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Not sure how to start this post, but I guess I'll start with what happened.
Yesterday, I got into a big row with my parents (and before you say I freeload off of them, I do pay for my upkeep, do 50% of the heavy chores and 1/3rd of the cooking). My mother threatening to kick me out (which if I had sufficient savings for an rental deposit and a roomate lined up I would) b/c in her and my stepdad's opinion I'm addicted to "video games". Said I should "stop for a month" to prove to them that I'm not addicted.
They cite my:
1) Lack of hobbies outside of gaming.
2) My putting off the writing of my CPA exams.
3) Arguably lack of a social life outside of my close circle of friends.
4) Being lackadasial in helping out around the house and having clutter lying about.
5) Staying up until 3am playing LoL.
6) Lack of "direction" in life
To which I counter,
1) Its the only hobby that lets me stay in close contact with old friends despite busy and differing schedules (plus, best bang for my buck time spent wise)
2) My new job in compliance requires me to write a different exam, and this one, the bank is paying for and will possibly give me a bonus for passing. Albiet, due like a month of continual 50hr workweeks, I've cut down on the studying also.
3) Time constraints and the fact I get home around 7-8pm every night.
4) I think I do very well around the house as I do 50% of the heavy cleaning and 1/3rd of the cooking. At worst, my room may be a little cluttered by THEIR anal standards.
5) That was like one or two Saturdays when I couldn't sleep. I played one game and went to sleep soon after.
6) I landed myself a decent job at a bank, only 22, and making median houshold income in the US, I can afford to put off thinking about the future for a year or two.
Any ideas on how to assert myself or do I need to roll over until I can move out?
Not sure how to start this post, but I guess I'll start with what happened.
Yesterday, I got into a big row with my parents (and before you say I freeload off of them, I do pay for my upkeep, do 50% of the heavy chores and 1/3rd of the cooking). My mother threatening to kick me out (which if I had sufficient savings for an rental deposit and a roomate lined up I would) b/c in her and my stepdad's opinion I'm addicted to "video games". Said I should "stop for a month" to prove to them that I'm not addicted.
They cite my:
1) Lack of hobbies outside of gaming.
2) My putting off the writing of my CPA exams.
3) Arguably lack of a social life outside of my close circle of friends.
4) Being lackadasial in helping out around the house and having clutter lying about.
5) Staying up until 3am playing LoL.
6) Lack of "direction" in life
To which I counter,
1) Its the only hobby that lets me stay in close contact with old friends despite busy and differing schedules (plus, best bang for my buck time spent wise)
2) My new job in compliance requires me to write a different exam, and this one, the bank is paying for and will possibly give me a bonus for passing. Albiet, due like a month of continual 50hr workweeks, I've cut down on the studying also.
3) Time constraints and the fact I get home around 7-8pm every night.
4) I think I do very well around the house as I do 50% of the heavy cleaning and 1/3rd of the cooking. At worst, my room may be a little cluttered by THEIR anal standards.
5) That was like one or two Saturdays when I couldn't sleep. I played one game and went to sleep soon after.
6) I landed myself a decent job at a bank, only 22, and making median houshold income in the US, I can afford to put off thinking about the future for a year or two.
Any ideas on how to assert myself or do I need to roll over until I can move out?
Move out and get a place of your own. Then you can live by your standards instead of theirs. Their house, their rules.
Clean your room. Do something other than work and video games. Become an adult. Making the US median household income is nothing to crow about, and no reason to put off thinking about the future for any period of time. If nothing else, you should be thinking about your immediate future, which involves moving out on your own.
Seems like you both are right, both are wrong. But if you live with them, they get the right to get in your business to some degree. If you have a good job, get an apartment. Start saving money if you must.
Which includes saving up enough money to get an apartment in Queens. Which unfortunately, they levied 90% of my takehome income during my P/T days while I was still in school.
I mentioned median Household because I'm 22 and making 50k for one person. Which given this economy, I would say is pretty good, so its not as if I'm being irreseponsible.
I mean, pretty much pay for myself (600+ in room and board pluas unpaid labor I provide around the house)so I don't see why they can't treat me as more of a renter.
You need to move out. Even if you are paying them rent and doing heavy housework, you're living in their home, so it's their rules, and what they say goes. Plus, since you live, there, this gives the "license" to criticize your choices, activities, and hobbies. Your relationship with your parents is CERTAIN to improve once you move out. Guaranteed.
Really, you will be so much better off if you move out. You apparently have a decent job. Get a small apartment on your own, or share with some same-age roommates. I shared houses with roommates for a few years until I could afford my own apartment, and it was sooooo worth it. Nothing could beat being 24 with my own apartment when everyone I knew had to live with roommates or family. Sure it mean careful budgeting and not eating wonderful meals, but to me, having my own place was the #1 financial priority. Even if you have nothing saved as of today, you should be able to save up first month's rent and security deposit within 2 months, right? (Unless you're in NYC). Or, if your relationship with your parents is otherwise good, maybe they'll help you with the security deposit, if you tell them they're right, you've been floundering, and you want to start moving in the direction toward independence and adulthood. A little bit of humbling yourself and telling them they're right can go a long way.
Which includes saving up enough money to get an apartment in Queens. Which unfortunately, they levied 90% of my takehome income during my P/T days while I was still in school.
I mentioned median Household because I'm 22 and making 50k for one person. Which given this economy, I would say is pretty good, so its not as if I'm being irreseponsible.
do 50% of the heavy chores and 1/3rd of the cooking
what does that mean, exactly?
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