Hi, I'm sorry for the Longgg post ahead.. I know everyone time is precious, so please just skip it if you don't have a few minutes to spare. I'm not good at wording. I always type straight out what in brain, my train of thoughts are scatter all over the place. And I apologize for my not so good English grammars, English is my third language.
Not expect anyone to make it through reading this. But thank you very much for spare few minutes of your precious time attempt to read it. Hope everyone having great weekend with your family and loved ones.
My husband is a volunteer 'regular' blood donor (way before I met him, he already a regular blood donor). Back when we were friends I saw his blood donor card. He's a 'regular' blood donor and he still is.. He donate alot of blood, he been donate regularly for many years and still regularly donate.
He O blood type, so he is a universal donor. He volunteer giving blood away in hope to help support someone in need, he help save lives.
At first it foreign to me, because in China and in Chinese culture--blood in our body is considereed very very precious. Blood is super precious in my culture. In China, you don't see people voluntary giving blood away, let alone do it on a "regular" basis. It just something very uncommon in China.
I'm Chinese (I'm from Shanghai, China).
My husband he West African (He come straight from Sierra Leone, West Africa), so we do have a huge cultural difference between us.
I learn to understand it, that my husband donate blood regularly, he is helping saving lives.
I never make a comment or give input regards him being a 'regular' blood donor. I know it something he wants to do, or else he wouldn't keep continue donate blood.. But I admit there times I want to ask him to donate less often. What I mean is he can still be a blood donor; But instead of donate blood 'regularly', I just want him to donate blood twice a year only.
Please understand there is a difference between someone who years and years regularly donate blood compared to someone who only donate occasionally.
When you a 'regular' blood donor, they will look for you first when they need blood.
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I don't know if I'm being very unreasonable if I ask him that. There are reasons why I worried; (after you read the reasons below) please tell me if I'm being very unreasonable here. Should I let him know my concerns, and ask him to cut back on donate blood 'regularly'? To be honest, I only want him to donate twice a year.
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----My husband drive a fuel tanker truck like that pic, he hauls gasoline and fuel liquid. Each load he hauls 10,000 gallons, and he does 5-6 loads per day (so a day he delivered 50,000 to 60,000 gallons of gasoline/fuel).. He home everyday, it just he work long hours. (He work 70 hours a week).
It more than just hauls 50,000 to 60,000 gallons of sloshing flammable liquid on the freeway; he does 5-6 deliveries a day, Load/unload tanker truck and trailer, lift/attach hose to load fuel and unload fuel from the tanker to the fuel facility, operate pumsps and valves loading/unloading, lift 100 lbs, climb on ladders and walk on top of the tanker truck, etc..
It a physical/labor job.. No, he not the boss sitting in the office with the AC on here.
He has a perfectly clean driving records, and he is a very balance and smooth driver. He very calm, very level headed. And he is a ridiculously patience person, he ridiculously patience in everything.. It nearly impossible to tip his balance scales.
But due to his job nature, I still get worried like when there heavy raining days, slippery roads.. We live in a very crowded population state where daily the freeway is always packed, and there accidents on the freeway everyday. I do get worry about his safety, especially knowing his truck hauls flammable/explosive liquid.
Anyone in their right mind wouldn't want to crash into a fuel tanker truck.. But who knows when it come to drunk drivers, who knows what drunk drivers crash into.
He work 10-12 hours a day. He doesn't eat much at work, he just eat what I pack for him like a salami sandwich or like baozi (it a Chinese round shape bun inside/filling have meat in it).And to be frank, the nature of his job doesn't give him much time to eat.
He always save his stomach to come home to eat with me.. He very important on family eating together. He said eating homemade food that his 'wife' cooks, able to eat together; means alot to him. He wants us to make the effort eat together.
----My husband he 6'1" ad weight 170 lbs, which is an average weight for his height; but he slim and very lean. He has zero body fat. He been this skinny/slim body type all his life, he just very slim.
He eats normal, he eats meat. He eats all the Chinese food I cook him, and he remain the same skinny/slim weight. I guess he has a fast metabolism.
He has very good health. He never hospitalized a day in his life. He just never get sick, at all. not even a common cold.. He never get a flu shot, and never once he come down with the flu. Met him when he was 25, he 31 now and I never see him get sick, not even a cold or cough.
All his health checkups everything is normal. doctor said my husband has very good health.
----okay, this one related to my culture and my Buddhist religion; I will try my best to explain it below, I'm sorry English is my third language.
In my Chinese culture, and especially I'm Buddhist. When it comes to major Buddhist holidays, and the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. We eat vegeterian, we don't eat meat. So a year there about 8 days where I eat vegeterian.
Buddhist believe that when you don't eat animal meat, you eat vegeterian will give you blessing. (for not eat animal meat), you'll get blessed.
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In addittion there also one whole month a year where I eat vegeterian. It the Ullambana (it like a Buddhist holiday/festival) in the seventh lunar month calender--it known as the season of filial piety to our parents. In modern days it like the western Mother's Day.
During that month we as daughters/sons we go to Buddhist temple pray Buddha bestow blessing on our parents (whether our parents alive or deceased). On this holiday, it not a must but it is recommended to avoid eating animal meat.. I don't know how to explain it but it like when you doing good deeds you get blessing. And by not eating animal meat, you get more blessing. In this case, your parents will get more blessing.
I chose to be vegeterian during this whole month.
My husband eventhough he from West Africa. But he very understanding of my culture and Buddhist religion.
I explained it to him. And I told him the days I eat vegeterian, I will cook separate food with meat for him. I mean we do have plenty of meat in the fridge.
But he said No. He will not eat meat while seeing me eat vegeterian.. He said he not gonna enjoy eating meat by himself when his wife is eating vegeterian food. He said he is my husband, the days I eat vegeterian, he will eat vegeterian together with me.
And he did. The 8 days (of Buddhist holidays, and first day of Chinese Lunar New Year). And the one whole month of Ullambana (31 days). So every year--about 40 days; I just eat steamed rice, tofu, boil vegetables and soy sauce.. And he happily eat it with me. he did what he said.
I guess he want to include my culture. I dunno, but he very understanding.
You know in Buddhist, another example if your parents are in critical ill health condition. And your a daughter/son (filial piety), you go to Buddhist temple to pray for your parents health. You pray and make a promise that you will eat vegeterian for a # of years, and/or shave your head if Buddha bestow give blessing to your parents passed their critical health condition.
And when your parents passed their critical illness and become good health again you do what you promise in your prayers to Buddha. You be vegeterian for # of years, and shave your head.. I'm sorry, it hard for me to explain, I'm trying to get it from my native languages to English. But it something that we Buddhist believe in.
Anyways, my husband knows in my culture and religion that when you eat vegeterian/Not eat animal meat will give you blessed, you get bestow blessing for not eat meat.
And you know what my husband want to do? He said when I'm pregnant he will eat vegeterian for 9 months of my pregnancy till I give birth and continue to eat vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old.
So that 9 months of my pregnancy till our baby turn 3, he will not eat meat.. So that is 3 years and 9 months, almost 4 years he will eat vegeterian; so that me and our baby will be blessed.
He said he wants to start as soon as I get a positive on the pregnancy test, he wants the baby in my tummy will be blessed, and he will continue vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old.
Perhaps he want to include my culture. Perhaps he think that he eat vegeterian, he not eat meat can bestow blessing/can bring blessings to me and our baby. I dunno.. but he said it something he really want to do, and he ask me to let him do it for 4 years (during my pregnancy and till our baby turn 3).
I mean he not huting anything. But I worried because he work 70 hours a week--with the physical/labor job he work and the nature of his job. Plus he slim/skinny, he just very slim.. I'm not sure if he can handle continue donate blood on a 'regulary' basis in that 4 years of being vegeterian.
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My husband have been a 'regular' blood donor, for years and years he regularly donate blood.. Give it to me straight, am I being very unreasonable if I ask him to instead of donate blood 'regularly', I only want him to donate twice a year?
I mean I respect him for be a regular blood donor, I know he helps save lives.. But if you in my shoe, if your DH is a regular blood donor like my husband, if your DH work the job my husband work, weight the weight my husband weight, want to do the things my husband do (the be vegeterian for 4 years I explain above). Would you feel comfortable that he continue donate blood on a 'regular' basis? What would you do if you in my shoe/my situation?
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