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...the politics and history of Black hair and assimilation into white culture and everything it entails...
"Metaphysique":
A question I have, and forgive me that it will probably sound insensitive, is something like this:
Do Black people who wear their hair without relaxing or straightening it, find that white people look down on them?
I'd venture to say it's regional and depends on one's place of work or school. There are schools that ban AA hairstyles like braids in various forms. Well, if they can't wear braids, and most parents aren't going to spend an inordinate amount of time doing their kid's hair every single morning, it limits one's options outside of relaxers and flat ironing.
I think in some areas, with natural hair and styles more popular or common than they used to be 15+ years ago, it's less taboo, but it wasn't always like that. Hair was a big thing for me growing up. Looking/being presentable, which often meant getting relaxers or regular wash and press (straightened with a flat iron). My stepmom would make comments about how her hair had to look a certain way for work, and though she stopped getting relaxers, she still had to keep it straight. The only other option is to wear natural styles, or wigs and weaves, and natural styles in her line of work wasn't seen as "professional." Same for my mom.
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Or is the feeling about wanting hair to appear different than it naturally grows, more of an ingrained thing that comes from history?
There's that aspect, too. The idea of "good" hair and "bad" hair, which is regarded as very coily or kinky. I used to struggle with my hair when I was younger because it required a lot of maintenance and limited my options. My hair was either relaxed or in braids and twists. Relaxing and straightening caused breakage, which impeded hair growth, so I was often frustrated with my hair.
Sometimes it's just comments here and there or how we perceive our appearance and compare it to others. Sometimes it's unavoidable. My second daughter is only 1/4 Black, and yet we have a very similar hair texture, though her hair is slightly coarser and she doesn't like it. Some of her peers ask why her hair is like that, or say it's weird, so it makes her feel self-conscious. Her siblings have soft ringlets that are easier to manage and maintain, which I know she envies. We've always said she has beautiful curls and never say finer and looser curls are "good" hair, but she can still see the difference in the maintenance of different hair types compared to hers and how her hair is perceived by some others. She's actually asked if she can get it relaxed. We're just going to do braids again before school starts.
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I mean, I'm an old white guy and the only thing I have ever thought about Black people who wore their hair naturally or in braids was that it looked better to my eyes than the harsh, processed look of trying to straighten hair that was not meant to be straight. Am I an outlier among whites?
I'm sure there are many who can appreciate the natural styles. I think more are starting to, but there's still push back in certain areas and professions and schools.
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Again, how you want to wear your hair is no concern of mine, it's just an honest question. If you want to say "buzz off, it's too complicated to explain and I really don't even want to think about it anyway" I can understand that too.
Not a problem. I appreciate the sincere questions.
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Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I think it depends on the setting. At my job, it's acceptable to have natural hairstyles but it can be seen as unprofessional at other places. Also, it's not really about trying to please white people. You can also receive negative reactions from other black people for having natural hair.
If the entire world, including our own BLACK MEN, didn't constantly refer to our natural hair as "nappy", inappropriate, and unprofessional, there wouldn't be a need for relaxers and extensions. If our hair is natural, we won't get called back after an interview and if we get the job, we may be told that our natural hair is "unprofessional". Unless you're a black woman with natural hair that isn't like mixed people's hair, you won't understand so don't even try.
I know plenty of BLACK MEN who don't "constantly refer" to natural hair as nappy. Everyone's experience is different. No need to paint all black men/women with the same brush. If your hair has been described in derogatory terms (no matter its length and texture) that is both ignorant, sad, and hurtful. Sounds like those men have some serious bigotry issues going on and need to be schooled.
Interestingly, "black" women aren't the only ones getting their hair relaxed. Kinky, tightly coiled, "hard to manage" hair can be found in all "races" including among hispanics, jews, greeks, and italians. Perhaps not as many, but they are there. And because they are not "black" no one questions whether they have straightened their hair or not. Another irony of this topic is that many "white" women/men must perform a blowout/curl/flat iron when they want a straight silky style. That's not limited to "black" hair.
And again, the OP asked about fake braids. He said nothing about natural hairstyles.
I've never had a neg thought when I've seen natural hair, that just doesn't make sense. I see it infrequently but I think it looks great, it's a fabulously striking look.
Dreds I think are hideous on ANYone, just not attractive in any way, the way they are achieved (no combing/brushing) is stop grooming and let it knot itself into the ropy mess, how is that a good thing, and dreads DO strike me as "revolutionary" in a stupid way, like the wearer is trying soooo hard to be different and look radical. I've seen it on white hippie types and they look ridiculous and unemployable.
The fake stuff (bulky magenta braids, piles of them that look like a string mophead was placed on the person's head) I equate with the hideous skunk stripe type frosting jobs white trash gals often get, along with platinum bleach jobs with dark roots showing: just trashy and low class, which is not confined to any race but I do feel is aligned with lower class mentality/culture be it redneck trailer park or inner city ghetto.
How would a black person's hair worn naturally connote unprofessionalism or be construed as negative I just don't understand, I find that truly baffling and absurd. If I were a black woman it'd really enrage me to be honest.
Dreadlocks are a natural hairstyle.
Do you know what natural hair styles are when it comes to afrotextured hair?
Btw, if you think dressing hair means you don't groom you would be incredibly mistaken. Lots require a massive amount of grooms especially in the beginning. My mixed race brother has afrotextured hair, and has locs since he was a teen. They are about shoulder length, about pencil width, and he takes excellent care of them and likely "grooms" more than you do when it comes to hair and hygiene. And what could ever be radical about allowing your hair to grow naturally without straightening it?
Btw, I maybe a white woman but I have typical 3b curls. Like most women who are curly haired I never brush my hair. I comb it when it is wet, but I also never use shampoo. I still groom and take care of my hair and hygiene. Making assumptions about particular hairstyles is exactly what we are talking about with regards to the judgement directed at people who dare to grow their hair naturally.
I know plenty of BLACK MEN who don't "constantly refer" to natural hair as nappy. Everyone's experience is different. No need to paint all black men/women with the same brush. If your hair has been described in derogatory terms (no matter its length and texture) that is both ignorant, sad, and hurtful. Sounds like those men have some serious bigotry issues going on and need to be schooled.
Interestingly, "black" women aren't the only ones getting their hair relaxed. Kinky, tightly coiled, "hard to manage" hair can be found in all "races" including among hispanics, jews, greeks, and italians. Perhaps not as many, but they are there. And because they are not "black" no one questions whether they have straightened their hair or not. Another irony of this topic is that many "white" women/men must perform a blowout/curl/flat iron when they want a straight silky style. That's not limited to "black" hair.
And again, the OP asked about fake braids. He said nothing about natural hairstyles.
For the vast majority of black children, being able to French their hair as the OP described as "natural hair" means the child's hair was straightened aka not natural.
As evidenced by multiple people in this thread, many don't even know what natural afrotextured hair looks like, and seems to think styles like dreadlocks, are not natural.
It is often both at the same time. A black person wearing their natural hair can be seen as a "revolutionary" act by some. Not only have we black people been conditioned to "relax" our hair, white people are conditioned to seeing it relaxed. So an Afro, or dreads, or braids will get you stares when you walk into a room. A black man or woman wearing their hair as it comes out their scalp makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
There is a lot of tied up in the politics of black hair. I personally like to see black women wearing natural styles. And short hair done right looks great on a woman!
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Originally Posted by pretty in black
If the entire world, including our own BLACK MEN, didn't constantly refer to our natural hair as "nappy", inappropriate, and unprofessional, there wouldn't be a need for relaxers and extensions. If our hair is natural, we won't get called back after an interview and if we get the job, we may be told that our natural hair is "unprofessional". Unless you're a black woman with natural hair that isn't like mixed people's hair, you won't understand so don't even try.
As a middle-aged white woman, I just want to say that I'm sorry black women have to go through this. It never occurred to me that natural hair or braids on a black woman would make someone uncomfortable or appear unprofessional. I have two coworkers with braids and I've never given it a thought, but I can be clueless about such things.
A man-bun, on the other hand, makes me cringe.
ETA: I just saw one of my coworkers and she doesn't have braids right now. She has some loose curls, which I assume are not natural. Like I said, I can be clueless.
Why would other black people criticize natural (untreated) hair?
I would guess it is directly tied to survival in racist society - if that is the case, my curiosity about it is whether or not the people criticizing are aware of the reasons for their criticism (or is it unconscious)?
I am shocked to read on this thread that there are some schools that ban black people from wearing braids. How is this possible? On what grounds? Why would people accept that?
Why would other black people criticize natural (untreated) hair?
I would guess it is directly tied to survival in racist society - if that is the case, my curiosity about it is whether or not the people criticizing are aware of the reasons for their criticism (or is it unconscious)?
I think part of it is generational. My grandmother could not understand that it was ok for my daughter to dye her hair blue in school. Likewise she insisted that my hair be straightened whenever we went to my great grandmothers house.
Last summer I was watching the olympics at my god sisters house and her mother in law (that sounds more complicated than it really is) and she was aghast at the state of one of the gymnasts hair. While she was wearing a gold medal she was bemoaning her "kitchen". That one was definitely a generations issue.
I am shocked to read on this thread that there are some schools that ban black people from wearing braids. How is this possible? On what grounds? Why would people accept that?
There was a school in Massachusetts either private or a charter I think, that told two black girls their braids fell under the distracting hairstyles clause of the dress code.
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We're just going to do braids again before school starts.
