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Old 01-20-2009, 07:45 PM
 
2 posts, read 5,556 times
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hi,
My name is Hannah and im 16. My boyfriend that I live with and I want to have a baby, but was wondering what the mental/physical risks are.
Because i've heard alot that teen moms can die during labor, and that worries me. So if anyone could give me some advice that would be great!


thanks

Hannah
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Old 01-20-2009, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Salem, OR
14,551 posts, read 34,994,992 times
Reputation: 14067
You might want to make an appointment with Planned Parenthood and talk with them, or call and make an appointment with an obstetrician.
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:16 PM
 
8 posts, read 43,833 times
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Yes, there is a chance of problems with teen pregnancy. The biggest one is the fact that very few people your age have the right temperment to be a good parent. You may have the absolute best of intentions, but the fact is you are still a kid yourself. I have worked a lot with young parents and had many foster kids over the years and those that had children while teenagers just had soooo many problems that they didn't realize they would face even with parenting classes. Very few couples of your age last long after the baby is born.
You need to really do some hard thinking about the real reason you want to have a baby. Yes, a baby is adorable, is fun to dress up, gives you someone that depends on you and makes you feel older. Some boys push their girlfriends to have a baby so it will tie them together or will "prove how much they love each other". It's not unusual for friends to push others in their group to have babies and "We'll all help each other raise them". It does not work out that way in real life. Babies cry a lot, cannot tell you why they are doing it or what the problem is, won't stop just because you want them to or because you are tired and want to sleep. They need more to eat than just having a bottle of milk after the first couple of months. They depend on you for everything and to keep them healthy, happy and emotionally well adjusted, you HAVE to take care of them. You will lose being carefree, running around wherever you want to any time you want and they are expensive. You need an income, a good support system of family and/or close friends. Especially if you have twins or triplets which does happen occasionally no matter how much you hope it won't.
It is harder on a teenagers body to have a baby. It doesn't always have bad effects, but the chance is there and any doctor would advise you against having a child at your age too. Our 17 yr old daughter got pregnant and she nearly died before having a miscarriage. That doesn't happen to all girls, it happens to older women too, but having a baby is not always easy.
Please don't think I am just being hard on you. I have seen so many young girls become tied down and hearing them cry about how life has become so much different than they thought it would be and wish that omeone had talked some sense into them while they had the chance to stop. You will be in my heart and mind for a long time to come. Even strangers can worry about you, dear lady, and I will be one of them.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Denver
1,082 posts, read 4,403,047 times
Reputation: 550
I was thirty, and we both had good jobs and a house and kids are HARD. My first baby was born disabled, was in the hospital six weeks and then again for surgery before she was a year old. They take up your whole life and then some--normal kids too. Please reconsider this--you have your whole life ahead of you and kids really need someone who can provide for them, understand them, and have a stable secure relationship with. There is no reason to rush into this. My sister had a baby at 14 and she has had irregular periods and other more serious health problems ever since as a result. Her economic dependency caused her to make choices about who she lived with and/or married that were not good psychologically. I know I have strong feelings about this but I think you are asking the right types of questions: what are the pros and cons of this, the benefits are idealized but you also have to ask what the risks are to you and to the baby. Especially when you don't have to have a baby now.
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Old 01-23-2009, 09:42 PM
 
Location: North Georgia
76 posts, read 189,391 times
Reputation: 65
Please don't have a baby right now. Wait. I had my little girl at 17 and it's made my life so incrediby hard. I love her with all my heart but if I could go back and do things differently I would. You will regret this. I'm not trying to be mean but the decision you and your boyfriend are trying to make is a very, very bad one. Don't do this. Just because you two are living together doesn't make either one of you ready for this.
And bare in mind, he might not be around to help you raise the baby! He could leave you, or something bad could happen to him. My little girl's Dad was killed in a car crash and until I got married to my husband I did it all alone.
Wait a few years. If you and your boyfriend are truly ment to have a family it will happen. But you're not ready. Finish school, go to college, have a LIFE. Don't have a baby. You're still a kid yourself whether you know it or not.

That having been said there are no more risks associated with teen pregnancy than adult pregnancy as long as adequate medical care is received.
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Old 01-24-2009, 10:43 AM
 
2,838 posts, read 9,294,756 times
Reputation: 2891
The health risks of pregnancy and giving birth should be the least of your concerns! The emotional and social consequences are much worse on you and the baby. In ten years you will look back and be horrified that you entertained the thought of mothering someone when you are still a child yourself... it's not fair to you or to your potential child to intentionally get pregnant now.
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Old 01-24-2009, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,998 posts, read 13,571,029 times
Reputation: 3538
In today's economy, is it really smart to get knocked up at the age of 16?
Unless you can find a GREAT paying job that caters to high school drop outs and you WON'T have to go on social assistance...let us all know so we can spread the word.

10 hard questions to ask yourself before having children for women

10 hard questions for men to ask before having children

You have plenty of time to be knocked up but right now you should be focused on high school, then college (whether it be community college or a four year college), and finding a job so you can actually support a child without assistance from the government, family members, or whoever.

Health risks of teen pregnancy
The Risks of Teen Pregnancy

Teenage Pregnancy - March of Dimes

Now with all those health risks, do you or your boyfriend have a well-paying job with benefits to cover most of the medical expenses that come along with giving birth, and especially to a child that might be born with special needs, considering your young age?

How much do you have in savings?
Do you know how much baby food, diapers, child care, clothing for children, baby crips, etc cost? Do you have enough money for that to where to where you wouldn't have to ask anyone else for money?

Are you sure you can handle the responsibility of being a mother at the age of 16? You do know you would be responsible for this thing AT LEAST until they're 18 years old?

I really hope you don't get yourself knocked up. You'd have a much better (easier) life if you just waited. Focus on getting an education, a good job,and then think if you really want your world turned upside down by a child.
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Old 01-24-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: North Georgia
76 posts, read 189,391 times
Reputation: 65
Quote:
do you or your boyfriend have a well-paying job with benefits to cover most of the medical expenses that come along with giving birth, and especially to a child that might be born with special needs, considering your young age?
Young mothers do not have increased risk of special needs children. It's the older (40s^) moms that have higher risk factors. A 16 year old is physically equipped to give birth without a hitch, its the MENTAL, economic and social consequences that she needs to be concerned with.

OP, just because you can physically do it doesn't mean you should! Mental, economic and social consequences should be enough to make you stop and think about what you're doing. And you're not just doing it to yourself, you'd be doing it to a child too if you get pregnant.
Be responsible.
If you feel you absolutely must have something to "mother" with your boyfriend, get an animal. I'm not trying to be rude, but get a dog or something, seriously. A puppy can be very challenging btw, not nearly as challenging as a baby, but it would be a good lesson for you and your boyfriend if you think you want a baby.

Also, search for some teen moms in your area and online. Talk to them. Tell them what you want to do and LISTEN to what they tell you. I have a hard time believing that even one of the teens you would talk to would agree with you.
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Old 01-24-2009, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Back in New York
1,104 posts, read 3,467,496 times
Reputation: 860
You gotta think this one through. I am sure you love your BF now but what if thinks don't work out? Do you really want to raise a baby on your own when your still not fully mature yourself. Don't you want to have a life in your late teens, early 20s? A child would seriously put a damper on that. Speaking for myself only I did not feel fully mature or developed mentally till I was about 25! When I was 16 I thought I was but I had so many years of growing to do! Honestly I would strongly advise you don't go through with this. Think with your head, not your heart!
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Old 01-24-2009, 05:20 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 36,576,035 times
Reputation: 6319
Get married and wait till you are at least 18. Thats my advice. 2 years is nothing anyway. At least coming from an adults point of view.

If you cant make the hard decisions to go with what you should in the best interests of safety and security, instead of what you want, you are not be mature enough to be a good parent no matter what your age.
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