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My brother and his wife lost their 20 year old son 2 years ago. While the situation is much different because we were close, I wrote and read a poem at the funeral, the anguish they will go through at the funeral will be so hard to bear, a simple, "My heart just breaks for your loss" is sufficient.
Read the others' as they talk to the mom. See how she is dealing with the moment. Maybe she in inconsolable; Maybe she will put up a strong face in public and engage others.
I don't envy you at all. That's going to be a rough day.
If you're not a close friend, keep it short and simple. "I'm sorry for your loss" is always appropriate but it were me I'd add something along the lines of "He was one amazing kid, everyone will miss him". That's what parents of teens and young adults usually need to hear, that their child made an impression and will be missed.
If you're not a close friend, keep it short and simple. "I'm sorry for your loss" is always appropriate but it were me I'd add something along the lines of "He was one amazing kid, everyone will miss him". That's what parents of teens and young adults usually need to hear, that their child made an impression and will be missed.
good advice, yes i agree, a heartfelt gesture.of how sorry.you are along with a few kind words about.him would mean alot
You've gotten good advice, keep it short and simple. When my husband's 4 yr old son died, he was not consolable. He said that there are no words to help but there are words that do not help so it's best to say the least.
I had a co worker a few yrs ago and his son died 2 days after Christmas in a horrible traffic accident, he was 19 or so.....
I sat and stared at the phone for an hour before I could work up the courage to call him.............
He ended up consoling me, practically.... IDK.... it was a rough thing.
I went to his sons funeral, a huge huge turn out, the kid must have been a real popular kid, because I don't recall ever going to a funeral with as big of a turn out as that.....
I work with the guy now and it has been about 10 yrs or so since then......... I see him and I still think about his dead son... IDK why... but I do.....
The less said, the better. When you've lost a child (or 2 in our case) you're in a private hell. There's nothing worse than somebody who tries to offer comfort with a "helpful" phrase like: "It was god's will" or "He's in a better place now." "I'm sorry" is perfectly fine........For the most part, the parents won't be listening anyway. Keep it short and simple.
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