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I was with my bf/fiance when he died one year ago yesterday. Said, "if you want to go, just go", and to my shock, he stopped breathing literally less than thirty seconds later.
Your experience seems to be quite common. My friend lost her mom last year, had her set up with hospice in her home, wouldn't leave her side, dozed off on the couch in the same room and woke up to find her mother dead. Similarly, I put my mom to bed, checked her an hour later, she was sleeping soundly, breathing deeply, woke up three hours later, checked on her, and she was gone.
I personally do not think you are crazy to want to try to contact him. If you go that route, be careful, as it is an industry that can prey on vulnerable people through fakes. I do believe--actually I know--that there are people out there who have this gift. Find someone through someone you know and/or trust to send you in the right direction.
I did hear something from mine through a psychic, but I did not go to her for that purpose. I went there, skeptical because I always am, to see if she had any advice or direction on what I was supposed to do next, since I lost not only my fiance but the plans I had as to where I was going to live and so forth. I told her that I had lost my partner, and she said "He is OK. He is home, and he sees now why things were the way they were (he was very angry about the illness that incapacitated and eventually killed him) because "when we are here, we are fish out of water and do not see things as they really are." It gave me comfort to hear that, but I was still doubtful because anybody could say that to comfort the bereaved.
At the end of the session, as I was leaving, she said, "Wait. I hear things." I turned and she told me "He wants you to know..." and said something that no one else could have known. Then I knew she was the real deal.
I had gone to her on the advice of a friend who had lost her mother. She was not looking for a message from the other side, either, but this woman said to her, "There is someone near you showing me a remote control." My friend's mom had died recently with the remote for the TV still in her hand. This same psychic told that same friend to get her left shoulder looked at as soon as possible. She'd had a tumor removed from her spine six months earlier, and sure enough, she had five new spots of bone marrow cancer in her left shoulder.
MY wife of 68 years with mild dementia on our ann
eversary 7/22/2122
walked in bedroom and at foot of bed pinched my toe.I opened them and she said good night and I said same she walked around foot of bed and when i opened my eyes i saw her shoulder along edge of bed.EMT's'said common for brain to stop breathing for these patsients.
MY wife of 68 years with mild dementia on our ann
eversary 7/22/2122
walked in bedroom and at foot of bed pinched my toe.I opened them and she said good night and I said same she walked around foot of bed and when i opened my eyes i saw her shoulder along edge of bed.EMT's'said common for brain to stop breathing for these patsients.
My bf had a rare degenerative disorder that destroyed the cells responsible for coordination in his cerebellum, but his memory was not affected.
Mattie, do not beat yourself up ( or the hospital) over not witnessing your husband’s passing. It is very difficult to determine when the last breath will come for any of us, but especially very sick patients. I spent about a decade, very early in my career, as an emt/first responder. ( a lot of time in the emergency room). I have seen patients will themselves to die and I have seen some fight for life when there was no chance of survival. Also, I was with my mom when she died in a hospital setting and it really upset me for years. I guess what I am trying to advise, is don’t dwell on something you can’t change, because grieving is very difficult without adding some “what if’s” in there. But, talking , discussing or writing about our grief, always seems to give some relief and comfort. I bet you felt better after your post here, I sure hope so.
My dad died in 2004 of Pancreatic Cancer (age 57) we knew he was not going to live long because it was stage 4 cancer.
The night my dad died and we did no t know he died yet until my mom called, my brother saw my father in his bedroom, and said to him take care of mom while I am gone. after that we both got the call that he passed away. He was home when he died.
My dad died in 2004 of Pancreatic Cancer (age 57) we knew he was not going to live long because it was stage 4 cancer.
The night my dad died and we did no t know he died yet until my mom called, my brother saw my father in his bedroom, and said to him take care of mom while I am gone. after that we both got the call that he passed away. He was home when he died.
Thank you so much for sharing.
How long was it from diagnosis to death for your father? Pancreatic cancer still kills very quickly, as not much progress has been made.
My husband died 3.5 months ago. I wasn't at the hospital when he passed, and I will regret that until I die. It had been a long day, and after sitting by his side for 12 hours I went home to rest. A few days before I was told he called for me all night until they gave him a sedative, that also upset me. Why didn't they call?
I'm seriously thinking about booking a session with a medium to try and make contact with him. I loved him, I miss him, but his death was not peaceful, he was alone, and that's what haunts me. Has anybody tried to contact a loved one through a medium? Am I crazy to do so?
I am so sorry for your loss, Mattie. I haven't read the other responses here, but I've read a lot of information that says that sometimes our loved ones wait until they are alone to pass. My mama did. We were with her for about as long as you were with your husband. Once everyone left, she passed on around 1:30 in the morning. I don't think anyone is truly alone when they pass. My belief is he knows how much you loved him and still love him, and he would not want you torturing yourself. He would want you to be happy and to continue to make a life for yourself.
I've never contacted a medium regarding a loved one, but I know people who have and who have received comfort from doing so.
May you find peace and comfort as you navigate your way through all of this. Hugs to you.
So many kind responses, and shared experiences here, thank you. I will return to respond shortly, I'm just overwhelmed at the moment between work and "adulting". My husband took care of so many things that I now have to deal with.
So many kind responses, and shared experiences here, thank you. I will return to respond shortly, I'm just overwhelmed at the moment between work and "adulting". My husband took care of so many things that I now have to deal with.
Go easy on yourself, and don't push to do more than you absolutely have to.
So many kind responses, and shared experiences here, thank you. I will return to respond shortly, I'm just overwhelmed at the moment between work and "adulting". My husband took care of so many things that I now have to deal with.
I hear ya. I now have to take care of all the things he did. It is so hard.
How long was it from diagnosis to death for your father? Pancreatic cancer still kills very quickly, as not much progress has been made.
Peace to you!
about 2 months. We think he had it longer and did not tell us. He had 2 friends die from it so when he was told he had it he was not surprised. He opted not to get treatment. He died 1 year before I was to get married.
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