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I find that people without some history of depression have an almost impossible time understanding how anyone could commit suicide.
I suppose it is hard to understand. It is not wrong to commit suicide though. Those of you with anger towards a person that you've lost to suicide should not be angry at all but instead should be happy that the person you've lost no longer has to endure the pain, anguish and frustration involved with living their life.
When a person is tortured day in and day out by their mind and/or nervous system, suicide becomes a way out, an option or an opportunity to be released from the pain. Anyone who does not suffer from mental illness probably will never understand. It would be like a woman trying to explain to a man what it is like to have a vagina or a Lion trying to explain to a dog what it is like to be a Lion.
The reason most people don't know about their loved ones death wish is because it is a feeling that is very private. You would not tell your friends or family all of the loving, caring intimate things you and your lover say to each other during love making and similarly, people with suicidal thoughts are not going to share their plans or feelings about suicide.
For those of you that would like to understand, just try and imagine/appreciate the extreme amount of emotional and sensory pain that a person that is suicidal must endure on a daily basis for them to want to take their own life. To say it another way, that person is in sooooooo much pain that they are willing to commit the ultimate, no going back, no do over, no second thoughts, no second chances action of taking their own life. I want you (the person reading this post) to think about the amount of pain (physical or emotional) you would be willing to endure before you took your own life and imagine someone living with a psychological version of that pain every single day. Do you know how hard it is to go to work every day and be productive when you have mental health issues??? Do you know how hard it is to even get out of bed in the morning when you have mental health issues??
Good post Scottay I would just like to add that in cases of physical illness too where one is left with no quality of life that I can understand them taking their life.When I first started my job I met an elderly lady with severe COPD she could not even walk across the room any more so spent her days sitting watching TV so one day she decided she had had enough as she was not going to get better so she took an OD, sadly her husband came home and she still had a pulse so he rushed her to the hospital and she survived then to add injury to what to her was insult they put her in the psych ward. I will never forget her as I could totally understand why she did what she did and unlike so many others I did not see it as a sin. So many of the patients I have met at work especially those facing terminal illness and even those with mental illness have left a huge imprint on my soul and have taught me so much about life so I do have a much different view of death then my non hospital friends have.
There are two things that always come to my mind when I hear of a suicide.
1. The shallow minded, self centered people that have such a myopic view on life they can only see things through their eyes. These are the same people that won't hesitate to euthanize a dying pet, their best friends, but god forbid if there family member was dying of AIDS and killed himself they would say "what a selfish thing to do you have left us with this huge burden. Don't you know life always gets better just have a better attitude, smile more".
2. Dr. Jack Kevorkian, is a true American hero. He deserves the Nobel Peace Prize not Obama. How dare anyone put this truly, wonderful, caring person in prison. RIP Dr Kevorkian.
This evening was the memorial for my friend. It was a native american Fire ceremony so very different then anything I had been too. He was not native american but was very interested in their culture and very involved with it and the spiritual beliefs of the native americans. This was my first fire ceremony and I found it very interesting and very relaxing and even freeing. There was quite a crowd there and I was not picking up a lot of anger but I did feel a lot of love and hope that his spirit is free now and at peace. It was really nice.I am not big on funerals and neither of my parents were either so we had celebrations of life for each of them and this fire ceremony was more like them then some sad funeral. It was a short drive up the coast in a beautiful canyon and while there was a strong wind off and on which made a few people nervous about it being a fire ceremony ( as yeah we are in fire season here in CA) the fire was in a double ringed fire pit and kept small and controlled. It was very nice and a great send off for his soul.
Afterwards the dog park crowd went out for dinner and toasted our departed friend with our drinks,we will always keep a spot for him on the bench at the park, be at peace my friend
I am of two minds about suicide. What's the First Commandment? THOU SHALT NOT KILL. I believe that means yourself too. Yet I admired Dr. Kovorchian for his courage to help people commit suicide.
I was amazed that my husband did not commit suicide in the end stage of his esphageal cancer. If he weighed 30 lbs I'd be surprised and he was in agony. He had a gun in the house too but he found the courage and strength to see it to the end.
I guess it all comes down to personal choice for the terminally ill and I'm really sad that metal illness causes some to not think in their right mind.
Condolences to Dashdog on the loss of a friend - treasure your memories. Every life has a purpose, and every life should be celebrated. I'm so glad you felt at peace with the ceremony. I know you will miss your friend and I know you are saddened that he will not be with you in body anymore. Peace to you and his family and the extended family at the dog park.
Thanks Sam , I am glad I went and even happier the two men I rode up there with went as those 3 men had become very close and the dog park was something each looked forward too each afternoon. They had become very good buddies and the two guys took the news very hard and were not going to go but they did go. I could see that the fire ceremony helped them come to a closure of sorts though I know they will be missing him for a long time to come.They both were in better spirits on the drive home and at dinner . I do not think any of us will ever really understand the whys but they really were not ours to understand. I just hope he has found the peace he was seeking and his wife and family can one day find some peace with it too.
Fran, just curious where did you get that fact 105 suicides each day cite please, I am interested to read it.
BTW so sorry about the loss of your daughter and the loss others have gone through. Speaking of citations I heard on the news that 90% of all suicides involve someone with mental illness. Will try and find source.
I'm sorry -- I didn't come back to this thread until how.
I can't find my original source but it was government web site and it was from 2009. Here's something much more recent:
I don't think 90% of suicides are mentally ill. I believe that mental health professionals think that's true because a human being's instinct of self preservation is so strong. And I fully think and believe it is strong -- usually -- not always. There are lots of older people -- those who are alone, those who are married, those who are very sick, those who are just tired of living -- who commit suicide and, in the case of married couples, commit murder/suicide. And I know it is very rational (well, at least I think so, because I've known a few).
I'm 64 now. I already know I don't want to live past 75-77. (And that's assuming I stay fairly healthy.) I will not spend the end of my life in a nursing home. Period. And I know how to make sure that doesn't happen, and I am not at all afraid. And I am NOT mentally ill. (Not that I'm aware of, at least. )
But now? Oh, no. I'm LOVING my 60s -- what a GREAT age! I'm not particularly thrilled about what it's doing to my body (not major really -- just losing strength and stamina) -- but I love what has been happening mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And if I find out tomorrow that I have terminal lung cancer -- that's still fine. I've had such a great life. But, under relatively normal circumstances, I'm sticking around for another 12-15 years. So PLEASE no one call the police on me! I am NOT suicidal.
My decision for the future is a very rational one. Frankly, I think my daughter made a fairly rational decision. Don't think my friend did though.
I suppose it is hard to understand. It is not wrong to commit suicide though. Those of you with anger towards a person that you've lost to suicide should not be angry at all but instead should be happy that the person you've lost no longer has to endure the pain, anguish and frustration involved with living their life.
When a person is tortured day in and day out by their mind and/or nervous system, suicide becomes a way out, an option or an opportunity to be released from the pain. Anyone who does not suffer from mental illness probably will never understand. It would be like a woman trying to explain to a man what it is like to have a vagina or a Lion trying to explain to a dog what it is like to be a Lion.
The reason most people don't know about their loved ones death wish is because it is a feeling that is very private. You would not tell your friends or family all of the loving, caring intimate things you and your lover say to each other during love making and similarly, people with suicidal thoughts are not going to share their plans or feelings about suicide.
For those of you that would like to understand, just try and imagine/appreciate the extreme amount of emotional and sensory pain that a person that is suicidal must endure on a daily basis for them to want to take their own life. To say it another way, that person is in sooooooo much pain that they are willing to commit the ultimate, no going back, no do over, no second thoughts, no second chances action of taking their own life. I want you (the person reading this post) to think about the amount of pain (physical or emotional) you would be willing to endure before you took your own life and imagine someone living with a psychological version of that pain every single day. Do you know how hard it is to go to work every day and be productive when you have mental health issues??? Do you know how hard it is to even get out of bed in the morning when you have mental health issues??
Thank you for posting...your words are very powerful.
I remember reading several years ago that the majority of people who commit suicide are suffering from depression, bipolar or schizophrenia. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for these tortured souls. Instead of being angry, I would hope that we could have some compassion for those who are suffering so much, that they can no longer bear to live.
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