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I feel sad after reading about the loss of your son in a car accident. I have just one child, a son, who is five and I can't imagine something tragic like that happening. I am always worried about him as I was such a reckless, stupid child/teenager/young adult.
I don't know how you feel about this but...God bless you in the future years.
Well, don't get into fear about it. I know losing a child is kinda every parent's fear. Things happen, but they USUALLY don't. I don't know if that is any consolation, but try to put it in perspective. MOST people do NOT lose their children. It happens, but thankfully, it is relatively rare. Also, let me add something else to clarify-my son was NOT driving but I don't believe the other teen driver was at fault either. I won't go into the details here but just suffice to say, this was a freak accident that occurred.
Thank you for your condolences.
My son died on Thursday April 26. 32 weeks ago on Thursday. He was 28. He left behind a pregnant wife.
I wrote this in August. It is long. Eight parts long but I had a lot to say. There's nothing hopeful or inspirational or insightful in it that would really help anyone. It's just the story of a mother and her now dead child.
I've been reading threads on here for months and feel as though I have little in common. I don't believe in God or signs or that he is "out there" somewhere. He's just dead. And there's no way to justify it or make sense of it or explain it. And there is no peace.
I don't know if I'm really allowed to post a blog address and if I'm not, please just delete. Part 1.
I am not a religious or ever been from the camp that everything happens for a reason but we have friends who just lost their baby to SID. I did ask myself Why them if they are good people? Why if the probability of losing your child is so low? Even though I know it's irrational, this sense of fairness never seems to leave my thoughts. The question is there and I know the answer but I still keep asking it. I guess it's human nature
I am not a religious or ever been from the camp that everything happens for a reason but we have friends who just lost their baby to SID. I did ask myself Why them if they are good people? Why if the probability of losing your child is so low? Even though I know it's irrational, this sense of fairness never seems to leave my thoughts. The question is there and I know the answer but I still keep asking it. I guess it's human nature
Yes, I read about a blogger whose friend lost her son to SID.
You have seen it in the news: JonBenet Ramsey, Jonathan Brandis, Ennis Cosby, and Mary Jo Kopechne. Then we experienced Columbine, Virginia Tech, and Newton. Lots of our HS classmates suicided or were murdered. When this happened in China, parents panicked they had no one to watch them when they got older since they lost one or both kids.
I have not yet read your blog but plan to shortly. I, too, lost a child unexpectedly 9 months ago. My daughter was in her 30's when she died on May 8th 2012. She left behind her husband and 3 young children. My grief is as raw today as it was on the day I learned of her death. I will never be the same - there is a hole in my heart that will never be healed. I cry when I wake up each morning only to realize I have to face another day without her. I cry on my way to work, I cry on my way home.
I do not know what I believe but there is part of me that believes there HAS to be more than this earthly existence. I don't believe in the traditional "heaven" per se, but feel that our "energy" (spirit) leaves our body when it dies and travels someplace. No clue where. I do not "feel" my daughter nearby, I do not sense her presence. I've had a couple of strange events occur that makes me believe she is out there somewhere.
I recently read a book called "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian Weiss, MD and this actually gave me hope there is something else other than our life on earth, It's a quick easy read.
Anyway, I am truly sorry for your loss and understand your pain.
I have not yet read your blog but plan to shortly. I, too, lost a child unexpectedly 9 months ago. My daughter was in her 30's when she died on May 8th 2012. She left behind her husband and 3 young children. My grief is as raw today as it was on the day I learned of her death. I will never be the same - there is a hole in my heart that will never be healed. I cry when I wake up each morning only to realize I have to face another day without her. I cry on my way to work, I cry on my way home.
I do not know what I believe but there is part of me that believes there HAS to be more than this earthly existence. I don't believe in the traditional "heaven" per se, but feel that our "energy" (spirit) leaves our body when it dies and travels someplace. No clue where. I do not "feel" my daughter nearby, I do not sense her presence. I've had a couple of strange events occur that makes me believe she is out there somewhere.
I recently read a book called "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian Weiss, MD and this actually gave me hope there is something else other than our life on earth, It's a quick easy read.
Anyway, I am truly sorry for your loss and understand your pain.
I don't come into this section of the forum very often. It's easier to throw trash at people in the political section. It's been 11 months. I still cry every day as well. On the way to work. On the way home. Sometimes I wish that I believed that there is more than "this" life and that my child is somewhere else. But I don't. He's just dead.
Sometimes I wish that I believed in God. If I did I could believe that my precious son was sitting with him. I could look to God to provide comfort and relief and understanding. If nothing else I would have someone to be angry at, for allowing my child to die. But I don't.
Thank you for your condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss.
juneaubound...April 26th will be here soon...Anniversary dates can be rough...So sorry you lost your son. I'm sending you a hug and I wish I could do more...I lost both of my sons so I know how rough it can be to lose a child... Sorry (and sad) for everyone who has lost a child. (Or other loved ones too.)
juneaubound...April 26th will be here soon...Anniversary dates can be rough...So sorry you lost your son. I'm sending you a hug and I wish I could do more...I lost both of my sons so I know how rough it can be to lose a child... Sorry (and sad) for everyone who has lost a child. (Or other loved ones too.)
Thank you CArizona. Yes.....it's been very hard. It's still very hard and I suppose it will be hard for a lifetime. I appreciate your kind words.
juneaubound...I will always think about you and your son on April 26th for the rest of my life. (And send you a mental hug and positive thoughts.)...Back in 1997 my husband and I adopted a neighbor's pregnant cat. It's a long story but we decided to keep "mom" and her 4 kittens and had them all spayed and neutered...The kittens were born on April 26th...Everyone died except for "Little T." He is the only one left out of his family of five...His brother "Silky" passed away in January and "Little T" has been depressed off and on...I have one of my son's cats left but she has no use for "Little T" and never wanted to bond with him...Anyway when I celebrate "Little T's" birthday I'll be thinking of you and your son too...And even afterwards...April 26th will never be just an average or regular day to me either...Both my son's birthdays and my wedding anniversary are all coming up in May. Sure miss everyone...I'm so sorry you lost your son. I'll be thinking about you on April 26th for sure.
After reading what Tami, CA and others had posted about your writing, I finally found it. You have a gift for writing, photography and more. Mostly, you share experiences at such a personal level, you allow me to be the silent observer.
Little did I know you had already written the thread connecting to your Blog and those I call my friends here knew you before I did. I could be embarrassed I thought I knew you first, but no need when you were both seeking comfort and solace while providing much for others.
Tomorrow is Sean's birthday. I honor you for bringing this unique son into the world. I will be sending you a PM, neighbor, as I want to write more that doesn't belong posted openly.
Perhaps some of the qualities and abilities you have to care about others are a result of your experiences. I don't have answers of why, how and more. I can only offer caring and sadness that you lost Sean. I will remember both of you tomorrow.
I somehow hope your new chosen home, not that far from where I am writing this, allows you some new memory or perspective about you being Sean's mother. Or a new way to remember his birthday.
Sending you a huge virtual hug to the Deseret and the Buttes.
I don't know how I missed this thread when it was first posted, but I did.
I appreciate that you shared your wonderful thoughts -- so touching and a beautiful memorial to your son.
Thank you for helping us get to know your son, because that is what you have done. I feel I got to know him through your eyes and that is something beautiful, indeed.
Sending hugs to you. I am so sorry that your son is no longer here.
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A Gift for Writing
