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I reallllly really need another 'break' from my hair. I have bra strap length natural hair and I've been natural for over 20 years. I've only cut my hair off once when I did the big chop over 20 years ago. I drove out of state from SC to Atlanta 2 days ago to get my hair braided today. I'm staying in a hotel and I've used this braider before (she used to come to my house in Atlanta to do it but I moved away from Atlanta 2 weeks ago so she agreed to come to my hotel room to do it).
However, an hour before my appointment this morning, she said she's having car trouble and can't come. At first she said she'd still come and would Uber over to my hotel (she lives less than 15 minutes away from the hotel). Then she later said that since her car was being towed to the dealership, she needed to be at the dealership to see what's wrong with her car and asked when is the next time I'd be in Atlanta and that she could do it another day. (She also mentioned she was pregnant which I did not know so I'm wondering if that played a decision in her not coming today but either way I guess it's understandable.) Either way, she knew I moved out of state (as my mom is sick) and had gotten the hotel to get my hair braided today.
Now..I know it's just hair, I really do. But I'm having a real 'moment' right now. If I had packed my scissors with me, I would cut all this crap off right now. Seriously. Mom had a stroke 6 weeks ago, I moved states to be closer to her 2 weeks ago, the nursing home she just went into is horrible, I'm trying to navigate everything regarding her care alone, and I NEEDED my hair braided today so I could just simply not worry about this head of mine for the next several months because I have way WAY too many other things to deal with.
As a matter of fact, I've had such ridiculous challenges over the last couple of years when it comes to hair appointments, that I'm sick of dealing with my hair. I'm sick of thinking about it, detangling it in the morning, trying to get it to 'lay down' in a bun, sitting for hours when it's time to braid it, spending an insane amount of money to get it done, etc etc etc.
I almost feel (and this is a total vent) like God is sending me signs to just frikkin do something different so that I 'don't' have to worry about it or pay so much attention to caring for it anymore. It's just...not..important. I have MUCH bigger problems to take care of and deal with right now that I think I should just cut it all off. Really. I definitely do not look good with short hair but 1. right now I don't care, and 2. it's just not practical anymore to spend this kind of time and funds on such an insignificant thing when there are other really significant things that need my time and attention.
Naturals: Did you cut all your hair off during a time of stress? Did it save you time/money/end up being the right decision?
I'm not a black woman with natural hair...but what if you cut the hair off, and then got wig? Since you say you don't like short hair on you, maybe a wig just to change it up, when and if you feel like it.
For what it's worth, I would very much share your aggravation if I drove all the way to another state...time that I'm sure is precious to you, to end up not getting it done.
I almost feel (and this is a total vent) like God is sending me signs to just frikkin do something different so that I 'don't' have to worry about it or pay so much attention to caring for it anymore. It's just...not..important. I have MUCH bigger problems to take care of and deal with right now that I think I should just cut it all off. Really. I definitely do not look good with short hair but 1. right now I don't care, and 2. it's just not practical anymore to spend this kind of time and funds on such an insignificant thing when there are other really significant things that need my time and attention.
Naturals: Did you cut all your hair off during a time of stress? Did it save you time/money/end up being the right decision?
Sorry, that you have to face such challenging time in your life.
Well, it is just hair. It would grow back if you cut it.
When you think you don’t look good with a short hair - it may not be quite true.
You might look good but feel a sort of “identity” crisis - like it isn’t quite you without a longer hair.
It happens to a lot of people.
You could even go drastic: buy a head shaver and shave it all - especially if you have a pretty scalp shape.
And even more so:
- it could build confidence to be bold and beautiful,
- to not be taken for an expensive ride by the industry,
- to be confident to not get your heart broken by your SO,
- sends a signal not to mess with you to all those people you are dealing with while helping your Mom.
Go for it!
Don’t get your hair dictate who you are - show your hair that you are the boss.
And if you don’t like it - it will grow back! I promise!
Well I'm not black but I had high maintenance hair, been through something like this and came out the other side finally deciding I couldn't deal with the maintenance anymore and after the crisis part slowed down I chose to stick with it and not go back.
I have been going through adventures in caregiving and also for years now had bad experiences at salons with them making my fine thin hair look worse. The stress of everything was high and I decided to cut my own hair from Youtube tutorials. It isn't perfect but after the initial nervousness cutting it, it was ok. Then I decided to perm it myself with a loose wave because my hair is so fine and limp. I am happy with it, even though it is not my Best hair like I used to have, I think those days are over anyway and this is my New Best hair, and it is low stress and feels right at this time in life.
Maybe you can look at it that way if you want to go natural for a while, or forever. I also thought my new low maintenance style would look bad but it really doesn't and I feel content with it.
Take care of yourself at this stressful time, as well as you can.
I’m not black, but when I look at the high maintenance hair of some black women, I know I’d never do it. If I had a nice small head and face, I would most definitely have a short, low maintenance hairdo.
Sorry for what you're going through.
I feel that you already know the answer.
Now that you've had the emotional release of expressing your thoughts on paper I'm hoping you'll feel better about your decision (whatever it is).
You said you've already cut your hair short, years ago -- so you know the freedom you felt from that experience. And you need that right now.
You've said you're in a super stressful situation right now. And I'm sure you know that stress kills. So the "stress" -- or even added duties/responsibilities/logistics of taking care of your hair you do NOT need right now.
You know it's "only hair." And you know you don't have the time OR desire to deal with your hair right now.
You have to care care of YOU first, before you can care for your mom.
Are you trying to talk yourself INTO keeping your hair?
You've clearly thought this out, so it would not be impulse to:
"Cut your hair....rock it!....and keep it moving!" You got this!
I agree with gentlearts upthread, that's what I would do. As it is I look ridiculous with really short hair.
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