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Is it "normal" for family members to want the arrangements they sent to the funeral back? My Mom just buried her husband (July would have been 25 yrs.), and she's gotten calls from some that didn't get their arrangement back, I got an email from another member asking why they didn't get theirs back (I'm not telling her this one).
I'm just shocked! We traveled up there to help her, be with her through the viewing and funeral, etc. - She did tell a sister of her husband that she didn't care who got them, but seriously??? shouldn't people have asked? We saw folks she didn't know carrying out the flowers, not a single person came by (this was during the after funeral luncheon).
I want to hear the answer to this one if you ever figure it out. I have seen immediate family take an arrangement home to put on the grave later when it was silk, but returning flowers to the one that "gave" them is a bit strange. Usually taking the silk arrangements is done the next day or two. Usually the flowers are left on the grave as a pretty cover.
Could they somehow have gotten the idea that is what your mother wanted?
My sister-in-law let everybody know she was planning to plant a prayer garden in memory of my brother and many people brought live flowering bushes. I hope this was a communication gone wrong because surely no one would be that rude.
I want to hear the answer to this one if you ever figure it out. I have seen immediate family take an arrangement home to put on the grave later when it was silk, but returning flowers to the one that "gave" them is a bit strange. Usually taking the silk arrangements is done the next day or two. Usually the flowers are left on the grave as a pretty cover.
Could they somehow have gotten the idea that is what your mother wanted?
My sister-in-law let everybody know she was planning to plant a prayer garden in memory of my brother and many people brought live flowering bushes. I hope this was a communication gone wrong because surely no one would be that rude.
What a lovely idea - a prayer garden!
I don't know about silk flower arrangements . . . I never have seen them used but maybe I wasn't paying attention! I would think those, especially, were meant to stay at the cemetery, or be taken home, then rotated with other arrangements to beautify the grave site.
I am going to ask around and see what the ministers I know say they see happening these days.
I have a long time widow friend that seems to have been targeted.
But now the latest is that the widow received a letter from the Social Security saying they made a mistake on her benefits she was drawing from her late husband and this months deposit would be $277. less and the remaining benefits would be $27. per month less. Some days you just can't win. She is 78, still works just under 30 hours a week to make house payments. Fortunately her older son, DNL, and grandson moved in with her to share expenses.
I have a long time widow friend that seems to have been targeted.
But now the latest is that the widow received a letter from the Social Security saying they made a mistake on her benefits she was drawing from her late husband and this months deposit would be $277. less and the remaining benefits would be $27. per month less. Some days you just can't win. She is 78, still works just under 30 hours a week to make house payments. Fortunately her older son, DNL, and grandson moved in with her to share expenses.
Do you suppose this is the new "NORM"?
"Targeted" how, Bluff? With flowers at the cemetery her husband is buried at?
How long has this man been dead? This month's payment was $277 less? How much was his benefit to begin with?? How much "extra" money was she getting a month? Unbelievable. They do that to a 78 yr old woman yet....umm...never mind. I'm sure you know what I'm thinking. God Bless her for still working p/t.
Yes, I think this is the new "norm". People can not survive without help anymore. Maybe it's not so "new", just a shock to our culture. I think lots and lots of people in other parts of the world live this way "normally". It's just "OUR" culture that seems to embrace families living apart.
I wish your widow friend and her family the best of luck with their new situation. I know from experience how hard it is to move back home, especially with spouse and child. It didn't work for me because of my lousy ex-husband.
"Targeted" how, Bluff? With flowers at the cemetery her husband is buried at?
How long has this man been dead? This month's payment was $277 less? How much was his benefit to begin with?? How much "extra" money was she getting a month? Unbelievable. They do that to a 78 yr old woman yet....umm...never mind. I'm sure you know what I'm thinking. God Bless her for still working p/t.
Yes, I think this is the new "norm". People can not survive without help anymore. Maybe it's not so "new", just a shock to our culture. I think lots and lots of people in other parts of the world live this way "normally". It's just "OUR" culture that seems to embrace families living apart.
I wish your widow friend and her family the best of luck with their new situation. I know from experience how hard it is to move back home, especially with spouse and child. It didn't work for me because of my lousy ex-husband.
In keeping on topic of the new "NORM". The target being a way the public sector gets more of our money while we try to retire?
Originally there were 5 dating college couples. Two couples are still happly married while the other three couples have 2 widowers and one widow. So I have known the widow for over 50+ years but only use the information she volenteers. Last month she said she got a bill from the IRS for $2600 which turns out to be the exact amount of her savings account. She and her tax prepairer meet at their local IRS office who can't help them and suggests going back home and calling the number on the bill. Having to work the next morning she has her son call the IRS number and was told that that was their mistake and if his mom would send a check in for $111. it would clear her account. She sent the check and got to keep her $2600. savings but still wonders why she owed the $111. This month the social security saga happens. It just makes one wonder what is going on with the public sector?
Some had sent silk flowers, some cut flower arrangements, some sent potted plants... Apparently, those that sent "silk" flowers did so with the intent of receiving them back after.....
Tackola!!!!
You GIVE floral offerings at a funeral...what part of give do some of these buffoons not understand? If you are taking the extraordinary step of LOANING a floral offering, then it should be prominently labelled: WITH OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHY. HOWEVER THE FLOWERS ARE A LOAN, NOT A GIFT.
In keeping on topic of the new "NORM". The target being a way the public sector gets more of our money while we try to retire?
Originally there were 5 dating college couples. Two couples are still happly married while the other three couples have 2 widowers and one widow. So I have known the widow for over 50+ years but only use the information she volenteers. Last month she said she got a bill from the IRS for $2600 which turns out to be the exact amount of her savings account. She and her tax prepairer meet at their local IRS office who can't help them and suggests going back home and calling the number on the bill. Having to work the next morning she has her son call the IRS number and was told that that was their mistake and if his mom would send a check in for $111. it would clear her account. She sent the check and got to keep her $2600. savings but still wonders why she owed the $111. This month the social security saga happens. It just makes one wonder what is going on with the public sector?
WTH???? Sounds like a scam to me, Bluff. The IRS couldn't help them???? SHE had to pay $111 in order to keep her savings account? I don't buy this story. THEE most powerful and feared government agency can not help this woman with THEIR mistake? Na-ah. Something smells rotten in Denmark IMO. I'd stay away from it, dear. Listen to her, nod politely but do NOT get involved!
BTW, the perennial Mums my cousin and his wife gave to me at Dad's wake are still blooming away for the 8th straight year. Now that's how it should be done.
You GIVE floral offerings at a funeral...what part of give do some of these buffoons not understand? If you are taking the extraordinary step of LOANING a floral offering, then it should be prominently labelled: WITH OUR DEEPEST SYMPATHY. HOWEVER THE FLOWERS ARE A LOAN, NOT A GIFT.
WTH???? Sounds like a scam to me, Bluff. The IRS couldn't help them???? SHE had to pay $111 in order to keep her savings account? I don't buy this story. THEE most powerful and feared government agency can not help this woman with THEIR mistake? Na-ah. Something smells rotten in Denmark IMO. I'd stay away from it, dear. Listen to her, nod politely but do NOT get involved!
BTW, the perennial Mums my cousin and his wife gave to me at Dad's wake are still blooming away for the 8th straight year. Now that's how it should be done.
As usual I believe I will take your sound advice, lil sis. I try to "stay under the radar".
I had some of my wifes funeral mums that I planted last for 3 years. Glad to hear yours are still going strong.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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Originally Posted by Bluff_Dweller
In keeping on topic of the new "NORM". The target being a way the public sector gets more of our money while we try to retire?
Originally there were 5 dating college couples. Two couples are still happly married while the other three couples have 2 widowers and one widow. So I have known the widow for over 50+ years but only use the information she volenteers. Last month she said she got a bill from the IRS for $2600 which turns out to be the exact amount of her savings account. She and her tax prepairer meet at their local IRS office who can't help them and suggests going back home and calling the number on the bill. Having to work the next morning she has her son call the IRS number and was told that that was their mistake and if his mom would send a check in for $111. it would clear her account. She sent the check and got to keep her $2600. savings but still wonders why she owed the $111. This month the social security saga happens. It just makes one wonder what is going on with the public sector?
This was a major scam. The son didn't talk to someone from the IRS, just someone who "claimed" he was IRS. Bet he had a foreign accent, too. I'm surprised the tax preparer and the IRS agent didn't recognize this as a scam. There are hundreds of these type of scams going around. Now, the guy who claimed he was IRS has this woman's bank account info as well as $111.00. She needs to watch her bank account balance as it may disappear when the scammers empty it, or she may become a victim of identity theft.
Whoever these scammers were, they just made $111.00 off that woman, and the hundreds, if not thousands of others they bilked with this phony IRS scam. I would tell that woman to report this to the police IMMEDIATELY.
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How much "extra" money was she getting a month? Unbelievable. They do that to a 78 yr old woman yet....umm...never mind. I'm sure you know what I'm thinking. 
God Bless her for still working p/t.
