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When my husband went to his aunt's funeral (she was 96) he said he gave her a poke in the casket and it felt just like when you poke a roast a the grocery store. Cold, hard, dead. I might go to a funeral of someone that I didn't know just for curiousity's sake. Just to see what a dead person looks like. But I'd never go to a friends or love ones. What a horrible memory to have.
20yrsinBranson
That's horrible! Go to a persons funeral you didn't know just to see a dead person? Would you want a stranger staring and poking at your corpse? Please don't, it's just wrong.
And yes, when you die you tend to get "cold, hard, dead" that's usually due to the fact that in your casket your body has no blood, they drain it all out and then pump you full of embalming fluid (also a preservative) and sometimes they have to use "stuffing" to pump your body back up to look somewhat normal. I think they glue your lips shut too so the mouth don't open during viewing. Also your body dispells gases for days after you die, thats your organs deflating.
Hope that was enough info to keep you away from strangers funerals!
Wow.........finially some one I agree with on this interesting subject. I agree with everything you said. I feel it is disrespectful to grobble over a dead body. I sure would not want everyone staring at me in a box.
But being dead, you wouldn't have any awareness of it.
While I've never seen any grobbling, I certainly understand that some people don't want a viewing. To me, just attending the funeral and/or seeing a coffin is enough.
However, I realize that dying and death comes to us all, no matter how much we try to pretend it doesn't exist.
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I also feel having a party after the funeral is also disrepectful. I did attend one of these and everyone just laughed and had fun while eating. Never again for me.
I suppose it depends on how you are as a person, your relationship with friends/family, and what sort of tone is set during and after your "departure."
I once read that when Alexander the Great (who died fairly suddenly in his early 30's) was dying, he was asked how he wanted to be remembered.
He said "Think about me whenever you're happy." I always liked that. I'd love everyone to have a party when I'm gone, but that's me. I am not a very formal person.
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I like you also do not attend funerals even when it was family. If family and friends can't respect my beliefs then I dont respect theirs.
Nobody should feel pressured to attend a funeral, a family reunion, a wedding or any other event.
It should be a personal choice.
Seems as though some of you don't get the bigger picture here. Usually the funeral and all services, food, etc is done in memory of the deceased and you try to do things the way they would have wanted it. So really a funeral is some what of a reflection on the deceased' character and personality as well.
I don't get how people can think a funeral service is gross, or morbid. Is childbirth gross and morbid? Well, to me it is but it's kinda needed to keep this whole life thing going. You come into the world and people celebrate, you exit this world and people mourn. It's the chain of nature and a funeral is a link in that chain.
I've often wondered how we came up with such a rediculous tradition.
I would never want to be displayed for people to walk by and view my dead body
...I don't attend funerals.
I'm being cremated!
In days of old, bodies were not buried for 3 day because it was common for people to be buried alive due to lack of medical technology. So someone sat with the body. Family and friends came to help to prepare the body and help with the death watch, and help provide food for the grieving family. This was done out of sense of community and respect. Flowers were placed around because of the smell.
I have attended way to many funerals. It is done to show respect for family and friends and to provide closure for the loss of a loved one.
Well, the deceased certainly won't be bothered by this.
But if my brother passed away or lost one of his children, or if a good friend died, I would not be staying home.
If it was my daughter then I would go however just about everyone else is on their own. My closest friend thinks that is fine. If its someone special I will donate money to a charity in their name, send flowers, whatever but I don't have anything left for a funeral.
I think as I grow older, I will speak to my daughter and find out what she would prefer when I die. I want her to be at ease with the preparations.
I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and panic attacks, I am not sure there is enough medication in the world to get me through a funeral of someone I am close to.
The last upsetting family event I was part of, it took me three months to get over it emotionally. I know my limits. Taking care of my daughter has to be my priority.
My closest friend, I have told her, her family and husband that if she needs a kidney or a lobe of my liver, I am there for her, she has childhood diabetes, I would do just about anything for her, except go to her funeral.
I visit the website allfuneralhomes.com which I found in this forum and I can easily find the information on Funeral Homes, Funeral Services, and Cremation Services. I am thankful to the poster and also the members of forum.
Moderator cut: Discussing a Moderator on public forums is a violation.
Mick
It provides the opportunity for family and friends to say goodbye and also helps in accepting the death and helping with the grieving process.
You will say about allfuneralhomes websites services? As I visit the website, they have information on US and Canada funeral homes with contact detail. You find the information about the funeral services in your area.
I've been to about 30 or so funerals in my life. Funerals help the living with the acceptance of death. When you actually see them there, laid out in a box, it's real. There are no lingering thoughts that he or she is still around somewhere. You go through your grieving process however long that may be, and hopefully at some point you look back on that person with fond memories. I lost one of my best friends earlier this year and for several reasons could not make his funeral. It was only a one day service and there was no way for me to get there. I still have trouble believing he is gone. The last time I saw him we had a great conversation and lots of laughs as usual. Maybe I prefer remembering him that way, instead of my last memory being of him lying in a casket. He was full of life and lived his life to the fullest but I still wish I could have paid my last respects.
The older you get, the more funerals you will attend.
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