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When my father died, the office sent flowers to my mom's house. Our HR manager was in charge of sending flowers in such occasions; the card was signed "Your colleagues at XXX".
When my husband died, I asked a co-worker to share the memorial service details via e-mail. There was no "official" card or flowers or anything; I received individual condolences and cards from co-workers, and some attended the service.
At my current workplace, we'll pass a card around and take up a collection for flowers if appropriate.
My co-workers went through both my Mom and Dad's deaths with me and they sent flowers and cards and went to the wakes. They were super.
I always contributed to anyone's card and flowers. I even left work for a couple of people's parents wake. Those people were not well liked by the majority of people but I had nothing against them so I would go pay my respects.
Have any of you experienced a situation where a coworkers family member died?
If so, what was the way your group dealt with it?
I know some people deal with these things privately, but in some work places the news is given by management.
Recently someone at work lost their father. Most people in our group share social media with each other and often hang out after work. Those people already sent him a sympathy text/call.
I haven't yet because I'm not particularly close to him and don't hang out with him or anyone else outside of work. He is a good worker and I enjoy working with him though.
I don't want to be that person that doesn't say anything to offer sympathies. It's not that I don't want to, but feel a little awkward.
Your thoughts?
In some cases I've gone to the funerals or wakes of coworkers' families, and in other cases I've sent a card, and in yet other cases I just mentioned it with a polite "I was sorry to hear that you lost your father recently".
It all depends upon the relationship. In the case you describe, the verbal expression of sympathy when you next see him should be sufficient, IMO.
We never did anything at work for a death in the family. When my father died I received a few cards. When a person died at work there would be a card and a collection.
I worked at a large place. We would be signing cards or collecting money everyday for one reason or another. When a few people transferred in one started a collection and she was told "we don't do that here." People that were close would send a card, attend the funeral, or send food but others usually did nothing.
'Sorry for your loss' seems so impersonal... but probably really is the most appropriate thing to say to a casual coworker. It can be awkward, but they already know it's awkward for you (and them) and will probably appreciate the gesture.
Seems impersonal, but there is really no good thing you can say when someone is grieving. Especially when you don't know them well. Too many people try to be pithy or inspirational or unique and it usually ends up coming across as strange, trying too hard, overly-personal, attention-seeking, or sometimes borderline-offensive as people grasp at straws for what to say. Just say you're sorry and leave it at that, and treat them kindly (actions speak louder than words anyway).
It's important to acknowledge the person's loss even if you are not close. Sounds like you did just that. The worst feeling is returning to work and being expected to act like nothing happened after the loss of a loved one. Having coworkers offer condolences gives space and permission for the person to have an "off" day. Recognition of another's grief is appropriate.
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