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LOL, it reminds me of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Will and his girl gets stuck in the basement and she ends up taking off her fake nails, lashes, and wig to the point where she doesn't even look like the same person! he gets asked where's his girlfriend and he says "most of her is over there in that pile!"
sorry, random TV reference . but hey, if you feel happy w/ that stuff good for you. some of those fake nails scare me to death and make me wonder how some of these women perform basic hygiene stuff
I suppose in the beginning, I didn't have any deep, thoughtful reason for going natural. nothing political or about getting back to my roots. I was just sick of the dang perms making my break off, burning me and making me go bald! and I was sick of spending hours in a salon under a hood listening to some catty women gossip about so-and-so! of course plenty of women get relaxers and never have these issues. but over time, as cheesy as it sounds, I do feel more connected w/ my hair. playing around w/ it and trying to find the right products for it, I've figured out some stuff it likes and dislikes (for example, my hair isn't a fan off products w/ a lot of shea butter. makes it "crunchy", and my locs stay pretty moisturized w/ light oils like coconut and jojoba). it was so hard for me to maintain my relaxed hair and I was very bad at keeping it healthy. I suppose now I could maintain a healthier head of relaxed hair given all the stuff I've learned through various forums (I've seen some nice relaxed heads on forums like LHCF), but I don't see myself getting relaxed again anytime soon. I think there would be far fewer jacked up heads, relaxed and natural, if people just learned how to take better care of it and maybe laid off that greasy Pink oil and black gel junk, among other nasty beauty supplies!
Amen!
Pink Oil did work on my hair for a while but if I tried it today, natural or not....it just wouldn't be good.
LOL, it reminds me of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Will and his girl gets stuck in the basement and she ends up taking off her fake nails, lashes, and wig to the point where she doesn't even look like the same person! he gets asked where's his girlfriend and he says "most of her is over there in that pile!"
sorry, random TV reference . but hey, if you feel happy w/ that stuff good for you. some of those fake nails scare me to death and make me wonder how some of these women perform basic hygiene stuff
I suppose in the beginning, I didn't have any deep, thoughtful reason for going natural. nothing political or about getting back to my roots. I was just sick of the dang perms making my break off, burning me and making me go bald! and I was sick of spending hours in a salon under a hood listening to some catty women gossip about so-and-so! of course plenty of women get relaxers and never have these issues. but over time, as cheesy as it sounds, I do feel more connected w/ my hair. playing around w/ it and trying to find the right products for it, I've figured out some stuff it likes and dislikes (for example, my hair isn't a fan off products w/ a lot of shea butter. makes it "crunchy", and my locs stay pretty moisturized w/ light oils like coconut and jojoba). it was so hard for me to maintain my relaxed hair and I was very bad at keeping it healthy. I suppose now I could maintain a healthier head of relaxed hair given all the stuff I've learned through various forums (I've seen some nice relaxed heads on forums like LHCF), but I don't see myself getting relaxed again anytime soon. I think there would be far fewer jacked up heads, relaxed and natural, if people just learned how to take better care of it and maybe laid off that greasy Pink oil and black gel junk, among other nasty beauty supplies!
LMAO!! I am about to fall out of this chair hysterical with laughter.
That is exactly the show I was thinking of when I talked about this fake nonsense in my post earlier.
I had a bunch of things that caused me to think differently about the possibility of going natural.
1) Hair would grow for a while......then suddenly break for no apparent reason. I was pretty good at caring for my relaxed hair so could not understand this roller coaster.
2) I consider myself to be REAL and a woman therefore I can not use the word real and woman in the same sentence if I am running around with other peoples hair sewn on to my head or straightening my hair in an attempt to be someone that God did not create me to be. Life could be so much simpler if we stop complicating things and just be ourselves!
3) Tired of the amount of maintenance and products that it took in order to try and keep relaxed hair healthy. As you said natural hair is so much more forgiving then relaxed hair.
4) Thought about the unhealthy chemical crap that is in those relaxers. Finally realized that if the person at the hair salon has to use surgical gloves in order to put it on someone's head........then it is not something that I should be putting on my body!! I truly believe that after years of using chemical relaxers.......we reach a point of no return and eventually there is so much damage done that the hair will not even grow the way it is supposed to.
But the fact that some of us are waking up is good.
LMAO!! I am about to fall out of this chair hysterical with laughter.
That is exactly the show I was thinking of when I talked about this fake nonsense in my post earlier.
I had a bunch of things that caused me to think differently about the possibility of going natural.
1) Hair would grow for a while......then suddenly break for no apparent reason. I was pretty good at caring for my relaxed hair so could not understand this roller coaster.
2) I consider myself to be REAL and a woman therefore I can not use the word real and woman in the same sentence if I am running around with other peoples hair sewn on to my head or straightening my hair in an attempt to be someone that God did not create me to be. Life could be so much simpler if we stop complicating things and just be ourselves!
3) Tired of the amount of maintenance and products that it took in order to try and keep relaxed hair healthy. As you said natural hair is so much more forgiving then relaxed hair.
4) Thought about the unhealthy chemical crap that is in those relaxers. Finally realized that if the person at the hair salon has to use surgical gloves in order to put it on someone's head........then it is not something that I should be putting on my body!! I truly believe that after years of using chemical relaxers.......we reach a point of no return and eventually there is so much damage done that the hair will not even grow the way it is supposed to.
But the fact that some of us are waking up is good.
I think the younger the better.
I know a family member of mine was having a slight bald spot and she thought the beautician left the perm on too long or left some of it in her hair. Thing is it happened some years ago so we were kind of wondering what could be causing this...
She's still getting relaxers but after my big chop today she's evaluating going natural. I'm hoping she'll decide to do it. She's old enough to be my mom but I still think there is hope. Going natural definitely takes committment but I think it's worth it [and that's saying something coming from me because I am a low maintenance kind of girl...I just want to get up and go].
I was talking to a friend of mine today asking her if she is going to relax her daughter's hair when she is older. Her response: If it's not too hard to manage, I won't relax it. I'm not one to be pushy but I'd love to give her a copy of, "It's all good hair" which basically tries to tell moms that even nappy hair is good hair and you just have to work with it. I think a lot of moms perm their daughter's hair out of laziness. I know my step-mom would braid my hair whenever she would get tired of doing it. She is currently putting little pony-tails in my half sister's hair and I'm not a big fan of that. I hope to one day convince my half sis to go natural because talking my step-mom out of NOT doing a perm is just impossible.
I think the younger the better.
I know a family member of mine was having a slight bald spot and she thought the beautician left the perm on too long or left some of it in her hair. Thing is it happened some years ago so we were kind of wondering what could be causing this...
She's still getting relaxers but after my big chop today she's evaluating going natural. I'm hoping she'll decide to do it. She's old enough to be my mom but I still think there is hope. Going natural definitely takes committment but I think it's worth it [and that's saying something coming from me because I am a low maintenance kind of girl...I just want to get up and go].
I was talking to a friend of mine today asking her if she is going to relax her daughter's hair when she is older. Her response: If it's not too hard to manage, I won't relax it. I'm not one to be pushy but I'd love to give her a copy of, "It's all good hair" which basically tries to tell moms that even nappy hair is good hair and you just have to work with it. I think a lot of moms perm their daughter's hair out of laziness. I know my step-mom would braid my hair whenever she would get tired of doing it. She is currently putting little pony-tails in my half sister's hair and I'm not a big fan of that. I hope to one day convince my half sis to go natural because talking my step-mom out of NOT doing a perm is just impossible.
Sorry for the essay. lol.
Yeah I can definitely relate to you with the bald spot. My mom has a bald spot right now that she has been fighting with for the past few years trying to get it to grow........she went to the doctor and had tests run to see what the problem is.......the doctor found nothing. Then she thought that maybe she was having problems with her hair because it is hereditary.......well thats not the problem either. Most of the women on my grandmother and grandfathers side of the family have long hair.......we have a lot of native american blood in my family and my grandfather told me that his mother had hair down to her butt! So now we have come to the conclusion that her bald spot is caused by the years of putting relaxers in her hair.
You did right opening up the conversation with your friend regarding whether she is going to perm her daughters hair.......we need to really think about our choices as black women, especially when we are influencing younger generations of black women (they are our future). You are right a lot of the reasons we perm our daughters hair is because we are too lazy to manage the hair in its natural state. I don't currently have a daughter but if God ever blesses me with one I will never put a relaxer in her hair. I will raise her to be strong and confident in who she is with her natural hair.
As far as I am concerned having my hair natural is the easiest maintenance that I have ever had in my life.....it is truly wash and go.
I probably should stay out of this since I'm a guy but I'll say my peace any way. Black woman using relaxers sadden me. More precisely, the trend of Black women constantly relaxing their hair - for decades. It's one thing to say "Girl, I'm going to wedding and I might get a blow-out or pressed for the day." But to permanently change your hair for decades and then convince yourself "It's just hair." I don't buy it. It's some deep stuff wrapped up in there for a whole culture (is it 8/10?) of women to knowingly use Drano on their heads. Which they know damages their their hair to the point that it won't (do to the relaxer) grow past their ear, and then compensate by wearing wigs and weaves which in turn further damages their hair. Something's wrong with that and there are no arguments that I've ever heard convince me otherwise.
PS - And maybe it's pride, but if I were a girl, I would be damned if I would sit on a train with a weave or wig on my head knowing that many White, Asian, and Latina women are secretly laughing at me or worse pitying me. No ma'am. I'd happy and nappy any day. Just my opinion...
I loved what you had to say but I also must add the following.....
Many White, Hispanic, and Asian women also wear hair weaves, hair extensions, hair pieces and "falls" to add thickness and length to their hair. But Black women are the only women who are berated and belittled for using hair pieces.
The true beauty of Black women has not been typically embraced by American society which unfortunately trickled down into the mentality of some Black men. Part of the reason that so many Black women do not embrace their natural hair is because of these sentiments of the larger society (and on a smaller scale, Black men rejecting Black beauty)
The road to accepting one's hair in its natural state is a definite journey for many Black women. The journey itself can be rewarding and provide deeper self awareness/self love, but some negativity is often encountered(remember that not everyone is on the same page and aren't afraid to voice negative opinions).
The true beauty of Black women has not been typically embraced by American society which unfortunately trickled down into the mentality of some Black men. Part of the reason that so many Black women do not embrace their natural hair is because of these sentiments of the larger society (and on a smaller scale, Black men rejecting Black beauty)
But this is part of a cycle because Black men come from Black mothers and if the male child is never given the opportunity to run his fingers through his mother's natural hair, how will he learn to appreciate it's beauty?
Evee - I agree that it's most important for people to educate themselves on how to handle their hair from a health stand point as opposed to just making it look good. But especially with relaxing i.e. don't take your hair from a 4A to 1B, leave some curl (elasticity, bonds), do just the new growth, stretch the time between relaxers, minimal heat, etc.
I feel like another one of our problems as black women is that we spend a lot of time thinking about whether others embrace our beauty. We need to stop looking for outside validation from society and black men. Validation begins on the inside.....I am responsible for accepting and validating myself.....to hell with whether or not society embraces my beauty, God did not put me here to please society!
There have always been those in the African American community that have worn natural hair, from dreadlocks to braids to afro puffs. However since going natural (Sisterlocks) myself 6 months ago I am now noticing a really strong movement of African American women becoming more interested in wearing their hair natural.
Do you think the natural hair movement is going to continue to be popular and attract more African American women to go natural?
I don't think it is going to be hugely popular any time soon. Not as long as you have singers like Beyonce out there, with hair anything but natural, and black men drooling all over her.
I like the natural look myself on black women.
Last edited by glass_of_merlot; 07-29-2009 at 10:00 PM..
I can't imagine wanting to go natural. I'm white, and I'm jealous of all the weaves and braids and everything else that black women can get away with and look great (not having to wash my hair daily would be great too). I think it's no different from white girls coloring and highlighting the heck out of their hair, or asians curling to add more volume. Even me going back to my natural color I lighten and highlight and streak and curl and pretty much anything else I'm in the mood for.
I'm not saying you can't be beautiful and natural, but when there's so much fun you can have, who'd want to? I think it has nothing to do with not being proud of your heritage, and everything to do with girls love to get dolled up.
It is easy for you to say that. I am white too and I wake up in the morning, grab a brush and brush my hair for 30 seconds, and DONE! That's all I do and it just hangs there straight as arrow all day. Very comfortable and LOW maintenance.
Sure, it would be fun to experiment with different hair styles but everyday! I rather sleep.
It is easy for you to say that. I am white too and I wake up in the morning, grab a brush and brush my hair for 30 seconds, and DONE! That's all I do and it just hangs there straight as arrow all day. Very comfortable and LOW maintenance.
Sure, it would be fun to experiment with different hair styles but everyday! I rather sleep.
I have always wanted to be able to do that.
As of now...all I do is just wake up and my hair is "done." It really isn't much hair to keep up so...YAY!
I love not having to rush to get ready to leave for work all because it took too long to do my hair. I just love the freedom of my my haircut.
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot
I don't think it is going to be hugely popular any time soon. Not as long as you have singers like Beyonce out there, with hair anything but natural, and black men drooling all over her. I like the natural look myself on black women.
That's good to hear.
While in the grocery store, I couldn't help but feel all the Caucascian people were staring at me...or doing double takes. My girlfriend and I were already the only 2 out of say 5 black people there (besides the people that work there). I don't really mind stares but some people could work on not making it so obvious. I had one lady stop mid bite into her food (the grocery store has a McDonald's in it).
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkBorn
I feel like another one of our problems as black women is that we spend a lot of time thinking about whether others embrace our beauty. We need to stop looking for outside validation from society and black men. Validation begins on the inside.....I am responsible for accepting and validating myself.....to hell with whether or not society embraces my beauty, God did not put me here to please society!
I think this is a majority of women, not just black women.
There's a reason plastic surgery is big business, the diet industry is an industry. If you've seen the show More To Love or the thread about it....it kinda points out women in general look for validation outside of themselves.
I finally stopped looking for validation outside myself at 13. Sure every now and then someone's opinion matters but it doesn't dominate my world or stop me from doing what I want to do.
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. but hey, if you feel happy w/ that stuff good for you. some of those fake nails scare me to death and make me wonder how some of these women perform basic hygiene stuff 
