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LIFE...so fragile.
LOSS... so sudden.
HEART...so broken.
In the wake of such a loss, we're haunted by things we don't - and
may never - understand. Yet the solace we seek may not come from
answers. So we look for comfort, in the belief of love's everlasting
connection. May that love lift you, hold you close, and give you
peace.
My heart goes out to you for your loss. When you provide care for someone on that level, they become your world, and now you feel as though your world has been taken away :c rying:.
At this point, 332 people clicked into this thread, OP, and my guess is all of them said a silent prayer for you.
Best wishes. This is so very hard.
I probably wouldn't have posted if my sister's son hadn't died when he was 16.
Just a few years ago - or probably more - when we were talking on the phone, I realized that it was his birth month and mentioned it. I got, "I don't to talk about it." That's fine with me. I told her that we weren't going to discuss it, but that I remembered that he was a beautiful baby, that I still have photos of him, and that I'd never forget him.
It's still a "thing." She called me the day that he would have become 40, so I reminded her that she's older than I am and always would be. There was silence, and then she started laughing.
It's going to take quite a long time, but eventually food will taste good, and something will cause you to laugh. You're not not being unfaithful if you laugh.
I am so, so sorry. I can imagine that his memorial service was beautiful, and I am glad friends and family were able to come and offer their support and love. These first mornings and evenings must be very hard, and I am writing a note for you, as the others have, to let you know people out here care.
Friday, today, is my Special Needs brother's bowling day. It is a time when we get together for his group and then go over to the bowling alley for a brunch and then they bowl. The bowlers are mostly in their 40's-60's and their parents are getting older. Many of the mom's are widow's now, and some, like my parents, have passed on. But it is a special group with a priceless accepting bond and some of the most beautiful loving friendships I have ever seen in my life. One fellow is adopted. His mom was widowed early and she has carried on with her son and he is her life. The friendships of the parents are a true support system. The support we receive from each other and the love exhibited by the families helps us carry-on for another week. My late mother took care of him for many years, and now I do. He lives with my husband and myself; he is 65 and my Hubby 66. I am just telling you this so you know I do understand the lifestyle.
I hope, when you are able, you can continue these connections you have with your son's "community". You see, Gerania, you are experienced and have the wisdom you have gained through these years of caring, and there is still so much need in our special communities, for support and love. Hopefully, this will be a way to help you with your healing and a way to carry on your son's legacy. Even little things, no matter how little, are so appreciated in this "Special" world you have been a part of for 35 years.
Five years and nine months ago, our daughter became pregnant. At her 12-week ultrasound, the MRI tech became silent and perplexed. I was [fortunately] there with my daughter. The Tech left the room to get the Dr, and then that Dr got another Dr. Well, you know how this story goes.... A Special baby was coming into the family. My daughter's experience with her uncle helped her. You know the drill - her life changed. Her world changed. Her airplane "landed in Holland", as the famous poem about a Special Needs baby goes. "Welcome to Holland" is the official name of the poem.
Now, your precious son is at peace, and you are still here, grieving. I just wanted to reach out, and tell you I care, as do all the other posters. Please, if you can, keep up all your contact with your "community"; you need them too and they need you. Yes, you still are needed and can help others, my friend.
If you want to talk more, feel free to private message me [or whatever they call it on City-Data]. Or post as you are able. You are important!
HTB, I am sorry for the loss of your beloved son and for what you are going through. You only need to get through one day at a time. Keep your friends and family close. Be good to yourself. Although you will miss and mourn him every day, one day when you think of your son, you will smile because he lived. Take care.
People just don't understand that the more you care for someone, the more you come to love them. I hope you are getting through your days OK and with some hope.
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