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see my sil is just the opposite her husband my brother died five years ago and we all visit each other when we can . She is always glad to see me . Yes the family posted in the op's post might possibly be dysfunctional and maybe leaning toward mental illness and I would really just let the girls know that you love them and give them your contact info . Most likely this is the last you will see of them because it sounds like dad and mom (your sil ) have poisoned them against you and your husband . I would just walk away and not worry you will never hear from them again sad to say .
You can't do much. Just be there. Let them know you will always love them and think of them. Who knows maybe they will escape some day. Kind of creepy.
My father died in January 1973 of aggressive, metastatic cancer. A few days before, his (gay) brother and his sister (who had a baby with their family doctor 11 years before divorce) acted in a bizarre manner at my father's hospital. They ordered the feeding tubes reconnected where we had acquiesced in the hospital's decision to disconnect them.
When they continued to fight us on the cremation (as opposed to burial) we cancelled the hearse and did not invite them to the condolence call. I thought at the time that my mother was being petty. After some more bad behavior in the next year or so, I changed my mind.
Thanks so much everyone for the replies....and yes, I think you're all correct!
I had a great change of perspective on the whole thing, after an unproductive day of being bogged down with thoughts:} But here it is: Our relationship with this family was always on their terms. We did the giving, they did the taking (or so it felt). When they indicated that they were dropping the SIL side of the family I felt devastated but why? What am I really losing? Just a dysfunctional relationship. In order for anything to ever be different, this has to end. And that is a good thing. Now, there's hope of things being different....maybe someday. And if not, that's okay too. Because when a door is closed on something so dysfunctional it opens doors for better. I am excited to see what good things it will bring. I feel so much better....thanks forum!
You seem like a very nice person tjay. John's sister passed last week while we were away and the memorial service is today. It's over six hours away from where we live. John is still under the weather and I would not be attending if he was going to go. Toxic people are a waste of time and I divorced myself from his family over 20 years ago. Do what you have to do to get through what amounts to being just one day out of your life. Then go out there and find a better class of people worthy of your attention.
At least you can have some personal closure on the sad situation.
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