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I just lost my parents this year. Dad died of Parkinson's in March - somewhat expected as he was starting to get hospice care. That didn't make it any easier, but at least it wasn't a total shock. They were both 90 and once they were in assisted living and could no longer drive they were together all the time. Before that they hadn't really been a close couple.
Mom was just inconsolable at this funeral and cried non-stop. Understandable but just really hard to watch
someone you love in that much pain. Still, she seemed to adjust, but last month (8 mo after my dad) she had a stroke in her sleep and never recovered. We had a chance to say goodbye in the next few days, she finally died 3 days later.
Now the world looks like a really different place. It's hard to believe that grief ever gets easier. Yes, they lived long healthy lives, but they were my parents - and they're gone. Anybody have some perspective on this with their loved ones?
What a horrible time of the year to lose your mom....I am traveling the same road. Even though my dad died in 1994 my mom also just died this past March....It makes you feel like an orphan....Since probably like you, our Christmas's and Thanksgivings always included my parents this year we are struggling to figure out what our "new" family traditions will be...It really colors the holidays & although your situation (losing both parents) is worse than mine, it still leaves a huge void....Many times I am sure you think of calling them about something and realize they are gone...I am so sorry, I hope that somehow you can find some happiness this Christmas....Long distance hugs from MI...
My parents have been gone for years. The passing of parents is I think one of the most traumatic events in a persons life. The kind of unconditional love and support that most parents give their children is the bedrock of most of our lives and is deeply missed once it comes to an end.
The four of us looked at each other after her memorial service which was lovely (thank you, sisters) and there were shoes we just didn't think we could fill.
Both were true patriarch and matriarch types. Great organizers of family get togethers and just all around caring of others.
Tomorrow night, our family, led by one of my lovely nieces, is celebrating their memory with one of this memorable family gatherings. I'm happy to see the tradition continue.
68551, thanks for the condolences. I'm in MI too (down state though). It is hard; I had a much closer relationship with my parents as they got older. Even thought they were over 4 hours away I saw them regularly. My mom made a lot of my Christmas decorations; my tree skirt, etc- a ton of memories here. Last Christmas I made ornaments and my mom painted them. Then, each person in the family (grandchildren and great grandchildren) got one of her ornaments. I'm so glad I did that!
I just lost my parents this year. Dad died of Parkinson's in March - somewhat expected as he was starting to get hospice care. That didn't make it any easier, but at least it wasn't a total shock. They were both 90 and once they were in assisted living and could no longer drive they were together all the time. Before that they hadn't really been a close couple.
Mom was just inconsolable at this funeral and cried non-stop. Understandable but just really hard to watch
someone you love in that much pain. Still, she seemed to adjust, but last month (8 mo after my dad) she had a stroke in her sleep and never recovered. We had a chance to say goodbye in the next few days, she finally died 3 days later.
Now the world looks like a really different place. It's hard to believe that grief ever gets easier. Yes, they lived long healthy lives, but they were my parents - and they're gone. Anybody have some perspective on this with their loved ones?
I'm sorry that you are going through this. So am I. My mom was 87 but in reasonably good health considering her age but on Monday, the 8th, she had a massive stroke and never recovered. It was a total shock and I'm the one who found her. They didn't give her 48 hours when she first went in but she lingered 11 long days. No life support or monitoring after the second day. She was in Hospice care from day three. It was so hard to watch her go downhill more every day. The really sad part is that the side of her brain not affected was the side that helped her understand everything going on around her. She knew who we were, understood all we said and couldn't reply. She tried though. We managed to communicate through hand squeezes and it worked out fine.
After 7 days in Hospice they decided to send her home to die. No more money to keep her there. So she died at home 48 hours after being brought home. I miss her so much. I've lived in her guest house for the past 5.5 years and we were close. She knew I'd be here no matter what and make sure she had everything she wanted/needed. Living here now I feel really alone for the first time in years. I'll be moving soon. My brother will be taking over the house and property and time for me to start over again.
My dad passed away in March 2004 but I wasn't living here then and didn't go through all this with him. He had a major heart attack one morning. I still miss him too.
I lost my parents and my H so I understand. I took some time and then decided I had to live the life they would want me to have. It was hard at first but it does get easier over time. I am sorry for your loss!
hhwtm - I am so sorry about the loss of your dad and now your mom. It is hard, kind of like being in a fog and not knowing where you are. All you can do is take one day at a time and try to move forward, albeit slowly, but still try to get a little bit done every day.[u] AZDesertBrat[/U, I am so sorry about your mom, too. I have read many of your posts, about working at the Wal-Mart and living in the cottage in your mom's backyard. You are probably struggling in the fog, too. I am sorry you have to move so soon; I hope you can find a spot right there in the Verde Valley. My sympathies are with both of you.
I'm so sorry to all of you who have lost your Moms (or Dads) recently. My Mom died almost three years ago, kind of similar to AZ's situation -- she fell, hit her head and had a massive brain bleed from which she could not recover, and lasted six days before taking her last breath with me, her only child, by her side. I am now living in FL in her condo, which makes me feel good, but I've got to say: I feel so alone. She was my best friend....there was always something to laugh and talk about. I have a big circle of friends and family, but it's not the same. I don't have the same zest for life. I'm crying a lot lately, maybe it's the holidays coming, I don't know. I want to see her again....I have so many things stored up to tell her!
So hey, aren't I the uplifting poster? LOL! Anyway, this is the only place where I feel I can share my grief and my feeling of being alone. She was 89 and it's not like I thought she'd live forever, but it was "sudden and/or unexpected", as the LI Medium loves to say. I guess you could say my grief has faded but my life is just not the same without her. I hope she's OK and that there is a heaven where she is happily reunited with her parents and 10 siblings.
I'm an only child. It never get's easier, nor does it get better. Time goes on and It's just different. I maintain that you will never know the true feelings you have for your parents until they are both gone.
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Losing your parents
