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Scrap lumber. We put some out and notified the artists colonies near us and crafters. They used old siding and thicker lumber to paint a design or made up sign or a phrase on or to be part of a design for a table, whatever. Several came and picked through the designated pile and took it all.
Now, when I say "put out and notified artists" I mean that literally . Not 'threw out'. It was carefully placed,some chunkier lumber on the ground, some on table tops, for artists and repurposers that are aplenty now with all the shows that help people learn that if they aren't already doing it.
I've had the clean out experience with both my mother-in-law's house and my parents.
It's good to remember this: Just because someone else bought or enjoyed something does NOT mean you are obligated to keep it. Everyone has his own tastes. And just because something feels "historical" doesn't mean you have to keep it either. My mother-in-law had old-fashioned reel tapes of audio recordings from Christmas concerts she participated in at a church in her hometown. I know her kids felt obligated to keep them, but after years in storage I realized how silly that was. We had no player for those tapes, and there were no names on the reel. That church has since closed. We knew my MIL never did solos so if we ever did end up finding a device where we could play them, we'd be listening to a random choir with nothing to identify her voice or singing. I quietly discarded them with no one the wiser, but that is a good example of hanging on to things because you feel like you "have" to.
I have two cousins who were in their late 50s/early 60s when their last parent died. They all live in the same town, along with many of the young adult grandchildren. The brother who was the executor kept asking the other brother to get anything that he, or his kids, wanted from the house. He did this for about six months. Finally the executor said "In one month I am hiring a crew, getting a dumpster and everything left in the house will be thrown away." A few weeks later, the cousin wandered over to their late parents house and was horrified to discover a dumpster full of everything from furniture to photo albums. Both the brothers were angry with each other (for a while) but at least the house was finally empty and put up for sale.
It is a great idea to set a date for getting things from the property and stick to it.
Oh believe me, that's the plan. I am the executor. I am going to set a date 30 or 60 days out and have the attorney mail a letter to all three heirs (my two brothers and me) saying "You have XX number of days to remove all items - after that, they may be given away, sold, or whatever by the estate and you will have no claim to anything."
I don't care who gets mad at me. Everyone is big on talk and little on actual help.
When my mom died, I shipped four boxes of stuff 3500 miles to my house.
But then I did a major move, and really cleared out--the two of us got our possessions down to six boxes and four suitcases. Only mom's silverware and a ring survived that clear out. Ironically, I now live just 100 miles from her last home.
My mother is far from dead, but my brother and I are already actively downsizing her possessions. Boomers have WAY too much stuff, and it's sad that my generation picked up on some of their habits by osmosis and proximity.
Out with the old. It's all junk anyway. Also, people should really give consideration to whether or not they truly need something before making purchases at all.
I highly recommend the book "Rightsizing your life" by Ciji Ware; it's a little more practical than "Tidying Up", with a lot of suggestions on where to recycle, repurpose, etc. She's very good at addressing the emotional issues as well, and suggests that for large collections of something you take a few pieces you particularly treasure and get rid of the others. DH and I downsized in 2014 and went through a lot of it then.
My favorite tactic, even though it's a bit slow, is to list things as Free Stuff on Craigslist, put it at the end of the driveway, tell them first-come first-serve, and you'll delete the ad when it's gone. Sometimes the first person to arrive will take a bunch of totally disparate things you listed separately, but they're gone. You can make this work to your advantage. I had a bunch of assorted glassware and ash trays and listed them. No takers. I listed a turntable, a filing cabinet and put out the glassware, too. One person took it all.
DH died in late 2016 and I'm still getting rid of some of his things- will never let go of all of them, of course. The gin and brandy he liked had been sitting in our pantry for ages (including 3 mini-bottles of Bombay Sapphire) and I listed THOSE as Free Stuff. I'm a wine and scotch drinker so they weren't doing anyone any good. They were gone in less than an hour.
And you can resolve to find one or two things to throw out every day. I found THREE bottles of light corn syrup, one unopened. Two got pitched.
BTW, whatever your sister insists on keeping- give it to her and let HER store it.
Great idea. There is also freecycle.org which we prefer to craigslist as its more a community of locals but saves you lugging to goodwill.
My mother is far from dead, but my brother and I are already actively downsizing her possessions. Boomers have WAY too much stuff, and it's sad that my generation picked up on some of their habits by osmosis and proximity.
Out with the old. It's all junk anyway. Also, people should really give consideration to whether or not they truly need something before making purchases at all.
Some of the stuff is just circumstantial. For example, here in Australia forty years ago it was simply the custom to give people stuff for a gift when they got engaged or married. Everything cost more so a pair of towels was an acceptable gift for an engagement and everyone got casserole dishes galore for wedding gifts.
We did not have gift registers here in those days, it was simply not the custom to give cash and it was often thought in poor taste to return or exchange gifts.
Now of course people generally give money, gift registers are there for those intent on giving stuff and newly weds should not get inundated with possessions to the same degree.
It can be difficult to throw out stuff when you know that it used to be very valuable. Crystal, linen, silver cutlery; all the stuff that used to be treasured is now headed for the op shops.
If the OP is overwhelmed with "clearing out" in every part of his life, I would suggest a vacation from doing this. Plan a time away when you don't have to give away anything at all. Come back refreshed. Another possibility, if your work will allow it, is to request assignment to other tasks for a while. Your boss may understand that throwing away stuff constantly, in all parts of your life, is rough on you, and you need to at least not be doing that at work. At least for a while.
When we are grieving, it is easy to get obsessive about things. I think it distracts our minds away from the painful work of grieving. It is true that sometimes we have to do these tasks. I recommend thinking about how much cleaning out is really necessary NOW and how much can wait until you are feeling more relaxed about it.
My mother is far from dead, but my brother and I are already actively downsizing her possessions. Boomers have WAY too much stuff, and it's sad that my generation picked up on some of their habits by osmosis and proximity.
Out with the old. It's all junk anyway. Also, people should really give consideration to whether or not they truly need something before making purchases at all.
As a Boomer, I just want to point out that one reason so many Boomers have so much "stuff" is because their PARENTS had so much stuff and they ended up having to try to sort through it.
And no, it's not "all junk anyway." That's the problem. Yes, some of it is junk, but some of it simply is not - there's just too much of it.
For instance, silver sets - silverware, silver tea sets, etc. That's not "junk" but it's also not something we particularly WANT. Should we just set it on the curb or throw it in the trash? What about the great grandmother's set of Desert Rose dishes - is that just "junk" to be thrown out in the trash? But...who wants it?
What about the desk that a great great great grandfather made with his own hands and tools back in the mid 1800s. It's sort of functionally obsolete, but is it junk? Should it just be sat out on the curb or given to Goodwill?
I mean, it's a problem. Lots of people my age are struggling with this problem (I'm in my mid fifties.) It's not that we WANT to be inundated with all this stuff, it's just that we ARE.
Yeah, speaking of picking up something by osmosis and proximity...welcome to adult hood by the way. I'm sure you'll do much better than any generation before you - at least that's what everyone thinks at some point.
I DID regret at one point throwing my parents' lives away and my childhood too but it all worked out for the best in my life.
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