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There are a lot of things on my mind and I've been noticing things and just trying to unpack everything.
If this isn't the right thread to post this feel free to move it.
Since my wife's diagnosis and subsequent surgeries and everything associated with it in the past couple of years I feel like things are focused on her death. For example, the need to join a church so when it happens she has a place to have a funeral, who do I want to give my stuff to/ writing a will, making sure tha I am able to access her bank account.
i would definitely take care of the business end of what you mentioned in your post, it will make a lot of things go much smoother when the time comes.
as for the church affiliation, every funeral home i have ever been associated with, (and it has been a bunch across several states) has a chapel for funerals and a staff member to handle the service as well (sometimes better) than most pastors.
i wish strength and peace for you and all concerned.
I have had a will and POA and all that since I was in my twenties, though, and I wasn't sick. Access to bank accounts, either by POA or being on them as a co owner (typically the way it's done) is important as well. Honestly I think you're taking care of business that should be taken care of. Be sure she does too.
I agree about the funeral home by the way. I mean, if you need spiritual comfort now, that's another matter, but just to have a funeral? No need in my opinion.
Church, if usually attend, start looking, attending now, a memorial can be held anywhere, a favorite place for both of you. Eulogy given by someone who knows your wife.
When my husband prepared for his final journey, he saw the pastor who knew him; contacted the Neptune Society, my folks had had this. When we went to his eternal home, the nursing home contacted them. Something I didn't have to do in my grief.
The Neptune Society sent me a copy of the Death Certificate. Being a veteran, needed only this copy. All others I contacted made copies.
Passwords, do you need them, ie let people she has contact, notified.
Possessions, does your wife have certain items to go to certain people; when letting go of her possessions, keep a list of the item and the name of the person. For me, I had brain fog, couldn't remember much.
Suggestion: although ill, court her as when you were first dating ! Precious memories .
Wise you are to ask; blessings on his journey.
Shalom.
(Not Jewish, learned one of the most important Hebrew words in the Bible. It conveys the idea of peace, tranquility, .... Shalom sums up all blessings GOD gives to those he loves.
Dad paid for burial, casket and burial ground a couple of years, doesn't go to church. He anted under a tree, got it, then a storm blew it down, lol.simple burial, Mom's ashes will be released Inside his casket along with a knife , his knife he carried as he if a custom knife maker.
Plans make, irrevocable trust, 2 children to split 50/50.
I'm already a signer on 3 accounts, so there should be not proplems. the problems will begin after he passes,
His burial was non because of a church but because of the location.
My mom went to church regularly and the pastor visited her several times in the memory care center we found. Still, when it came down to it, the funeral home arranged her cremation (not me), and we ended up having a memorial sort of family reunion thing a few months later. No funeral at all. She would have loved it, I believe. Her ashes are interred in a columbarium close to my dad's ashes (not as many because he wanted many of his ashes spread elsewhere).
She's not in hospice or anything like that. It just feels like sometimes like she's so sick of putting up the fight, putting on the brave face that she'd rather just be done with it.
I feel kind of bad thinking about this but if she was getting better then good we'll adjust and move on with our lives, or if she wasn't then we could make plans and enjoy the time we had together and I think that's what is making it so hard for me
It's so hard to talk about this with her because she feels like she has deprived me of a normal life and she feels like she's been such a burden to me.
I know what it's like to have the focus on death. But it's the right thing to do, to get things in order. It will be difficult when she's gone. I tried to cover my bases, but I missed a few things here and there.
I hope you can enjoy your time together now and make the best of a bad situation.
I have had a will and POA and all that since I was in my twenties, though, and I wasn't sick. Access to bank accounts, either by POA or being on them as a co owner (typically the way it's done) is important as well. Honestly I think you're taking care of business that should be taken care of. Be sure she does too.
I agree about the funeral home by the way. I mean, if you need spiritual comfort now, that's another matter, but just to have a funeral? No need in my opinion.
Having a church home isn't just to have a place to have a funeral. We had been bouncing from church to church for a while.
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