Difficult day blindsided me...

[Marcy1210]

Thanks everyone. Today was better. I was really overwhelmed yesterday. Anniversaries are hard for me. I struggled with my parent's anniversary dates, also. The majority of the time I am moving forward, I just hit a dip in the road sometimes. Thanks for being here...

[animalcrazy]

What a heartbreaking story. My girlfriends son killed himself at 22 and I was with her on his second anniversary. We took her to the beach and kept her as distracted as possible. Nothing can ease the pain except time. Try to stay busy and engaged. A big cyber hug for you.

[Ohiogirl81]

I'm sorry you got blindsided. It hits you when you least expect, doesn't it? Crying and venting are not unhealthy ways to roll with it than bottling all that sorrow and emotion when it comes.

I'm so dreading the first anniversary of my spouse's death that I offered to babysit my teenage niece and nephew while their parents go off on a weekend trip. My sister thought I was nuts for offering, but it's hard to mope and be sad when those crazy kids are around. They'll be just what I need; I sit around and cry all alone enough as it is.

[tlkilgore]

Marcy, I can't imagine what that must feel like and how you must miss your husband...actually I have imagined it, because my husband and I are close like that. However, I don't "know" how you are feeling, but I hope you will find comfort here with those who do. Even for those who don't share the same experiences, we still care. I will pray for you a peaceful heart.

[LibraGirl123]

Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81

I'm so dreading the first anniversary of my spouse's death that I offered to babysit my teenage niece and nephew while their parents go off on a weekend trip. My sister thought I was nuts for offering, but it's hard to mope and be sad when those crazy kids are around. They'll be just what I need; I sit around and cry all alone enough as it is.

Many people find that the time leading up to the anniversary is often worse than the actual day itself.

[Keeper]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} It is never easy. It has been almost 10 years for me and yet at times it seems like just yesterday. I dread the holidays too since we were married on Christmas Eve. You know you have those traditions and we use to have a glass of Kahula and sleep in front of the fireplace next to the Xmas tree.

I don't even put up a tree, it is no fun to put one up by yourself.

It does get better but those certain days will always bring back memories

[coldPlay]

wow, I wish the corporate world were as kind and warm as you all. {hugs}

[NoNansea]

Marcy~ I'm so sorry you have to live such a day over and over. I'm glad you told us. I think it helps to write about it. It sounds as though you and your husband had a wonderfully warm and loving relationship! Those memories will live on as well. My heart goes out to you and to the others here who have lost loved ones too.

[Keeper]

I agree writing about it helps especially with caring strangers. We aren't going to judge you as we all have experienced the loss of a love one.

I also found helping others who are going through some of the things I went through also helped me knowing I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

There are some good books that helped me too.
I wasn't ready to say goodbye
The Grief Recovery handbook.

[Marcy1210]

Keeper, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye", along with "Widow to Widow" were my "go to" books every day for the first year and a half. They are so worn and dog eared from constantly reading and re-reading them. I wrote a lot for the first year as well. I did it all on the computer and kept it in a Word document that I look at once and a while. I really see my evolution as time goes by.