Loss of Mother Seems to Have Ungrounded Me

[october2007]

Originally Posted by Gerania

Sometimes I feel like I'm here to watch people die. Mom was the youngest in her family, and I am the youngest in mine. I took a serious hit when my eldest brother died. I have been adrift since mom died four and a half years ago.

I'm sorry for your losses and I do relate to feeling adrift. Is your father still alive? I think we take for granted having a mother (I didn't always appreciate her) and when she's gone it's like our foundation is rocked especially for singles who haven't created their own family/foundation. I would imagine it's very unsettling to have a sibling die too.

But I would try focus on living because we are all here to die at some point. And the longer we are here the more people we will know that die. That's life I guess. Advice for myself as well.

[jaminhealth]

We don't have our parents forever, we have to adopt and nurture our friends. Our parents want us to go on. Mine lived a long time but I know many lose them younger...we never know when it's time.

[HomeIsWhere...]

Originally Posted by october2007

No never had children. I think if I had my own family it might be different.

Not necessarily...

I have sons and daughters, have lost both parents and all but one of my brothers except for the 'baby' brother who for all practical purposes he is 'lost' to me as well, living in an assisted living center out of state and several hundred miles away from me.

My parents raised us to be strong and independent and all of us have lived that way but we were all of us very close to our parents. Even after growing up and having children of our own we spent all our holidays birthdays, and just regular visits for no reason, at the family home.

My children were also raised to be strong and independent and they live their lives far from me and some out of country as well. No grandchildren either, so 'there's that'.

Not to sound cliché but literally 'it is what it is' and the best advice for you is what has already been suggested to you. Get/put yourself out there and try to make at least some acquaintances which may or may not eventually become friends.

Life is for the living and we should honor those who have come before us by living 'our best' lives as possible.

I can't say any of this is a consolation for you but rather to say, you're not alone in your feelings of loss and isolation and I wish you the best in finding people who will surround you with love and camaraderie.

[sandy221]

Originally Posted by jaminhealth

We don't have our parents forever, we have to adopt and nurture our friends. Our parents want us to go on. Mine lived a long time but I know many lose them younger...we never know when it's time.

No your right and its scary....... I saw someone say earlier on thie thread I think that it is HARDEST if you didnt get along with your mom or dad when you lose them

I wish I got along better with my mum..... I do love her but we havent ever gotton along well