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Most did. Many of the kids were out on their own, or nearly so. We didn't interact much. If asked, I would occasionally help with homework or tutor on car maintenance, but not all that often.
"Spouse" was never on the menu. This was "date", not "marry".
You must be somewhere in the Bible Belt. You do see a lot of "Baby Rabies" cases down there amongst 20 to 35 year olds. Grew up around that. Glad to be rid of that.
You may find these pre-existing kids more unpleasant than having your own, but that was not my experience at all. Starting with, I am not responsible for the pre-existing kids...
I have lived in Dallas, Texas for the last 5+ years. All of the large metros in Texas (DFW, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio) are leftist. There's a lot of leftist/feminist/SJW influence in Dallas. Dallas and the Dallas County inner ring suburbs are Democrat voting (also larger minority populations there). The populous suburbs north of the city in Collin County are more Republican voting. Tarrant County (Fort Worth and its suburbs) are more Republican.
I'm mid-30s, never married, and no kids. That's not unusual in Dallas itself, but once I get outside Dallas city limits, it is less common.
I see absolutely zero advantage in any extended interaction with any single mom. If I did not create the spawn, I have no interest in interacting with the spawn. It is good that you didn't interact much, and also exited. But even the level of interaction that you describe is more than I would like. Since I am an early Millennial, Millennial childlessness is quite high compared to previous generations at similar times in life. When the early Millennials (think 1982-1988 births) hit their 40s in the 2020s, exiting their fertile years, this group is going to be permanently childless at unprecedented rates. I will not have problems finding childless women, even when I am in my 40s if I still happen to need to date. I can see how someone would have a short term (less than 3-6 months), uncommitted, casual sexual interaction with a single mom, but even that's difficult to identify with simply because there are a lot of childless women out there.
My parents divorced when I was in high school. My mom started dating again and re-marrying after I turned 18. I don't like interacting her current husband (it is very contrived since I didn't meet him until my mid-30s). Adult children in general prefer not to interact with someone in a long term relationship who isn't their parent.
For the OP, I can see why doctors are giving him a difficult time regarding vasectomies. It's a difficult situation on a lot of levels, more so in terms of sociological factors than physiological factors.
It's just flat out wrong for doctors to refuse to sterilize adults who request it, even if they are only 18. Saying, "Oh, you're too young, you'll change your mind" is paternalistic. Yes, people do change their minds about certain things. They also suffer the very serious consequences of accidental pregnancies, too.
When I was in training, Medicaid would pay for reversal of tubal ligation. But it wouldn't pay for sterilization for a woman under the age of 21, no matter how many children she'd already had! I saw women who had SIX children already by age 20, and Medicaid would NOT pay for a tubal ligation for them! And the OBs, even female OBs, would say, "Oh, she's going to want to have more as soon as she gets the next boyfriend." So they'd discourage them from getting sterilized, even if they were 21 and had six kids already, all on the taxpayer's dime, even when the young woman would beg for it, saying that she could NOT manage any more kids.
How in the world does a 20 year old have 6 kids? Multiples? Had the first one at 13? If a 20 year old has 6 kids and is on welfare she should be required to have a tubal ligation if she wishes to continue to receive government help. That should be a requirement after the second kid if she can't provide for her own kids.
OP - have you been turned down for a vasectomy by a urologist? Either tell the doctors you have 3 kids already or that you have the gene for some horrible disease.
How in the world does a 20 year old have 6 kids? Multiples? Had the first one at 13?...…..
I had one student who had a child every March (yeah, I know) from 8th Grade through her Senior year, so five kids by graduation.
Her informal Senior picture was hilarious (if you have somewhat of a sick sense of humor, which I do). She was sitting on the top step of a three step riser with her four kids arranged on the other steps while she was wearing a "One In The Oven" sweatshirt. I still have that picture.
My first year teaching I was 30. I had a parent conference with a 28 year old mother who was arranging work for her 14 year old daughter who was getting ready to give birth. That daughter was the oldest of six kids, each a year to 18 months apart.
So they'd discourage them from getting sterilized, even if they were 21 and had six kids already, all on the taxpayer's dime, even when the young woman would beg for it, saying that she could NOT manage any more kids.
I find this horrifying, as a woman and as a taxpayer. I hope that now these women are given the option of IUDs or the 6-month implants that go into the arm.
I am 34 and want a vasectomy, yet many have an issue with it. I don't want any damn kids ever, yet everyone I have spoken about it refuses to do it. Aren't we supposed to live in a world where people aren't judged about this kind of stuff? If a girl on her 18th birthday asks to get her tubes tied shouldn't that be fine? As a man that has never been married or had kids at 34 shouldn't I be able to have a damn vasectomy?
Because it's permanent, and you don't NEED a vasectomy not to have kids. So it's possible there's something going on with you mentally. Why do you think having a vasectomy is the only way not to have kids? Do you understand the risks? There is risk w/every invasive procedure.
As for having kids, do you realize that insisting on not having them will narrow the list of women who will want to marry you? Or are you married already?
If I were a dr., I wouldn't tie the tubes of an 18 yr old woman, either. Although that procedure is sometimes reversible. That's because 18 is far too young to make a decision for herself @ 45. She hasn't had enough life experience. Her brain isn't even fully formed yet. AND there is risk w/the procedure. There ARE things that can be done instead of tying tubes that involve less cost and less risk.
I am 34 and want a vasectomy, yet many have an issue with it. . . .
Simple. Just go to a sperm bank and freeze your sperm and all those issues go away -- with the added bonus that you'll be in full control of your reproductive destiny from then on. You'll be able to father children into your sixties if you change your mind. Cost maybe $300-400 per year.
Because it's permanent, and you don't NEED a vasectomy not to have kids. So it's possible there's something going on with you mentally. Why do you think having a vasectomy is the only way not to have kids? Do you understand the risks? There is risk w/every invasive procedure.
If I were a guy (I'm not), I'd see condoms or abstinence as the only other reliable ways to make sure I didn't father a child. There are too many "oops" pregnancies, deliberate or accidental, among women using BC pills or other methods, along with some outright lies about what they're using. You hope you won't get into a relationship with someone that deceptive, but a vasectomy ensures that it won't matter.
Because it's permanent, and you don't NEED a vasectomy not to have kids. So it's possible there's something going on with you mentally. Why do you think having a vasectomy is the only way not to have kids? Do you understand the risks? There is risk w/every invasive procedure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by athena53
If I were a guy (I'm not), I'd see condoms or abstinence as the only other reliable ways to make sure I didn't father a child. There are too many "oops" pregnancies, deliberate or accidental, among women using BC pills or other methods, along with some outright lies about what they're using. You hope you won't get into a relationship with someone that deceptive, but a vasectomy ensures that it won't matter.
A vasectomy is analogous to insurance. You may not need it from day to day but it sure comes in handy when an emergency arises.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen
As for having kids, do you realize that insisting on not having them will narrow the list of women who will want to marry you? Or are you married already?
^^^Irrelevant if the OP subscribes to the philosophy that no relationship is better than a bad relationship.
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