says), but was curious about making a new start too. I think it all worked out as it should have, and I trusted that I was doing God's Will. He made it all happen. The entire process was smooth and easy.
If you want to make a change in your life, don't be afraid. Don't be influenced by what anyone else says or thinks. If you have an opportunity to do something different, go for it. Life is short. Have a backup or alternative plan, pray for guidance, and see what is in store for you.
Thanks for listening to my rather long post!! Any questions or comments are welcomed!
tngirl, I am so happy to hear your update about your lovely new home. It pleases me no end that all has gone well and smoothly for you. I'm glad you can show us an exception to the year "rule".
tngirl, it is nice to know you have had the best possible outcome from your move and to know you are so pleased with your new surroundings! And having new "family" is a blessing all by itself.
Kudos to you for pressing on - may you have many happy years in your new abode!
Good for you, tn! My dad was the same way about living in his house. Mama's stuff was everywhere. So he gave my wife and I the house and went to assisted living (he's 90 and they were married 66 years). We were afraid of what he would think of what we were doing to the house, painting, new curtains, etc. He drives over to visit from time to time and seems happy with how it's looking. That makes it easier on us. Glad things are working out for you.
Good for you, tn! My dad was the same way about living in his house. Mama's stuff was everywhere. So he gave my wife and I the house and went to assisted living (he's 90 and they were married 66 years). We were afraid of what he would think of what we were doing to the house, painting, new curtains, etc. He drives over to visit from time to time and seems happy with how it's looking. That makes it easier on us. Glad things are working out for you.
Thank you kygman! It's nice when a plan comes together, isn't it?
Praises to our Lord for the blessing of your new home and family.
Thank you for sharing your story again, (some of need to be reminded!) and all the encouragement
you bring to this Forum!
Continued blessings TNGirl.
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