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Old 08-31-2013, 10:25 PM
 
867 posts, read 1,588,171 times
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I am going to a memorial tomorrow for a young kid (he was 17) who died in a tragic car accident.

I know his Mom as a friend but she is not a close friend.

I never know what to say at these things, but it's especially hard to know what to say a parent who lost a child. I"m scared I'll say the wrong thing.

Does anyone have any ideas?
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
41,957 posts, read 75,183,468 times
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How sad.

You can't go wrong with "I'm sorry" and a hug or a clasped hand.
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:33 PM
 
26,142 posts, read 31,184,275 times
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My brother and his wife lost their 20 year old son 2 years ago. While the situation is much different because we were close, I wrote and read a poem at the funeral, the anguish they will go through at the funeral will be so hard to bear, a simple, "My heart just breaks for your loss" is sufficient.
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:35 PM
 
2,349 posts, read 5,435,593 times
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Read the others' as they talk to the mom. See how she is dealing with the moment. Maybe she in inconsolable; Maybe she will put up a strong face in public and engage others.

I don't envy you at all. That's going to be a rough day.
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Old 08-31-2013, 11:12 PM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,531,383 times
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If you're not a close friend, keep it short and simple. "I'm sorry for your loss" is always appropriate but it were me I'd add something along the lines of "He was one amazing kid, everyone will miss him". That's what parents of teens and young adults usually need to hear, that their child made an impression and will be missed.
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Old 08-31-2013, 11:20 PM
 
1,409 posts, read 1,157,233 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
If you're not a close friend, keep it short and simple. "I'm sorry for your loss" is always appropriate but it were me I'd add something along the lines of "He was one amazing kid, everyone will miss him". That's what parents of teens and young adults usually need to hear, that their child made an impression and will be missed.
good advice, yes i agree, a heartfelt gesture.of how sorry.you are along with a few kind words about.him would mean alot
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Old 08-31-2013, 11:43 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,108,085 times
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You've gotten good advice, keep it short and simple. When my husband's 4 yr old son died, he was not consolable. He said that there are no words to help but there are words that do not help so it's best to say the least.
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Old 09-01-2013, 01:05 AM
 
Location: So Cal
52,257 posts, read 52,668,250 times
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I had a co worker a few yrs ago and his son died 2 days after Christmas in a horrible traffic accident, he was 19 or so.....

I sat and stared at the phone for an hour before I could work up the courage to call him.............

He ended up consoling me, practically.... IDK.... it was a rough thing.

I went to his sons funeral, a huge huge turn out, the kid must have been a real popular kid, because I don't recall ever going to a funeral with as big of a turn out as that.....

I work with the guy now and it has been about 10 yrs or so since then......... I see him and I still think about his dead son... IDK why... but I do.....
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Old 09-01-2013, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,664,027 times
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I could not even begin to imagine losing a child!
"Im sorry."
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Old 09-01-2013, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Down the rabbit hole
863 posts, read 1,196,513 times
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The less said, the better. When you've lost a child (or 2 in our case) you're in a private hell. There's nothing worse than somebody who tries to offer comfort with a "helpful" phrase like: "It was god's will" or "He's in a better place now." "I'm sorry" is perfectly fine........For the most part, the parents won't be listening anyway. Keep it short and simple.
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