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i was watching the george jones funeral today and Im wondering how many of these people will still be contacting his widow a yr from now ? I hope a few of them will remain and be good friends to her . I sure hope so .
... What, if anything, is an appropriate thing to say? I am planning on visiting her on Friday. There are no words, I suspect.
Nothing really to say to ease her sorrow. Just being there and supporting her is going to be enough. If she wants to talk she will then all you have to do is listen. Hold her hand, give her a hug, let her literally cry on your shoulder just don't offer "advice".
There' one thing you should avoid.....sometimes you may be asked "why". Just say something vague about how we can never know how another's mind works. Please don't try to explain why it happened.
... What, if anything, is an appropriate thing to say? I am planning on visiting her on Friday. There are no words, I suspect.
Really, there is nothing you can say. Close ones will blame themselves, and there is no right. It's a hopeless feeling with no right awnser, same feelings the person probably had before he committed the act to end his life.
I would let her ask the questions, and answer with emotions, not logic. There is no logic in the act. I would just grieve with her and let her know you feel her pain and the deep sorrow. Talk about the good things of the husband. That he will not be forgotten. Then focus primarily on her, her hope, her emotional state.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Yup, engage the heart, arms, hands, and emotions, disengage the tongue.
You don't have to say / know / feel. Just listen be'cuz you may NOT know any of the above (EVER).
Be there, FOREVER and be accessible and write LOTS of notes / cards. Preferrably weekly for a yr and 1/2. Buy 75 cards and stamps and make up the envelopes TODAY.
... What, if anything, is an appropriate thing to say? I am planning on visiting her on Friday. There are no words, I suspect.
Not a damned thing you can say can make her feel better. Be there with your ears, your arms, and your heart, rather than with your mouth. Even more important, when everyone else has gone back to their daily lives, keep this person in your thoughts and continue being a source of support for her, even when it seems that she is doing okay. For one never knows when one is merely putting on a brave face.
Just say "I'm here to listen to anything you have to say."
That's it. I can't imagine the pain.
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